“Wow. You have been paying attention.” She blushes and looks nervous.
I do a mental fist pump. Yes!
“And that’s just for starters.”
“Well, look at you, Leo. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were interested in me.”
She rubs her hands on her shorts, the way she does when she’s nervous. Her hair is a wild whirlwind of dark strands whipping in the ocean air.
“I am interested in you, Jillie.”
“Leo, I don’t think you’re interested in me the way I’d like you to be interested in me.”
She’s got to be kidding. She can’t really believe that, can she?
“Why’s that?”
She tilts her head again. Another thing I’ve noticed. She does this when she has a point to make, one she’s sure of.
“Because every time I see you, I see you with a different girl—or Ella. That doesn’t instill confidence in your interest in me.”
“Again, looks can be deceiving, Jillie. I may be out with people in group situations, but I haven’t been on a date since I met you.”
She rolls her eyes. “Give me a break. I saw you at the burger joint with what’s her face and at the movies with the other one.”
“What you saw is what you’ll always see: someone wanting a piece of me whether I’m interested or not.” And me putting on a show for her, trying to make her as jealous as I am—was.
“Why do you allow that? I don’t understand why you would let people crawl all over you if you’re not interested.”
“I’ve never had a reason not to.”
“Huh?”
I smile at her confusion. I admit I’m not an easy guy to understand.
“I’ve never had a reason to care what it looked like, whether people were using me, whether people were invading my personal space. It’s just something I’ve gotten used to, something I’ve learned to live with. But I don’t want to do that anymore.” I take a step closer to her.
“You don’t?” Her voice comes out a squeak, and I can’t hide my grin.
“No, I don’t.” I can’t see her through all that wild hair, so I gather it in my hands. I need to see her eyes, her actual reaction when I tell her. “You see, Jillie, you got to me that night, too. I told you I wanted more from you, and I do.”
“You want more. From me. Like… what?”
More wiping of the hands on her shorts. When she wobbles a bit off balance, those hands find my bare chest. Heaven.
“Like, you and me going on dates. Texting like people who are interested in one another do.”
She starts to say something, but I stop her with a finger against those lips I want to devour.
“I want to be exclusive, Jillie. I don’t want to have a sexual relationship until you’re ready for it. I don’t think you are. Not yet.”
Her eyes go wide, then… dreamy.
“I want a real relationship with you. It’s something I’ve never had before with anyone. It’s likely I’m going to screw it up, so I’m going to ask you to be patient with me. I need you to be open and honest with me about everything. If I was too close to the girl at the soda machine, tell me. If you don’t like the way Ellen clings, tell me.”
She holds up a finger, and I laugh.
“I already know that. But I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me, okay? I don’t know what I’m doing. At all.”
