“Hmm,” Kyle hummed in thought. “Has injury occurred when you have previously mated?”
“Not as far as I am aware. This is what brings me doubt.”
Secretary of Defense Buttons meowed.
“No, human genitals are not barbed as with the males of your species,” he told her. “At least, I do not believe that is typical, although I will admit that my experience is limited.”
“Huh.” Kyle tilted his head at Titan and looked at him strangely.
“What?”
“It is perhaps of no consequence,” Kyle said. “It is just… I don’t believe I have heard you express a lack of knowledge before.”
“Ah.” Titan’s shoulders slumped, and the feeling he now recognized as shame washed over him. He had not informed Kyle of the work he had been doing to become,as Ezra would say, “less of a pretentious dickhead,” but it still disheartened him to know that this was how Kyle viewed him.
“Perhaps,” Titan said slowly, “my inability to acknowledge my flaws was a flaw in and of itself.” He looked up at Kyle earnestly. “Ezra has helped me come to understand this.”
Kyle appeared contemplative.
“I’ve always felt sympathy for you, ?.Λ.yz’Ο,” he said in their native tongue, forgoing the title of “master” as he addressed him. Titan furrowed his brow.
“Sympathy?” he asked, also switching over to Darvrokian. “I’m starting to understand just how spoiled I’ve been my whole life—why would that make you feel sympathy for me?”
“Because with that spoiling came expectations that no child should ever have to shoulder,” Kyle explained, voice soft and kind in a way it had never been before. It reminded Titan of the way Kyle spoke to Al. “Your parents—your father, especially—have had your entire life mapped out for you since the day you hatched. You’ve always seen yourself as great, but that’s because you’ve never been allowed to be anything but great. I didn’t like seeing that when you were little, and I still don’t like it now.” He smiled wistfully. “I’m glad that you have Ezra in your life to help you discover who you are without your parents’ expectations.”
Secretary of Defense Buttons jumped off Titan’s lap and meandered out of the room without a goodbye, but Titan did not pay her any mind. He shifted to face Kyle more fully. He said, in English this time, “I must give sorries to you.”
“Sorries? For what?”
“I have mistreated you in the past. I have treated you solely as a servant to our family, rather than a member of it. I have been envious of your close relationship with my siblings, particularly with Al, but I believe I am beginning to understand that it is my own actions that have prevented us from having a more familial rapport. You mean a great deal to me, and I hope that you will accept my sorries for my behavior.”
Kyle smiled warmly. He touched his two index fingers together in front of himself—a symbol of generosity in their culture—and Titan mirrored the gesture.
“I have helped to raise you through many revolutions of our suns. I care for you as much as I care for your siblings. You need not have sorries, but if you insist on offering them, then I accept them.”
Titan lowered his hands to his lap, warmth spreading through him at Kyle’s words. Part of him wanted to lament the time they had lost, but he knew it was a fruitless endeavor. Lament would never change the past, and only action could change the future. With that in mind, he decided it was best to be grateful. He had made amends with first Al, and now Kyle, and all because of Ezra.
The love he felt for the human in that increment was immense.
“Have you spoken with your father recently?” Kyle asked then, and any good feelings Titan had were outweighed by a thick wave of dread. As much love as he had for his parents, he could no longer deny that his father had caused harm to him. Kyle had even said so. All his life he had never done anything but attempt to appease his father’s wishes—and had never once thought to question them—but as his self-awareness grew, so did his resentment. His emotions toward his father were suddenly quite complicated in a way they had never been before.
“Not directly,” he said flatly. If Kyle noticed his abrupt change in demeanor, he did not mention it. “It… is possible that I have yet to mention my situation with Ezra to my parents.”
Kyle raised his eyebrows in surprise. “They do not know that you are to become a father? Ezra could deliver your clutch at any time. When are you planning to tell them?”
To be clear, he was not, in any way, shape, or form, ashamed of his relationship—whatever that relationship was—with Ezra. On the contrary, Ezra was the brightest star in his life. That being said, he had to admit that he did not relish the inevitable conversation he would need to have with his parents. They respected Ezra and thought of him as an honorable human, but as was the case for all facets of Titan’s life, they had certain expectations when it came to his future bondmate and offspring.
Expectations that would not be met when they discovered the truth: that Ezra was an offspring of the reproductive criminal known as the Great Slut.
Titan opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to think of how best to explain this to Kyle, but he gratefully came to the conclusion on his own, saying, “Ah. You are concerned that your father will disapprove of your union with Ezra. You think that he will not believe him adequate, as he is not of noble birth.”
“It is not only that he is not of noble birth,” Titan explained. “It is not even that he is part human. We must remember that he is the son of the Great Slut. This is of no consequence to me, of course, but the Great Slut’s reputation is known from the sandhills of L’l^y^zz, to the banks of the B§πT’a sea. There will be judgment to be faced and ridicule to endure once this is learned among our people. It will not bring Father pleasure to know that my offspring have slut blood.”
“Your father should not have worry over your slut offspring.” He patted Titan’s shoulder, a human gesture of comfort. “What should matter most is that their slut blood comes from the admirable and revered human ambassador to Darvrok 6—the one you have chosen to love. If your father has love for you, he will accept this.”
Titan frowned down at his own lap.
“Does he have love for me?” he asked quietly after a pause. It was a vulnerable question that left him exposed, but he found that he very much wanted an answer. “Or does he only value me when I behave greatly? Not when I am simply myself?”
