Nick
When Cat falls asleep, Igo through every drawer to make sure Paige didn’t leave any more unwanted mementos to remember her by.I flush that damn picture down the toilet.I should have told Cat that Paige was the girl I hooked up with when we weren’t together—and she works at the law firm.But, if she knows we work together sometimes and I have to go away on business with her a time or two, her momentary insecurity is going to turn into everyday worry.I don’t want her worrying for a second over something that doesn’t exist, especially not when things are so new with us.I’ll tell her after the baby; there’s low risk of her finding out unless she comes to the office unexpectedly.Then that might be a problem.
Nick
May
“Babe, relax, sit down.”Iput my hand on her waist and pull her on my lap.
“Why are you so calm?My stomach is doing flip-flops.More like jumping beans attacking me.”
“We don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to.I’ll call Chris and tell him to come another day.You’re upsetting my child; he’s going to be born with an anxiety problem.”
“We can’t put this off any longer.I’m showing more and more every day.I’m going on five months next week.”
Don’t remind me.Kate was five months pregnant when she miscarried.It’s the weirdest shit—I’ve been having dreams of Kate going into labor and losing the baby.There’s blood everywhere in the dream, she’s screaming and crying shouting that it’s my fault, if I didn’t get her pregnant this wouldn’t have happened to her.I touch her, but when she looks up at me, it’s not Kate anymore, it’s Cat.I wake up breathing hard and scared as hell.It’s happened at few times since I called Chris.I haven’t told Cat, as I don’t want her to worry.She’s worried enough about telling her family and going to meet my mother next week.
“Calm down, I’m right here with you.”I put my hand on her stomach and kiss her and the baby.“Has he moved yet?”
“I think so.Sometimes I feel a flutter of movement…it’s nothing significant, but I feel it.Why do you keep sayinghe?”
“I know we decided not to find out the sex of the baby next week, but I know it’s a boy.We’re having a son.”
“How can you possibly know that?You have some kind of psychic powers I don’t know about?”
“A man knows these things.The father-son connection is strong, even from the womb.It’s a guy thing; I believe it has something to do with high testosterone.”
“Bullshit.”She smiles, and I tap her on the lip with my finger.
“Not bullshit.Real talk.Right, son?”I say, pressing my lips near her belly button.“Right.”
“You’re going to be disappointed, we’re having a girl.”
“Says who?”
“The mother-to-be.The person with the baby growing inside her trumps your less than reliable psychic abilities.”
“We’ll see.”
“In four months you’ll see I’m right.Call it mother’s intuition.”
I smile back at her and move my hand around her small baby bump.She’s almost five months along, but you wouldn’t know she was pregnant unless she’s wearing a fitted shirt like the one she has on now.She usually wears loose clothing to work to hide her stomach.She hasn’t told me this, but I figured it out.The only time she ever wears anything fitted anymore is inside or when Ava’s around.I think she wants Chris to see she’s pregnant without her actually telling him.No need to say the words if you can see it with your own eyes.She puts her hands around my neck, breaking me out of my thoughts.
“Don’t worry, the baby’s fine; you’ll feel it move soon.”She creases her brow.“It feels wrong calling my babyit, we’re going to sayshefrom now on.”
“He,” I correct her.
“You can say he and I’ll say she.Well see who’s right in a few months.”
“Yes we will.”
“Seriously though, the doctor said everything was fine at our last prenatal visit.Don’t worry.”
“I’m not.”I’m lying.A month before Kate lost the baby, her doctor told her everything was good, and look what happened a month later.I wasn’t this worried the last time around.When you don’t know the things that could go wrong during pregnancy, your ignorance is truly bliss.Too much Googling and Web MD disturbs that bliss.I had to back away from the laptop; I felt like the information that was supposed to make me feel better by informing me was attacking me.Talk about information overload.
“Nick.”
“Yeah, babe?”
