“Protandry?” Ezra wrinkled his nose. “Hey, Siri…”
“You need not summon your god,” Titan said with a wave of his hand. “It simply means that your body has belatedly developed the parts necessary to carry offspring, but that it has not always been that way. Before you met me, and my Darvrokian genetic material activated your latent DarvrokianDNA, you only bore what was necessary to impregnate sexual partners. Due to protandry, such is no longer the case.”
Ezra narrowed his eyes. “How do you understand the concept of protandry, but not how to use a toaster?”
“Toasters are manufactured terror machines,” Titan said simply. “You may ask my brother, and he will tell you the same. There is no reason they must expel their delicious toasted goods so violently, yet they lure their victims in with promises of sweet sustenance and surprise them with violence time and time again. On the other hand, protandry is a good and natural phenomenon that is seen in many beings throughout the known universe, even here on the planet known as Earth, and is a normal Darvrokian trait that allows our species to be fruitful and multiply.”
“So they’ll be little aliens,” Ezra mused, tilting his head at the eggs in contemplation.
Titan attempted to resist correcting him, but as the Earth saying went, old habits perish with great difficulty. “Well, in this instance, I do not believe the word ‘alien’ is the most accurate terminology. The word presupposes that there is a foreignness about our offspring, but in truth, there is nothing but familiarity. You have gone through many difficult situations and have been made aware of many difficult truths in quite a short period of time, so I do not wish to make you have pressure, but it is perhaps worthwhile for you to consider reframing your thought process. You think of Darvrokians as aliens, but they are not. Not to you or me. Because we are Darvrokians.” He nodded toward the eggs. “All eight of us.”
At this, Ezra—seemingly unconsciously—lifted his hand in order to chew nervously on his thumbnail, but Titan intercepted and instead held on to him, lacing their fingers together. Ezra cast him an apologetic look, at which Titan merely smiled.
“We are both in the midst of internal progress,” he informed his love gently. “There is no need for perfection all at once. All that matters is that we make attempts.”
Ezra nodded, then rested his head on Titan’s shoulder. Automatically, Titan wrapped an arm around him and drew him in tighter. With his fingers in contact with the bare skin of Ezra’s upper arm, it was quite easy to feel the waves of anxiety and uncertainty flowing through his mind.
“What has your emotions acting this way, my sweet Ezra?” he murmured into his hair. “Do you have fears? If so, you may share them with me. I always have the desire to help you, and if I cannot, then perhaps I may at least provide you with comfort.”
“I know, and I appreciate it,” Ezra said in a near-whisper. “I guess I’m just thinking about the trouble Al and Jude went through before they got their heads out of their asses and sorted their relationship out.”
“Why, and also how, were their heads inserted into?—”
“Turn of phrase, babe, don’t worry about it.”
“I do not grasp this turn of phrase,” he murmured, but Ezra either did not hear him, or decided not to comment.
Ezra continued on to say, “They weren’t on the same page about what they wanted to happen. Jude wasn’t even going to keep the kids. He was going to let Al take them all back to Darvrok 6 to raise them, ’cause he didn’t think they were compatible with Earth for the long term… and as I think about that, I’m realizing that we haven’t talked about logistics for… hell, for anything. Where will we raise the kids? What are the terms of our relationship? We don’t have the convenience of a ‘True Mate’ bond to lock us into being together forever—we have to figure everything out ourselves, and what if we want different things? What if, even though we love each other, love simply isn’t enough?”
Beneath his fingertips, Ezra’s panic was rising, and while it should have been concerning to know these fears and doubts affected him so deeply, Titan was perfectly calm. It was not that he found Ezra’s worries dismissible—he, himself, had struggled with those same terrors—but rather, it was that he knew with absolute certainty what Ezra did not. He had learned much since having met the ambassador, and now strove to conduct himself as a fallible being who was capable rather than a “know-it-all,” but in this instance, he permitted himself his presumptuousness, as he knew his thoughts on this particular matter were, in fact, undeniably correct.
“I believe it is prudent for me to tell you that your feelings are valid,” Titan said calmly, “because otherwise you may find my assertions dismissive, but you should know that I do not share your concerns.”
Ezra leaned back far enough to raise an eyebrow.
“No?” he prompted. Titan shook his head.
“No. Regardless of the composition of your DNA, Earth has always been your home, and I would not ask you to leave it. Especially not when you have had so many emotional upheavals as of late. And while Darvrok 6 may technically be my home, I am not beholden to it. My planet is where I have spent nearly all my life in ignorance of my own personal failings. It was not until Earth—not until you—that I began to know myself as I truly am. I have experienced more growth in my short time on this planet than I ever did upon my native soil.
“But,” he continued merrily, “all that said, location matters little to me. What is important is where you are. Where our offspring are. If that place is Earth, so be it, but should you later change your mind and decide you wish to explore your Darvrokian heritage via relocation to Darvrok 6, so be that as well. It would not matter to me. We could go as far as leaving our home planets behind us to forge a new path for ourselves elsewhere in the galaxy—you need only tell me which climate you desire, and I will locate a habitable planet for us in the blinking of an… in the blink of an eye.”
Ezra searched his face, and through their touch Titan feltmild apprehension.
“And what about our relationship?” he asked nervously. “I’ll be honest with you—I’ve never found the idea of ‘soulmates’ particularly interesting. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy for Jude and Al, but personally, I dunno, something about it doesn’t appeal to me. If your lover is already predestined, then there’s no work required. And I think what I’ve always needed… what would matter most to me…” He trailed off, ducking his head, as though embarrassed about what he was trying to say. But Titan understood.
“What matters to you,” he said slowly, using two fingers to gently lift Ezra’s chin so that their eyes met again, “is having a lover who has chosen you. Not because of fates written in the stars, but because they have come to know you as a person and have decided you are worth keeping. You wish to be someone’s choice.”
It was not a question, but Ezra nodded anyway, lips parted slightly and a glimmer of tears beginning to pool along his lower lash line. Numbly, affirmatively, he repeated, “I want to be someone’s choice.”
Titan smiled. “Ezra Miller—wonderful being of both human and Darvrokian blood—you will always be my choice.”
A surge of emotion spiked through their skin-to-skin connection, similar to panic, but Titan quickly recognized it for what it actually was: excitement. Excitement, a hint of disbelief…
And love.
There was definitely an abundance of love.
Ezra pressed his lips to Titan’s in a bruising kiss, and against them, whispered, “You sure know how to sweet-talk a guy… how do you say your Darvrokian name?”
