“A call to Sophie is long overdue.I didn’t want to call her until I could tell her about the baby.She’s going to demand to see me the minute she finds out.The baby is changing everything before it’s even born.I don’t even know if I’ll have my family around me when he or she is born.”
He sits back with his legs apart, his head on the back of the couch.“Are you ready for this?”
“No, this was a total surprise.”
He smiles at me.“Then you shouldn’t be having sex.”
I smile and feel my cheeks heat up.“You know what I mean.”
“If you mean going bareback and hoping for the best, yeah.”
My cheeks are really on fire.
“No need for you to be embarrassed, too late for that.”
I clear my throat and put my hand on the couch, the other in my lap.“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“Being you.”He looks at me, unsure of what I’m saying.“The you you’ve always been to me.It gives me hope the rest of the family will be somewhat understanding.”
“Yeah, I don’t know about that.”
“Me either, but a girl can dream, can’t she?”
He puts his hand on my stomach and smiles.“Sure she can.”
I come out of the bathroom in one of Nick’s T-shirts and crawl into bed with him after I turn off the lights.I lie on my side, and following his new nightly habit, Nick puts his arm around me until he falls asleep.
“How you feeling?”
“Better now that at least one person in my family knows.I’ll be able to stop wearing loose-fitting clothes to hide my bump.”
“I noticed.”
“Of course you did.What else did you notice?”
“You and Chris talking and laughing on the couch.You had a real sister-brother bonding thing going on.”
“We did.I miss being with my family.Laughing with them.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
“Chris said some things to me., I feel a little responsible for you not being with your family like the way you were today with Chris.”
I look into his eyes that I could get lost in and kiss him on the mouth.“The night I left the Christmas ball, Kate came outside.She said some stuff about you not choosing me over your child, and it would be like choosing her over me every time.”He opens his mouth to say something, and I stop him with another kiss.“Don’t say anything.That’s the way it should be.You should put your child first.I understand more now that we’re having one.What I’m saying is—you showed up for me without me asking, and you made me feel good, wanted.It was as if you were saying to Kate she was wrong, without you even knowing, because for one night, my night, you chose me and I didn’t have to say a word.You made me feel good.
“It was the worst birthday I’ve ever had; I felt hollow and alone, but I was surrounded by my family who loved me…at the time.It was a shitty end to a not-so-great day before you showed up in my apartment.Being with you made me happy.Not my family, you.I would love to have all the people I love together and happy, but if I can’t, I choose you.”
“You shouldn’t have to choose, but if you do, I’m glad it’s me.”
He kisses me on the forehead, and I snuggle closer to him, taking in his clean fresh smell and the way he feels.I love it.I start to drift off to sleep in his arms.
“Babe?”
“Yeah?”I mumble, my eyelids heavy.
