I open my mouth, then close it. “I was going to say plus we weren’t ready, but that’s not true at all. We were always together when I went to New York. We hid it from no one. Out on the streets, in the restaurants, at home. While Tera thought she knew, she wasn’t sure. We didn’t do it to hide anything, it’s just how we were then.”
Linc leans forward. “We don’t want that anymore. We want to be together, and to love one another, without anyone interfering. It’s not that we don’t care the same for them, it’s just we matter more now. We’ve waited too long as it is.”
I nod. “We’re rounding thirty. I want as many years with Linc as I can get. That’s why we’re getting married.”
Joan’s eyes pop out and she laughs. “I am so happy for you both. This… this is the step I was hoping you’d take, Ethan. You’ve been ready for this for a very long time. And you, Linc. I don’t even have words. Does he finally realize you accept him as he is?”
Linc smirks. “He does.”
I nod. “I do.”
“Ethan brought something up to me last night,” Linc begins. “He thinks he’s not normal because we don’t, pardon my French, fuck like, and I quote ‘normal people’. All I can think when he worries about that is, since when are we normal? We’re us. We love how we love. We define us.”
“I couldn’t have said it better,” Joan tells me. “Ethan, you know your worth. You know. Don’t let some stigma or stereotype be something that makes you doubt.”
“We don’t need to do it that way,” Linc tells me. “Not unless you want to. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. You give me everything.”
I feel like a pussy right now. I want to cry. I can’t fight the one that slips from my eye.
“You’ll never feel unloved again,” Joan reassures me.
I nod. “After the attacks, I don’t want to worry about my past anymore. Life’s too short. I want to look to the future. Granted, I’ll have setbacks like last night.”
“You were triggered,” Joan tells me.
I nod. “I don’t think they’ll happen very often. I feel safe when Linc’s with me.”
“Which is why I’m going to discuss with Cage and Gio the possibility of joining Russo Security,” Linc tells Joan.
Joan frowns. “You know what that entails?”
Linc nods. “I do. I’m good with all of that.”
“That should be an interesting meeting. Should you need to discuss anything, don’t hesitate to call or stop by—one or both of you. It’s a change and a risky one.”
“Thank you, Joan, for going out of your way for us today,” I tell her. “It means a lot that we didn’t have to venture out. I don’t think I could have if I tried. I’m so stiff and sore.”
“Take a long soak in the hot tub or jacuzzi. You’ll feel better afterward,” she informs me.
I nod.
“You’re a good woman and an amazing therapist, Joan Wathey,” Linc tells her, hugging her lightly.
“We’ll talk soon,” she says, leaving the room and closing the door behind her.
“Just one more meeting,” I remind Linc.
“We’ve got time. Let’s take a soak before the big men show up,” Linc offers.
I groan. “Yes, please.”
37
LINC
The hot tub was just what we needed. Mama hovered as the hot tub is out near the pool and she saw us heading that way. She worries too much, but I get it.
Kennedy and Ben joined us. We hung out and shot the shit. They compared mine and Ethan’s bruises and injuries. His facial bruises beat mine, but my torso bruises won out. Like it’s a competition, I chuckle to myself.
