"Xan. Holy shit, I mean, we're talkingmarriagehere. I figured we'd get married some day, but I didn't… we'reseventeen."
"You keep saying that, but does it really matter? We knew when we were eight, the minute we saw each other, that we were forever. Why not make it legal?" I reason.
"You're right. You're absolutely right, but Xander, your life is just beginning. You're going to be out there rocking people’s asses off. You might want something different once you learn what all that is about. I can't go with you. It's not in the cards. I've got to finish my senior year here while you all get tutored on the road."
"We're only going to be gone for three months," I remind her.
She nods. "And then you'll go out on tour again for a few more months. Mr. Nichols said they want you to tour a lot at first. Get your name out there. Three months on, a month off, for a year. I can come visit, but I can only come on weekends or days off—and you may be traveling or have shows then having to move to the next place."
She looks down and takes a breath. When she looks up, there are tears welling in her eyes.
"I want so much to say yes. More than anything I want to be your wife, to be yours forever."
"But…" I prod with a lopsided grin that is anything but happiness.
"But… why don't we wait. See how these first three months go. Then, if you still feel the same about marriage and about me, ask me again. If you ask me again, I'll say yes," she says softly, trying to smile but failing.
A lone tear drips down onto her cheek.
"Don't cry, T. I get it. I do. I won't say I'm not disappointed, but you're right. We'll both be eighteen when I get back, adults, and we'll know more. But, damn it all, Iknownothing's going to change for me. I'll still love you so hard I ache and I'm going to want you for always," I defend.
She nods. "I think so, too… but we need to know for sure. Just in case. Because if I marry you, Xan, andwechange, I won't recover from that. I don't doubt that we'll always be in love, for as long as we both are breathing, but circumstances change and then feelings change. You may not want to be married after you find out what touring entails, but we can still love each other."
"You suck. Why do you have to be logical?" I tease.
"I'm brilliant, that's why," she mocks, grinning through tears.
"Nothing is going to change. Not for me, Tera," I affirm once more.
She nods. "For me either. Let's just wait. It's only three months."
"I’m holding you to that," I warn.
"Good. I'm a woman of my word. You know that."
I close the ring box. "This will be waiting and so will I."
* * *
Two days later, we're packed and all loaded up. Nichols Records hooked us up with pretty luxurious tour buses—one for us and one for the equipment and crew. Nichols Records also hooked us up with the lighting kit we used when we performedWe're Here. Big bucks.
I was expecting the tour buses to be shitty, like you see some bands on for their first tour. But Cage Nichols spared no expense. This dude thinks we're the next big thing. He believes in us so much, it's staggering.
Jerry, our tour manager, is handling the crew and all the other shit, but we were told if we have any concerns, to contact Mr. Nichols directly. He's a pretty fucking stand-up guy.
I hold Tera close, just breathing in her floral scent. Jasmine. That's what she says it is, but I always associate it with her. She gave me a pillowcase she sprayed with the scent and she slept on it for two days. I gave her a bunch of my t-shirts. I'd wear them for a few hours, then she put them in Ziplock bags. This girl, she's a genius… and she's mine.
"I'm going to miss you so fucking much," I admit.
"I'll miss you, too. But I'll be in Denver in two weeks. If anything changes and it doesn't work out, Xan, don't feel badly about it. Promise me," she demands.
"I promise, baby. How am I going to go two weeks without you?" I murmur.
"We'll make it. We can text and you can call anytime. I'll ditch class just to talk to you, you know that, babe. I can't imagine any of the teachers giving me shit for it. I've got a slack senior year," she informs me.
"I hate that you'll be there without me. Don't take any shit from anyone."
"I won't. I'm made of tougher stuff than they are."
