2
TERA
Something’s wrong.
The dream feels real. But it’s a dream so it can’t be. I try to wake myself time and again, but I fail—until the first twinge of pain hits me. I sit up and a gush of warm fluid flows between my legs.
Ugh. My period. It’s so different from what it was before… well, before. Now, it’s so heavy all the time.
I make my way to the bathroom and feel the blood run down my legs.
Something’s wrong.Too much blood.
I step into the bathtub and shout for Dad. With Linc out of town, Dad—Dr. Matthew Mackenzie—has come to stay for the weekend.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I look down and his gaze follows.
“Let’s get you out of those pants, Tera. You need to wash up,” he tells me calmly.
“But—what’s happening? This isn’t right, Dad.”
He shakes his head. “No. No, it’s not. When’s the last time you and Xander were intimate?”
There’s no time to blush from embarrassment. I’m too panicked.
“Five or six weeks ago.”
He nods. “Tera,” my dad says softly, gently, “I’m sorry, but you’re having a miscarriage.”
I flinch. “What? But how? We were safe, and the doctors said…”
“They never did the extensive testing, and condoms are only 97% effective.”
“We didn’t use a condom, though. I’m on the pill. I take it every day at the same time. This shouldn’t be,” I say again, my breath getting stuck in my lungs. IknowI’ve not skipped any pills. Since the attack, I’ve been pretty controlled in everything that pertains to my body. The doctor calls it obsessive-compulsive disorder due to my need to control what they took from me.
Cramps hit me hard and I bend over, clutching my abdomen.
“Hurts,” I wheeze.
“Breathe, Tera. You were sick and on antibiotics for your bronchitis. Antibiotics decrease the efficacy of the pill.”
Shit.I remember. I was so sick, but we were together only twice that weekend. My mind flickers back to those times. How slowly and tenderly we made love. The first time since the attack. I didn’t flinch. I was finally,finallyable to give myself to him again. It was beautiful and so poignant. It healed me just a bit more. I’m almost there. I’m almost whole again—oh, God. The cramping steals my breath.
I’m losing our baby.
I begin to hyperventilate as tears pour from my eyes and my heart hurts so much inside my chest I wonder how I’m still alive.
“Shh,” Dad whispers. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”
“I-it’s n-not! L-losing our b-baby!” Pain lances through my entire being. Was it something I did? Am I damaged beyond all hope?
“I did something wrong.”
“You didnothing wrong. Miscarriages aren’t uncommon, Tera.”
“I’m defective,” I whisper. “Xander deserves children. I know he wants them. What if I can’t give them to him, Dad?” If I lose him… I’ll lose what’s left of myself.
