“Heard, Chef,” Corbin said in response, holding out his closed fist, which the kid gleefully bumped with their own.
“Father,” Titan said then in a low, controlled voice, “I think you are forgetting something.”
“What would that be?” Mr. Leon squared his shoulders and would have looked properly intimidating if his mustache had been just a little lighter on the handlebar.
“You are forgetting that I am no longer under your command, the way I was in my youth. I do not have surprise that you have forgotten this, as for many moons I, too, had belief that I was under the obligation to do everything that you expected from me. But this is an untruth. I do not have to do anything you ask of me, and if you wish to remove me from my ambassador position, then I cannot stop you, but I will also not be accompanying you back to our homeworld if you do. I have made my choice, and that choice is Ezra Miller of Bumfuck Nowhere, New Mexico, United States, Earth.”
“If this is truth, then I feel urgency to inform you that you are making such a choice without my approval.”
“Well, Father,” Titan said, pushing his chair back and getting to his feet. “As the English-speaking humans would say: you can place your approval up the entirety of your rectal cavity.”
And with that, he turned on his heel and left the dining room in a huff.
A ringing silence followed. Corbin clicked his tongue a couple times, then looked at Mr. Leon.
“What he meant to say was that you can shove it up your ass.” he explained helpfully, then clapped his hands together. “Well, I for one am enjoying myself. What’s for dessert? Not more chicken nugget Jell-O, I hope.”
“I feel enjoyment of the Jell-O,” said one of the kids through a mouthful of dinosaur chicken nugget, blue gelatin glimmering in their mustache hairs.
“For dessert,” Kyle said, “I created scones.”
“I’m gonna go check on Titan,” Ezra said immediately.
He was out the door faster than you could say “blueberry salmon.”
36
Ezra
Even though Ezra hadn’t gone any farther than the dining room, had set up a nanny cam to stream to his phone, and had made sure that Buttons was keeping a close watch in his stead, the wash of relief upon returning to his bedroom and finding all three eggs were right where he’d left them in their bassinet was next-level amazing. He didn’t like being away from them, no matter how briefly. Jude had warned him it might be like this—he’d gone through something similar while nesting with his clutch—but nothing he’d said could have prepared Ezra for such intensity.
If anyone—anyone—were to touch his eggs or, hell, even get too close, he didn’t know what would happen. When it came to their safety and well-being, it was like the chill side of his mind switched off, and the homicidal side switched on. He’d never been prone to angry outbursts, but now all bets were off. Even the slightest provocation would get him going.
Annoyingly, that also meant that when the eggs were out of eyeshot, he was worried about them constantly. Being half lizard was a trip.
But right now, it was the full lizard lying face down the wrong way onhis bed he was the most worried about.
“Hey,” he said, just in case Titan hadn’t heard him enter. “It’s just me. No one else is here. You don’t have to get up or anything.”
Titan mumbled something unintelligible into the mound of blankets he’d gathered as an improvised pillow. His feet—bare, thank god—were pressed against the headboard, the actual pillows there acting like tiny ankle blankets. Buttons rounded out the rest. Never one to turn down a comfortable, warm place to sit, she’d assumed loaf form on Titan’s butt and was using the extra elevation to better watch the eggs.
Ezra approached and held out his hand for her to sniff, which he was pretty sure was the polite way to say hello in cat. “Thanks for keeping an eye on the omelets.”
“I do not understand why you refer to them as omelets,” Titan said, voice muffled by the blankets as he continued to lie face down on the mattress. “Do you wish to eat our offspring?”
“Yes, I forgot to mention, I’m part human, part Darvrokian, and then also part Donnerpartyan.”
Titan lifted his head just enough to raise an eyebrow.
“Donnerpartyan?”
“Yeah, it’s this alien species made of cannibals. There aren’t many of us left, mostly because we keep eating each other.”
The corner of Titan’s mouth twitched. “I do not know about this. Are you sure you are not mistaken? I am very wise and know many things, yet I have not heard of this alien species.”
“Hm, well, maybe you aren’t as wise and knowledgeable as you think.”
“Perhaps this is true. Do you think if we told my father this, he would cease having high expectations of me?”
