CHAPTER NINETEEN
It’s another couple weeks later when the girls finally corner me.
“One of you is going to get hurt,” Isla informs me.
“I know.”
“You need to stop this before that happens. Neither of you deserve that,” Audrey adds.
“But I really like Elan,” I admit.
“Not like you like Leo,” Audrey replies.
I sulk, sliding down in my chair. “Crap.”
Audrey sighs and sits next to me on the picnic bench. “Exactly. You have a great friendship. You need to keep it as that.”
“If you can,” Isla adds.
I lift a brow. Is she challenging me? I don’t need the incentive. Elan’s friendship is enough.
“I can. He’s such a great guy. I would never intentionally hurt him, and he’d never do that to me, either.”
“We know,” Isla responds.
“So, you need to stop before you go too far.” I give Audrey a questioning look. “Don’t think we don’t know you’ve rounded a few bases with Elan.”
I have the decency to blush. “I have. So what?” Then, I sigh. I know what. “I know. But what can I do? We get all hot for each other and just lose control.”
“What’s going to happen, Jillie, when Leo finally realizes what an idiot he’s being by not letting you in? Or what if it’s Elan who finds someone?” Audrey asks.
They don’t know about Elan’s feelings for Gianna, and I won’t break that trust. But how would I feel, really, if she showed interest in him? I think I’d be okay right now, but if he and I were having sex, I don’t think I’d be okay at all. Sharing that intimacy is what’s made it so difficult with Leo. Before Leo, I didn’t know there was more to sex than the act because, well, I was a virgin. But there’s even more to the freedom to touch and be touched by someone else.
I think it’s easier because I am genuinely attracted to Elan but also because I trust him. I’ve trusted him with things I haven’t even told the girls.
Would I be okay if he and Gianna got together? It would suck, honestly. Not because I don’t want him to be happy, but because I’d be losing one of my best friends. I’m closer to Elan than the girls, in some ways, and to have Gianna take time away from that relationship would leave me feeling lost.
I look at them, my besties. “You’re right. I need to make some changes.”
“There’s another option. If you want to keep Elan as a boyfriend, then you need to let go of Leo. Are you ready to do that?” Isla asks.
“I’m not holding on to him so much as he’s holding on to me. He gives me looks, stares, brief conversations that give me a glimpse of Jack, and he pulls me right back into the land of confusion,” I admit.
“Remember, he’s also a player and regularly seen with Ellen,” Audrey points out.
“Do you think they sleep together every time?” I wonder aloud.
Audrey shrugs. “I wouldn’t know, but if it’s not every time, I’m sure it’s some of the time. I don’t know if he sleeps with all of the different girls he’s seen with, either.”
“And there are a lot of girls,” Isla adds.
I drop my head down onto the picnic table. “I’m so screwed.”
Audrey pats my back. “Literally and figuratively.”
“Thanks so much for reminding me.”
“There’s a football game tonight. SBA is playing I don’t know who, but Carlos is going to be on the field and so is Brent. We need to go,” Isla informs me.
