"That must frustrate the hell out of him, " Dr. Mac mutters with a smirk.
I nod. "It totally does."
I stare at the canvas with him. I wonder what he sees. Everyone who stares at a painting sees something differently. It's all about their perspective. As much as I'd like them to see what I'm feeling, I still hold back with this piece. Those feelings are too raw.
"Go on with what you were saying," he prods.
"Well, we text and talk when we can. I get more time to text at certain times than he does and he gets more time at others. We can't seem to connect at the same time, but that's okay. We still connect, you know?"
"But?"
"But no matter how close we try to stay, he's still so far away. I see his face when we Skype, but it's not the same. I miss all of them. The house is too quiet."
Dr. Mac nods his agreement. "It is. It's taking some getting used to."
"How did Mr. Nichols talk the Kingstons into letting Jesse and Ben go on tour?" I ask, curious. I never did ask.
"Money. With them it's always money. It's how they were able to be on the show," he informs me with a look of derision.
I nod. "Sounds about right. At least they got to go. Mr. Nichols is very young to own a record company."
He nods. "He is, but when I talked to him he mentioned taking over for someone, essentially buying out a mediocre record company and turning it around. He's got a good head for business."
"I bet in five years he has a huge company. That'll be great for the guys."
"I worry about them. I worry they'll get in with the wrong crowd and do things they shouldn’t, get into trouble."
"They won't, Dr. Mac. You know, they all made a pact to not go down that path. With Kennedy's mom, Ethan's mom, and my mom, they saw firsthand what destruction the hard drugs bring with their high. We all decided it's not worth it," I tell him.
His brow lifts and he smiles. "I'm glad. Thank you for telling me. That helps."
"I thought you knew about that already. I'm sorry I didn't mention it sooner. It's not a secret. It's something we're all pretty proud of."
"And you should be. I'm just realizing you're not kids anymore. You're grown ups, but you've been making grown-up decisions for quite some time already, haven't you?" he questions.
"Yes," I answer with a shrug. "It's just how it was, so we did what we needed to."
"I wish you'd all had better childhoods. I tried my best, but some things can't be forgotten," he offers.
"No, they can't, but Dr. Mac, you took care of us. You loved us and gave us a place to call home. We never had a home like this."
At his questioning look, I elaborate.
"We had a house to go to, but never a home. Home is where you're loved. Home is where you feel safe. Home is where happiness and laughter begin. We all had that here. Please don't think you didn't do enough. You did so much."
He pulls me into a hug. "And I'll keep doing it. Come to me when you're lonely, Tera. I'm here. I miss them too."
I sigh. "Okay."
"We'll find a way to get through it."
"We will."
* * *
"Hey, baby," Xander says by way of greeting when I answer the phone.
"Hey, you! You're calling me early," I murmur softly as I exit the classroom. Funny how they never question me when I leave without permission.
