Chapter 2
Lucy
The chaos surrounding me as Jesse and I get ready to walk out the door makes me want to rip my hair out. Four toddlers, three children, and umpteen adults all talking at the same time. So, I do what any good mother does. I soothe my children.
“We’ll only be gone overnight. Uncle Xan, Aunt Tera, Aunt Summer, Uncle Ethan, Aunt Nicole, and Uncle Ben will be taking care of you. You can play with Kadi and Maria and Antonio. Daddy and I will be back at lunchtime, okay? The boys nod, Kiki cocks her head to the side. “Okay mama.”
I hug them all and tell them I love them as does Jesse then, finally, we’re out the door—thirty minutes later than planned. We climb into the back of the car—security. Always security. Never a moment to ourselves anymore. We need this overnight—I need this overnight. I’m feeling claustrophobic in my life. I feel guilty for it. I love my family. I truly do. I just need a breather. Just—peace. Just—Jesse.
“Almost there, Cupcake,” Jesse informs me. I’ve been staring blankly out of the window, not seeing the sunshine, not seeing the people, not seeing the beauty of life.
“I’m sorry, Jesse.”
“Don’t be. Never be sorry for how you feel. Truth is, I could use some down time myself,” he admits.
I look at him hopeful. “Really?”
He nods.
I let out a relieved breath. “I’ve been feeling like such a horrible mother and friend. I swear to you, one more night in that house would likely drive me insane. I was ready to make a break for it.”
Jesse intertwines his fingers with mine. “Not without me, you don’t.”
“No,” I realize. “I could never go without you.” I rest my head on his shoulder.
“Luce. We’ve gone damn near three years without a break from everyone and everything. We went from meeting, recording, touring, having kids, writing, recording, touring, and now we’re back to writing songs. It’s okay to need a recharge. Hell, I could sleep for 48 hours straight without blinking an eye.”
I snicker. “The apple of your eye, your she-devil, only wants her daddy now. Well, you and Princess RaRa.”
“Tera does kinda look like that Princess Jasmine a little.”
I nod against him. “I see it. Never a dull moment with Kiki, that’s for sure.”
“Lord have mercy. I’m so grateful we didn’t have four girls. I’d be institutionalized.”
At that I laugh. I can’t help it. “Kiki is definitely a handful. She’s not a brat. She’s not a pain in the ass. She’s just… spirited.”
“I beg to differ, baby. She definitely can be a pain in the ass. Especially when she interrupts some amazing sex that I know is going to end in a phenomenal orgasm,” Jesse disputes.
“Oh, God. You’re so right on that part. That one night…”
His hand gently squeezes mine when I let out a moan.
“Don’t even remind me. You were right there and I’d been hanging on the edge, trying to make it last just a little longer. God damn, it felt so good. To turn up the heat a bit between us and hear Kiki ask us what we’re doing—”
“—From right next to the bed.”
Jesse groans. “I wanted to send her out for just one more minute so we could both come. Worst case of blue balls in the history of blue balls.”
“Is there a female version of blue balls?” I wonder aloud.
Jesse chuckles. “I don’t know but if there is, you fucking had it that night.”
I tilt my head up to look at him from where my head’s still resting on his shoulder. “How does she always know?”
He rubs his free hand over his face then lets out a chuckle. “Fuck if I know, but that kid has radar for anyone fucking. Did Xander tell you about the time he and Tera were fucking in the shower and Kiki kept pounding on the door?”
This time I let out a loud laugh. “Serves him right for spoiling her like he did. And now with her obsession with Princess RaRa…” I laugh again. Kiki stopped in her tracks the first time she saw Tera. She just stopped and stared. Her face full of wonder and surprise. She told Tera she looked like Princess Jasmine from Aladdin and ever since then, they've been best princess pals. I am in no way jealous of their bond. I'm grateful she can brush someone else's hair and tell all her tales. She needs more than just me--as much as I'd love to keep her all to myself.
The car stops.
“We’re here,” Jesse mutters. “Thank Christ, we’re here.”
I moan longingly for the silence and the comfort of a bed no children will be crawling into, doors no one will be knocking on unless we request it. We’re on the top floor—extravagant for one night, but fuh-huhu-uck me I’m exhausted.
