“I’m having a baby with Catherine Reed, and we’re living together.”
I knew that would shut them up.My father’s hand freezes in midair with his drink.My mother looks stunned and confused.
“What did you say?”she asks me.
I repeat it slower and louder in case my father didn’t hear me either.“Cat is four months pregnant, and this baby is absolutely, one hundred percent, without a doubt mine.”
“What have you got—Olympic gold medalist swimmers?”My father’s drink almost spills over the glass when he points a finger at me.“Those little suckers are fast, aren’t they?You might want to make sure your fly’s closed or one of them slippery little suckers might decide to fly through here.”
I sit back, not amused.“Hilarious.You and Ava should consider a comedy act.”
“David, please, do you have to be so crude?”
“Allison, he got two sisters pregnantpractically at the same time.There’s nothing tactful about this.Her family is going to have a weenie roast with you.Family dinners are going to be a bitch.You’re going to be the damn main course.”
“Nick—” My mother leans forward with her hands together.I can see the worry lines creasing her forehead.
“Mom, I’m fine.”
“You recently lost a child with her sister.”
“I know, I was there.Like I said, I’m fine.”I haven’t thought much about it since the last time I saw Kate, and I would rather not.What good is it going to do?It won’t bring him back.Everyone has their own way of grieving and this is mine.
“He said he was fine, Allison.”
“Saying it and being it are two different things, David.”
“He’s a grown-ass man.He doesn’t need his mama coddling him.”
My mother doesn’t pay him any attention.“We’ll talk later.How’s Cat doing?Is she fine also, like you?”she asks, with one eyebrow slightly raised.
“As far as I know, she is.We’re good.”Until her family gets involved.
“When are you going to bring her over here?”
“Yes, when are we going to see your new baby mama?”my father says, taking a drink from his glass.
“My baby mama?”I sit forward on the couch with my arms on my knees and look up at him.
“That’s what she is, isn’t it?You’re not married and you’re shacking up together.”
“We’re not shacking up.She’s not my baby mama.She’s my girlfriend, and we’re living together.”He’s been dating too many women less than half his age.Baby mama.
“David.”My mother gives him a warning look.She knows any minute now I’m going to leave.
“I haven’t seen her since before she was legal.I remember she was a pretty little thing.Did she grow up to look like what I expect?I have an eye for fine things.”
“David, you need to stop talking now.Aren’t you late for your date?You should go before she toddles out into traffic.Don’t forget you haven’t hired her a nanny yet.Better yet, you should get her a nanny cam.”
“Honey, if there’s a camera involved, it will be strictly for viewing pleasure of the adult variety.”
Too much information.I don’t need to know about his after-hours activity.I look at my mother and father and stand.“I’m going home.I’ve said what I came to say, and I’ve heard way more than I want to.”They both stand up with me.
“Are you happy now, David?You ran him off.”
“I’m leaving too, right after I finish my drink.”
“No, put the drink down.”My mother grabs the drink and puts it down for him.“You’re leaving now.”
