"I don't know. I guess to bring me coffee since he had a big cup and offered it to me."
"You didn't take it?" he questions.
"Do you see any cups of coffee around here?" I ask, exasperated.
"Nope. Is that all he wanted?"
"I dunno and I don't care, Linc. Why would he just show up like that?" I wonder aloud.
"Probably because you won't take his phone calls."
I scoff. "He should be used to that by now. I don't want coffee from him. I don't want him to show up on my doorstep out of the blue. I don't want anything but to finish this piece I'm working on."
"What's that Shakespeare quote? 'Methinks the lady doth protest too much.'"
"Bite me, brother. He made asex tape!A threesome with Jesse! I'm not supposed to be bothered by that?" I rage.
"I never said that but it was months ago, and it's not like you haven't been getting your fair share of ass," he retorts.
"Yeah, but I'm not stupid enough to fuck someone who's going to make a sex tape so they can leak it for a quick buck and the fast track to fame!" I snap.
"Maybe he wants to talk, explain things. Maybe he just wanted to have coffee. Maybe he wanted to see how you're doing."
"What he wants and what he gets are two different things where I'm concerned." I eye him, and he's got that look, the one that tells me he's hiding something.
"What?" he asks.
"What are you keeping from me? You know I can always tell."
"If you want to know, next time he shows up, and you open the door, tryasking him."
"No."
"What've you got to lose, T? Don't you think it's been long enough? It's been what, over two years, right?"
I nod. "Two years, five months, and twenty-three days."
"But who's counting, right?" he quips.
"It doesn't matter if I'm counting or not. It doesn't matter if I want to open that door and kiss his face off. It doesn't matter, Lincoln, and do you know why?"
He shakes his head. "No."
"Because I'm angry and resentful and so not ready to stand in the Falling Down spotlight he's going to want me to be in. Maybe not now, maybe not next month, or even next year, but he's going to want that and I may never be able to give him that. I may be too broken to give him what he needs and that will hurt him worse than my keeping the door closed," I tell him, wiping tears off my cheeks, likely smearing paint.
He pulls me close. "Tera. You know him. You knowthem. No one would ever ask you to do something you're not ready for.Ever.I'm not sure what his agenda is, why he came by, but I do know that Ethan told me your husband, Xander Thomas Mackenzie is lost without you. They're home from their overseas tour, and he said he needs you more than he needs to breathe. You know that you're his heart, right? That will never change, no matter how hard you push him away or how hard he pushes back. You two are soul mates, and I think you need to start accepting it."
"I don't want to talk to him because, Lincoln, I'm so angry and resentful. I feel like a child, but the feelings are real, and they're rational and just."
"Then you need to get them out. You need to talk to him and them so you can move past where you are right now."
"What's so wrong with where I am right now?" I ask as I grab a paper towel and blow my nose.
"You're stuck. You have nowhere to go. It's the end of the line, baby sister. So it's time tocommunicatewhat you're feeling and then explain why. Then, you talk it out and get past it. Don't you think it's time to forgive him? And them?" he asks softly.
I sigh. "I want to. I just don't know how."
"You're a smart girl. You'll figure it out."
