My body is no longer entirely my own.
A flicker of panic rises, and I instinctively check my bond for Cass.
It's instinctual, and not at all what I meant to do, but it’s too late. I’ve already found him. He's close. So close it feels like he's right down the hall.
And he’s happy.
There’s a low, steady hum of contentment flowing from him, and for some reason, I can’t help but think that he hasn’t been this happy in a long time.
“Of course he’s happy,” I grumble. “His pussy wasn’t ripped open.”
As the words leave my mouth, another memory surfaces deep inside my head. Of Cass holding me in the shower. His voice low and serious."You can be angry, irrational, or even abusive."
And just like that, every awful thing I said to him slams into me all at once.
I remember yelling at him, snarling and cursing, tellinghim I hoped his knee gave out. I remember hitting his chest hard, the sharp, wet smack of my palm against his skin.
Horror floods me as my mouth slowly falls open with shock.
I hit him.
I actually hit an alpha.
I've never hit an alpha. Ever.
Not in anger or in fear. Not even in self-defense. And the first one I ever laid a hand on was my mate.
So stupid.
I stare down at my own hand, turning it over as if it belongs to a stranger. I can't believe I was so stupid, and I can't believe he didn't beat me senseless for it.
But all he did was hold me and whisper that everything would be okay.
His reaction is so foreign, so utterly backwards, that my head starts to spin.
“Calm down, Tansy,” I tell myself, before sucking in a deep breath.
Dwelling on it won’t help. Replaying it won’t change anything. My head already feels too tight, too full, like one more thought might tip me over.
I drag in another slow breath and let it out through my nose, grounding myself in what’s real. The room. The light. The quiet.
My gaze wanders despite my panic, snagging on the dresser across the room.
There are clothes folded neatly on top of it, set there as if someone wanted me to see them.
I cross the room, pleased to find an oversized white shirt. It’s soft and worn thin at the collar. There are a pair of dark red boxers folded beneath them. Nothing fancy. Justpractical, clean, and faintly scented with Cass’s smoky-amber scent.
Of course.
I quickly put on the oversized clothes, then open the bedroom door. I’m a little surprised to find no one there.
The hallway is completely empty, with the muted daylight spilling in from somewhere farther down.
Sucking in a deep breath, I make my way through the house, the wood floor cool beneath my bare feet. My body still feels off balance, like it’s swaying a little too much with every step. The living room opens up, and I’m greeted by a lovely view of a sunset through the massive wall of windows.
The sky outside is still blue overhead with the sun inching its way toward the mountains in the distance. Yellow light bursts around it, the edges just now bleeding orange.
Did I sleep all day?
