His mother sighed again and looked over at Joe, then reached across the short distance between their recliners and took his hand in hers. Turning her attention back to Ezra, she said, “Honey, I’ve known Joe for a long time.”
“That’s not possible,” he countered. “He’s only been here a week.”
“He’s only been here a weekthis time.”
“You’re saying he’s been here before?”
“We met over two decades ago,” she said, sounding somewhat wistful as she smiled at Joe like he was her entire universe. “It was back when I lived in Kansas. I was so much younger then, and I was a bit of a party girl. I went to a Halloween frat party and saw this unbelievably attractive man there dressed in a skimpy astronaut costume—you know, one of the ones women like to wear to show off some skin? Well, I thought it was so funny, and I knew I needed to get to know the man who had the guts to show up dressed like that.
“We hit it off immediately. He had this sexy foreign accent, and he was so polite and funny.” She batted her eyelashes at Joe. “One thing led to another and, well, let’s just say that I didn’t wake up alone the next morning.”
“Nope, gross, I don’t need to hear that part.”
His mother rolled her eyes, but never lost her smile. “It’s completely natural for two people who are attracted to each other to?—”
“Nope, not if you’re my mom.” Ezra made a face. “Can you give me the story without any spicy bits?”
His mother huffed, but didn’t argue, continuing on to say, “The two of us kept talking after that. He began courting me, and while he was the perfect gentleman, I couldn’t help but notice there was something… off about him. It was probably two weeks into our relationship when he finally told me the truth.
“I was shocked, of course, and didn’t believe him at first, but he convinced me and eventually I came around to the idea. It didn’t matter where he was from—I loved him. But it was complicated. We had to keep the truth hidden.”
“I was here illegally!” Joe said with a grin, adding to the story for the first time.
“That’s right, dear,” Ezra’s mother agreed, lacing their fingers together. “I finished up college, and the two of us moved out to a farm, where there wouldn’t be any close neighbors who might accidentally learn the truth. We lived there peacefully for a few years… but then the Darvrokian government caught up with us, and he was taken into custody and deported.”
“I was an intergalactic criminal!” Joe beamed. “My people had been searching for me for many Earth years. Before I met Human Martha, I too was a ‘party animal.’ Earth was not the first planet I had visited without the proper paperwork, and Human Martha was not the first being I had gotten down and dirty with, if you know what I am saying.”
“Oh,” Kyle said suddenly with dawning realization. “I recognize who you are. You are S’^?ko’q, are you not?”
Joe nodded enthusiastically. “This is correct, my man.”
“S’^?ko’q?” Titan asked, sounding surprised. “I was very young when you were apprehended, but I learned about you in my studies. You bred many beings across the galaxy, and are the reason why there are restrictions on the number of planets Darvrokians are allowed to visit within a Darvrokian year. You have a name on our planet, although I do not know how to translate it.” He looked over at Kyle, who pondered it for a moment.
“The Great Slut,” Kyle said finally. “I believe that is how you would say this in English.”
“Yes, the Great Slut, this is accurate,” Titan agreed,and Joe nodded happily.
“Correct!” he said. “I am the greatest of all sluts.” He looked at Ezra’s mother with a soft expression. “But when I came to Earth, I learned to be a slut for only one.”
Ezra was beginning to put pieces together, and the picture they formed was making him queasy. Joe, apparently, used to go planet hopping to hook up with other aliens. He’d met Ezra’s mother over two decades ago. They had lived together for several years in rural Kansas.
“Mom,” Ezra said slowly. “Is Joe… is Joe my biological father?”
A ringing silence followed. All eyes were on him.
Finally, his mother said, “I’m sorry I never told you, but how could I have explained it? You would have never believed me.”
“Oh my god.” Ezra bent forward and rested his forehead on his knees. This was… this was completely and totally insane.
“I have sorries for not being in your life, Ezra, my man,” he heard Joe say. “I did not wish to leave you, but I had no choice. When I was released from detention and heard that Earth was accepting tourists, I very quickly created a new identity as Joe Johnson. I did this because I wished to see you again.”
The corners of Ezra’s eyes pricked with tears. For the majority of his life, he had assumed that his father had walked out on him because he hadn’t wanted him. Now, his entire worldview was being flipped upside down. Not only had his father actually wanted him, but that also meant?—
“Wait,” he said, popping back up, startling everyone. “If you’re my dad, then that means… Holy shit, I’m half Darvrokian.”
Beside him, Titan mumbled a soft, “Oh.”
Ezra looked at him and saw his expression to be one of disappointment. He smiled at Ezra, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
