“No, I was only wondering.”
She leans back and I study her.“Would you forgive me?”I ask her.
“Maybe.”
“Would you really, Cat?”
“I don’t know, it depends.Sometimes you don’t know what you’re going to do until you’re actually put in the situation.I’m speaking from our relationship experience so far—and my parents’.Would you forgive me if we were married and I cheated on you, Nick?”
I answer her honestly.I don’t need time to think about my answer.“No, I wouldn’t.I would strip you down to the bone and leave you with nothing.If I could, I would strip my name from you.”
Her gaze goes up to mine and she blinks twice.“I would gladly get rid of it.You would be that harsh and cruel to me?”
“Yes.I’m giving you my name and everything that comes with it, including my heart.I would rather you leave me than do that to me.”
“What would make me want to marry you—if you ever did want to—after this revelation?”
“Do you think you would cheat on me if I married you?”I counter, running a finger along her wrist over a vein across her delicate skin.
“No, I would be too afraid to think about it.This conversation would keep flashing in my mind along with the way your finger is moving over my wrist.”
I chuckle, lifting her wrist to my mouth and placing an open-mouth kiss over the same spot my finger left.“Then you have nothing to worry about.This is why if we were to get married, I would advise you to sign a prenup for your own good.”
“Oh my, you can be a cruel man, can’t you?”She sighs, watching me closely holding her hand in mine.
“I try not to be.I’m being as honest as I can, so you know exactly what you’re getting before you make a binding commitment.Till death do us part.I take that seriously.”
“What about in good times and bad times?You’re going to get rid of me if I don’t live up to what you expect?”
“No, I wouldn’t, I know no one is perfect.We’re going to have plenty of good times.The only truly bad time you will ever know is if I find out you cheated on me.That is when the prenup will work for you.There is no reason you should be afraid of marrying me if you plan to keep your legs closed to another man.It’s the only thing I ask that you not do, sleep with someone else—it’s that simple.”
“It’s a good thing I don’t ever plan on cheating.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“My man is fucked up.”I laugh at the way she says it, and the expression on her face.
“No, I’m real.When things are good, you don’t think about bad times.When they go bad, you don’t remember any of the good times.You want to hurt the other person as much as you’ve been hurt.Other people might see it as cruel, but if you’re not the one hurt, then you don’t know what it feels like.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I think you should come with me.My mother would like to see you.”She shakes her head back and forth vigorously.“I told her how I felt about you when you first came back.”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I love you, and if I love you my mother will too.She’s going to want to see you.She wanted to meet you at the Christmas charity ball, but she had the flu and she didn’t want to make anyone sick.”
“I’ll see her after you break the news and we see how mad she is.”
I lift her chin up and give her another kiss between each sentence.“I have to go.I love you.”
“I know.Do you know how much I care about you?”
“I know when you’re ready, you’ll tell me.That’s good enough for me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
