After an hour of crying and the ringing in my ears stops from her screaming at me, I call Nick.I couldn’t let him hear me in the state I was in.When he answers I try to sound cheery.
“Hey, you.”
“What’s wrong?”
“How do you know?”
“I can hear it in your voice.I know when something’s wrong with my girl.”
I sit back in the garden while a warm breeze blows around me and clear blue skies with big fluffy white clouds float by.Being up here makes me feel good.It’s the place Nick and I first made love…second, if you count the back of the car.I like to think of it as the first.It’s our place, all good memories.I close my eyes and open them, nothing like spring in the city.People laughing and yelling, cabs honking, kids playing, different smells wafting through the air.It’s enough to drown out my mother’s shrill voice in my head.I’m glad it’s not hot enough for the smell of hot garbage to waft past my nose.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
“I called my mother and told her.”
“She didn’t take it well.”
“I felt like I was standing in the middle of a beach in a tsunami.It was brutal.I should have expected it.Silly me for having the tiniest hope things might change.”
“Why didn’t you wait for me to come home?”
“It was better this way.It’s over with, and I don’t have to hide anymore.Chris doesn’t have to pretend he doesn’t know.”
“You should have waited for me.I wanted to be there with you.”
“I’m fine.Well, that’s a lie.I’m not.”
“They’re your family, but if they can’t be supportive, I don’t think it’s good for you to be around them.You should be happy you’re having a baby.”
“I am.”
“You don’t sound happy.You sound like you’ve been crying.You’re not happy when your family is mentioned or you’re thinking about them.If they can’t accept you being pregnant and being with me, it’s best for you and the baby to stay away from them.”
“You’re probably right.I don’t want to have to defend myself and my decision being with you until I have this baby.If they can’t accept it, then I’m going to have to let it go.”
“I’m sorry.I know you wanted it to go differently.”
“We can’t get everything we want.I’ll see you when you get home.”
“Love you.”
“I know.Bye.”
A week later, on myway home from work, I’m stunned when I see the name on my phone.It’s my mother.I thought about not answering it and sending it to voice mail.I didn’t need to hear any more of what she said to me.I’m still trying to forget it.I don’t know why, but something made me answer—call me a glutton for punishment.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Catherine.”
“I’m surprised to hear from you.Last week you told me I was on my own.”
“Your father and the rest of the family have talked about the unique situation this family is now posed with.We would like to see you and talk about this.”
“Talk about what exactly?”
“See if we can come together and work things out as a family.”
“Well, this is unexpected.”
