Page 61 of Xander: Vol. 1


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I can't wait to see her again this weekend. I want to touch her and hold her and live inside her as much as I can. I'm going to make love to her and then fuck her until she walks funny. I want her to feel me inside her even when she's home.

I thrust into my fist, imagining pounding into her, hard, deep, her crying out as she comes. Fuck yeah. The look on her face… it's beautiful and euphoric. How her pussy squeezes me when she comes.Shit.

A few pumps later and I start to come, thick white jets of semen spiraling down the drain. When the last wave pours out of me, I'm drained and spent—physically and emotionally.

I towel off, wrap a towel around my waist, and find some clean clothes. I don't feel like talking to anyone, so I grab my iPod and earbuds and climb in my bunk. I lie back, closing my eyes, thinking of Tera. It's late on a Thursday but I want to call her. I want to Skype so I can see her face. When we do, I run my finger over her face on my phone, trying to trick my mind into believing I can really feel her. It never works.

John Waite comes on and he starts singing about not missing someone and lying to himself. Why lie? Own it.

She'll be coming here tomorrow, but then the next weekend she'll be going to formal with Carter. I scoff. Carter fucking Winters. The fucker took my girl's virginity and didn't even get her off when he did. Who does that? Guys who don't give two shits or don't have a clue as to what they're doing. Then again, maybe he tried his best but she just couldn't come for him. She said she never came. With all the screwing around they did, she never came. Not once.

Her heart wasn't in it. It was always with me.

I look at the time. It's eleven thirty. She has school, then she'll be on her way to me. I should wait. Instead, I push the Skype button and wait. She answers sleepily. She's disheveled and so fucking beautiful I can't believe she's mine.

"Xan, are you okay?" she asks.

I nod, holding in my emotions. If I let them out, I'll start crying like a bitch.

"Yeah, I'm good. I just needed you," I confess.

Her expression goes soft. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am now. I'm missing you, baby. I'm missing you a fuck of a lot and I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"I miss you too, Xan. So much, all the time. I'll be there early since you're so close to home. Are you sure you don't want to go home overnight?" she asks.

"Nah. Too much running around and it's easier on Dad if I don't come home for a few hours, then leave again. Plus, I want to spend my time with you," I tell her honestly.

"I want that too. I'm so excited to see you. I wish I could have made it to your show, but I had to finish my project for the competition. Mrs. Stark is going to get it ready to transport to Los Angeles where they'll be judging. Shea's piece is so damn good, Xan. She is crazy talented at sculpting."

I can't help but smile at her enthusiasm. My music is equivalent to her art. "Did you take pictures? I want to see them both."

"I did. I wanted to show them off to you and the guys when I get there," she sasses.

"You're so beautiful, Tera. Have I told you that?"

"You have. You do, all the time." Her brow furrows. "What's wrong?"

"I promise, there's nothing wrong. I'm just missing you. Tomorrow can't get here fast enough."

"Oh, Xan. I'm right here, anytime you need me. Just the touch of a button away. I'll always be here," she whispers.

"Promise?" I ask, feeling uncertain and insecure.

"I promise. Always. Maybe you need some sleep. You get emotional when you're tired, babe. Besides, you're going to need that rest to keep up with me this weekend," she taunts.

"Baby, I can keep up just fine. It's you who's going to be crying uncle."

"Hell no, I'm not. I'll never admit defeat."

"You're so cute when you're being all bad ass." I touch her face on the screen.

"Sleep, Xan. I'll be there in less than twenty-four hours, and this tour will be over in a month. We've gotten through it this far, we can manage the rest," she assures me.

I nod. "We can. I love you, Tera." My heart bursts and fills.

"I love you too. So much."

I smirk and she grins.

"See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," she replies, and I hang up.

I put my earbuds back in and lie back. I'm calm. The sadness has passed.

All I needed was her.