Should not Kyle have fondness for him, rather than professional distance?
It caused him to feel extremely unpleasant.
Perhaps he should order Kyle to conduct himself in a more friendly manner toward him, although something about that did not seem right, either…
“I wasn’t aware that—” Kyle stopped mid-sentence, seeming to realize that he was speaking in Darvrokian. He mumbled an apology to Ezra, then tried again in English. “I was not aware that you would be arriving so soon. Please to be understanding that had I known, I would have prepared for you a proper welcome. My sincerest sorries, Master Titan.”
Ezra snorted. “Master Titan? You don’t call Al ‘Master Al.’”
“Al is… Al is different,” Kyle said, glancing at Titan from his bowed-head position and giving a sheepish smile. “Titan prefers a certain level of respect from his subordinates, and I have happiness to oblige.”
The unpleasantness continued. Titan glanced from Kyle to Ezra, who looked highly unimpressed, and felt his insides begin to prickle like they had so many times during the bonding ceremony. He got the feeling that it was possible he was currently making a bad impression, although he was not entirely sure how.
“You do not have to be so professional with me, Kyle,” he said, watching Ezra’s face for his reaction. “You may become relaxed in my presence.”
Ezra folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow at him, which did not help Titan ascertain whether or not this was the proper course of action. He had really expected to make a better entrance than this. What was it about this human that made him doubt himself so much?
“Oh… yes. Of course. All right.” Kyle frowned and very hesitantly dropped his hands to his sides. His human body was quite large, but he somehow made it look small as he retook his seat, almost as though he were a hatchling who feared being reprimanded for his actions. It was strange to see Kyle act as a peer rather than a subordinate, but it made the prickling inside Titan lessen. Better yet, it caused Ezra’s expression to shift just slightly toward approval, which made the awkwardness worth it.
If he continued to act in this manner, perhaps he would see Ezra smile again.
“How was your journey, Master Titan?” Kyle asked once he was seated. He could not seem to decide whether he was allowed to make eye contact with Titan or not, and kept flitting his gaze between Titan’s face and the space above his head.
Titan sighed a little more than was necessary. “Arduous.” He pulled out a chair of his own and slumped down into it like he was suddenly so exhausted, remaining upright was impossible. “The fault of this misfortune is not due to my ship, as it is the newest model available and quite comfortable, but rather the fault of the Earth governments. It was not as it was during the bonding ceremony. Upon my arrival, many hostile humans in matching disguises surrounded my location and demanded I board their very bad motorized box.”
Ezra snorted in laughter. “You mean the armored transport vehicle?”
Titan scrunched his nose. “‘Vehicle’ is a generous word for such a thing. It does not even have en-route entertainment.”
“I could lend you my Game Boy.”
“I do not wish to play games with boys, Ambassador,” Titan said, lifting his gaze to look Ezra in the eyes, only to find Ezra would not look at him. “I only wish to play with y?—”
“Youuuuu guys want some coffee?” Ezra asked, springing to his feet with unusual enthusiasm. He practically sprinted across the room to a counter upon which sat a black plastic receptacle into which had been placed a glass pot. Inside the pot was a black liquid that resembled the ink excreted by Sticky Legged Sea Beings during times of great hardship. Or, more often, during times when they wished to be dicks.
To Titan’s great horror, Ezra poured the excrement water into a mug and took a swig.
“It’s not excrement,” Kyle whispered in Darvrokian, no doubt picking up on Titan’s disgust if not through his limited telepathic abilities, then by his own intuition. “The Sticky Legged Sea Beings did indeed settle this planet as they did ours, and many have found success as entertainers, appearing in human motion pictures such asMy Octopus Teacher, in which one unsuccessfully attempts to teach a human the techniques necessary to develop interstellar travel, but it seems they keep mostly to themselves. As far as I’m aware, humans do not harvest their ink and tend to leave them alone.”
“Then what’s in the mug?” Titan whispered back.
“As best I can tell, it’s a torture device derived from seeds. The bitter taste keeps humans awake when they would rather be asleep, such as while performing mentally taxing or extremely boring jobs.”
“Barbaric,” Titan muttered in rapt appreciation.
Kyle nodded. “I enjoy humanity’s blatant disregard for their own happiness very much.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Ezra asked from his position by the counter. He cradled the mug full of torture in his hands. “Do you guys want coffee, or…?”
“No, thank you very much please,” Kyle replied.
Titan nodded. “No, thank you very much please as well.”
“Your loss.” Ezra shrugged and downed the rest of the mug, then poured himself a second cup. Had Titan not previously been made aware of what a great being he was, this would have confirmed it. His appreciation for Ezra grew. He would have this mighty human who bore his own suffering as if it were pleasure, and together they would…
Well, he wasn’t sure what they would do, but he was sure whatever they did end up doing would be great.
“Security got tight after the wedding,” Ezra explained, leaning on the counter as he sipped his liquid torment. “There was some kind of weird worm or something that almost got out? It was a big deal. RealTremorsvibes. The US government got pissy—like, more than usual—and sent out a bunch of dudes with guns dressed like the Men in Black to make sure no one was smuggling any weird alien creatures onto the planet. I told them it was no big deal because like, if there’s anywhere an alien creature could get set loose, New Mexico’s probably the best place it could have happened since it’s the UFO capitol of the world, and there are already so many conspiracy theories floating around, what harm could another one do, but they didn’t want to listen to me. So now we’ve got full security teams running the place. Picking up visitors. Hell, even driving me to and from my place, like I’m on house arrest or something.” He made a face that had nothing to do with his beverage. “But they won’t hook me up with my own Men in Black team to protect me while I’m on the job. It’s seriously not cool, man. No offense, Kyle. You’re doing great. It just sucks knowing my own people are hoping if they ignore me, I’ll end up alien worm food.”
