19
LUCY
Iknew this day would come, when we’d meet her, but I’m not ready. I’m angry and hurt and my heart hurts. I had no warning.
When they finish walking up the stairs, I look to Sera. “Watch the kids?”
It sounds like a question, but it’s really not. I don’t even wait for an answer before grabbing Jesse’s hand and pulling him to our suite.
Have you ever been so frustrated you wanted to cry? That’s me right now. But I need to get my angry out first.
Jesse shuts the door and leans back against the wall—waiting.
“I knew. I knew about her. He mentioned her name. I knew she meant everything to him.” I let out a huff of exasperation and begin pacing. “Why didn’t either of you tell me!”
Jesse doesn’t flinch, but I see remorse in his eyes.
“It wasn’t my story to tell, Cupcake.”
“I’m yourwife!We have no secrets from one another—or, at least, that’s what I thought.” The tears are threatening now, but I push them back.
“Tera and Xander made a deal when we went on the road,” Jesse explains.
“What kind of deal?”
He sighs. "All I know is they were keeping their relationship private, so Tera wouldn't be bombarded by fans or the press. Then something happened—something horrible, and that made the deal solid—for all of us. We all made promises. No one said anything about them being married. No one.”
“You could have told me!” I yell. A tear slips free. “Heshould have told me.”
“Try to understand, Luce. When that something bad happened, he didn’t know if they’d ever live the life of a traditional husband and wife. Honestly, I’m amazed she’s here. Not because she doesn’t love him—she does. She fucking loves that guy like crazy. But because of what happened,” Jesse tells me, wiping away my tears.
“You can’t tell me that either, huh?”
“No. That’s not—”
“Your story to tell. I know.” I know it’s not fair to take my anger and frustration out on him. I know, but still I snap at him.
“Luce…”
“She just showed up. No one knew. No one was prepared—Iwasn’t prepared, and I really, really needed to prepare for that, for this. This… it hurts, Jesse,” I admit.
He tries to pull me into a hug, but I pull back, my angry not gone yet.
“He’s ours! Damn it, Jesse, he’sours! He should have told me. How could he not tell me something like this? And then she shows up. Did he know?” I look up at the ceiling and raise my fisted hands to my chest, my gaze lowers to meet Jesse’s. “He’sours!”
Jesse walks up slowly, holding my face in his hands, his thumbs wiping my tears.
“You have to understand, Cupcake. He was hers, first.”
And that’s all it takes. I burst into tears. It’s not rational, my thinking Xander is ours, but that’s how I feel.
“Do you think he’d be happy like this forever, Luce? Having no one of his own? Because, in reality, you’re mine and I’m yours. He’s part of us—yes, but he’s notpartof us. He deserves his own happiness and love, doesn’t he?” he asks.
I nod. “Yes. But it hurts.”
Jesse sighs. "I know, Luce. I know. I know you love him. Maybe not how you love me, but you love him. I know he loves you, too. I know it, and I know you can't help how you feel. I know you'd never act on it—either of you, but it still sucks for me."
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
