“No, I mean—it’s an expression. It means ‘go ahead and tell me.’”
“Oh. Of course. I know this.” Titan cleared his throat—a decidedly human action he had gotten into the habit of doing—and shot. “Ambassador Ezra and I mated and I believe I now have love for him, but I do not know how to get him to have love for me in return.”
Human Corbin’s eyebrows flew to his hairline and his mouth dropped open. He said, in a high-pitched squeal, “Oh-em-gee! You’re lying. Tell me you’re fucking lying! You did not seriously sleep with Ezra, did you?”
“No, I have not had unconsciousness with Ezra. He makes me leave his room after we mate so that he may have unconsciousness alone.”
“Ugh, no, I mean—sleeping with someone is another way of saying you had sex with them.”
“Yes… I knew this.”
“Uh-huh, sure, honey.” Corbin curled a finger around a lock of his messy hair and surveyed Titan closely. “So you got Mr. I’m-Done-With-Men-Forever to get down and dirty with you, huh? Can’t say I blame him—your disguise could give Al’s a run for his money.”
“To the best of my knowledge, money is inanimate and cannot run, and my human disguise is very much better than my brother’s. If they were not True Mates, I would not be surprised if Jude felt more attraction toward my human body than his, as it is much more beautiful.”
“Ooh, testy testy. I’m not touching those family dynamics with a ten-foot pole. But that’s not why you’re here, anyway, is it? You’re here because you caught feelings for a guy who swore off dating years ago.” At Titan’s squint, he clarified, “You fell in love with him.”
“This is correct.” Titan blew out a melodramatic sigh and allowed his body to sink further into the couch. “Human Corbin, why does Ezra detest romantic entanglements? He is very adamant about it.”
“Hmm, well, he had a really shitty boyfriend who was a total douche to him, and to get over him he tried to rebound with a string of equally shitty boy toys—real egotistical assholes—and I think now he’s just convinced that he’s never going to find someone who’s worth the time of day and because of that has decided commitment just isn’t his thing.”
“But he has found someone! He has foundme,and I am excellent and worth all the times of the day. And there are many of them.”
Human Corbin tapped his lower lip with his index finger and hummed doubtfully.
Titan frowned. “Do you not believe this to be true?”
“I mean,” he said, elongating the word. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not exactly the most humble creature in the universe, and if there’s one thing Ezra values, it’s humility.”
Titan considered this.
“I can be humble,” he said decisively. “I can be the best at being humble. If I tell Ezra that I have mastered being humble, do you believe that he will have love for me?”
“Oh boy,” Human Corbin muttered under his breath. “How about this—you’re really great, right? The best at everything and all that?”
“This is obvious.”
“Uh-huh. Well, what if instead of talking about how fantastic you are all the time, you instead treat Ezra like he’s as great as you consider yourself to be.”
This gave Titan pause.
“Explain,” he said.
“Ezra doesn’t need reminding that you’re the bee’s knees.” Titan chose not to question this nonsensical use of English and allowed Human Corbin to continue. “If you’re really as great as you say you are, then he’ll know it just by being with you. What Ezra needs is for you to show him that you thinkhe’sgreat. You do think he’s great, don’t you?”
“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “Ezra is the best human on Earth. He is beautiful, humorous, an excellent ambassador, and very good at fuck?—”
“Gonna stop you there, buddy,” Human Corbin interrupted. “I don’t need to hear you gush about all your lovey-dovey feelings—save that for him. Treat him how you’d like to be treated. It’s the golden rule. We learn that shit in kindergarten.”
“In the kindergarten equivalent on my planet, we learn calculus.”
“Hate that for you, babe, but do you get what I’m saying? Just be kind and romantic and you’ll have Ezra eating out of the palm of your hand.”
Titan considered it. He did not necessarily want to hand-feed Ezra, but if that was the cost of earning his love, so be it. “I believe I am beginning to understand,” he said tentatively. “I will begin informing Ezra of his greatness immediately. It will be no trouble, as he truly is an extraordinary being. However, what shall I do to be romantic? I am not familiar with Earth customs in regards to romance.”
“You know, just the basic stuff. Give him flowers now and again. Take him on a fancy dinner date. Look him in the eye and tell him how much he means to you.”
“And if I do these things, he will have love for me?”
