Chapter Five
Xander
The wayshe looks at me makes my heart beat so fast. Just that look fills me with so much warmth and love—love? Yeah, it's love. I've loved her from the minute I met her and I'm going to love her forever. I don't think forever is going to be enough time to love her in all the ways I want and need to. I don't just mean fucking. I meanallthe ways. Happy, sad, and everywhere in between. She's it for me.
I wasted so much time. We missed out on sharing our firsts. I want to kick my own ass for that. Life is full of regrets. We can't change the past. All we can do is learn from it. And what I've learned is I can't live without her. I can't, I won't, and I don't have to.
She's mine.
She tells me everything I need to know with that smile, the sparkle in her eyes, and the love that radiates from her into me. I didn't know it was possible to find your soul mate at the age of eight, but I did. Tera's my forever.
"Tera," I say softly.
She grins. "Xander."
The guys all groan and leave the room. They could've stayed. I don't care if they see or hear this. I'm not ashamed of how I feel. It's time I man up and own it.
"I love you," I tell her.
Her eyes go wide, then tears fill them. "Xander," she whispers. "I love you, too."
I feel so much right now, and I'm not holding anything back. I let the tear fall that's been threatening for a few minutes now. She's giving me all of her and I want her to have all of me.
She kisses me. Softly at first, just a press of her lips against mine, then more. It's like the first kiss. It's all consuming and I'm so damn hard for her it hurts. But I'm not rushing her. If she isn't ready for the physical part yet, I respect that.
She pulls back and bites my earlobe.
"You're killing me, babe," I groan.
Tera looks me in the eye and without hesitation says, "I want the hotel room, but I don't want to wait another week, Xan. We've waited long enough, don't you think?"
I don't even know what to say. "Tera. You don't have to—"
She presses her index finger against my lips. "I know. I want to. You know me. I never do anything I don't want to do. Not even for you."
I nod. "That's how it should be. Always be you, Tera. You're fucking perfect."
"So, tonight? Since the guys have their own rooms now, I can come sneak into yours," I whisper in his ear.
"Is that really what you want?"
"Mhmm."
I nod. "Then yes."
She looks down, a wave of sadness crashing over her.
"What is it?" I ask.
She hesitates.
"Tell me," I prod.
She runs her finger over the lettering on my t-shirt. "It's just…"
I put my finger under her chin and lift her face up, so I can see her eyes. "It's just what? Talk to me, T."
"I hate the thought of other girls being in your bed.Thatbed."
