“I do,” Al assured him. Perhaps that was what Jude was missing—reassurance. “Now that I have experienced what it is like to have a True Mate, I know that I will not feel desire for a different union. However, do not feel guilt, Jude. I will have our offspring to care for. I will feel love for them, and will work in the mines, and my life will be adequate.”
“Adequate.” Jude repeated the word like it tasted disgusting. “I don’t want your life to just beadequate, Al. You deserve so much more than that.”
Al wasn’t sure what else to tell him. Jude sounded as though he felt desire for Al to state he would find a new bondmate, but Al knew for a fact he would not, and he certainly wasn’t going to lie.
He said, not unkindly, “Jude, I do not feel anger toward you for your decision, but you do not feel desire to be bonded, and I do not feel desire to be bonded with a mate who does not want me.”
Jude looked as though Al had physically slapped him in the face.
“That’s not—it’s not that I don’t want…” He trailed off, shutting his eyes tight, his expression one of conflict. He blinked his eyes back open and then held out his hand. In a quiet voice, he said, “I don’t know how to say what I’m feeling, so I need you to feel it for me instead.”
It took Al an increment of time to realize that Jude was asking him to telepathically read his emotions. Hesitating only briefly, Al took Jude’s hand in his and hardly had to concentrate at all before he was awash in an emotion so intense, for a few Mississippis, his vision went white. The air left his lungs, and Al’s human heart began to beat with worrying rapidity.
When he recovered, all he could think to say was, “Jude…”
“I don’t want your life to just be adequate,” Jude murmured, lips trembling. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself severing the bond. I want you to behappy.”
“You feel… Jude, this emotion you feel…” Al couldn’t bring himself to voice it, just in case it wasn’t true, but he didn’t have to.
“I’m in love with you,” Jude whispered, and his voice broke. The tears that had threatened to fall earlier now slid down his cheeks, and Al reached out to brush them away without a second thought, his whole mind blank as Jude leaned into the touch.
“I feel love for you, too, Jude,” Al whispered back. “But the bond, our offspring, these are still complications.”
Jude shook his head.
“No.” He glanced down at their eggs and another surge of love pulsed through their telepathic connection. “They’re not complications.”
Jude tugged Al to him gently, and Al went willingly, allowing himself to be kissed soundly for nearly a full minute, his heart beating double time in his chest. Jude seemed to be suggesting everything that Al had felt hope for, but he still hadn’t said it explicitly, so as wonderful as Al felt in Jude’s arms, he forced himself to pull away and gave Jude a steady look.
“What are you saying, Jude?” he asked.
“I’m saying,” Jude said without any degree of uncertainty, “that I need you to stay.”
Tears sprang to Al’s own eyes now, but he wasn’t feeling sadness. On the contrary, nothing had ever felt more right.
“I didn’t know,” he told Jude, “that tears could be happy.”
And, both wet with tears, they came together and kissed again.
23
Jude
Jude would have figured that his whole life changing in the span of one split-second decision would have made him stressed and nervous—most things made him stressed and nervous—but instead, with Al curled up beside him in their makeshift nest, he felt calmer than he had in… honestly? Maybe ever.
Al hadn’t stopped staring adoringly at him for the past half-hour, and it should have been getting creepy, except Jude knew he was making the same mushy-gushy, gooey eyes right back at him. They both knew that the others were going to come back into the room sooner rather than later, but for now the two of them were content to enjoy each other’s company in comfortable, sweet silence for as long as it lasted.
“What thoughts are currently occupying your mind?” Al asked, enamored. He was caressing Jude’s arm up and down, and Jude was lost in the sensation. Jude didn’t know how the bond worked beyond the basics that Al had explained to him, but he wanted to believe that some of the elation he was feeling wasn’t just his own.
“I’m thinking about how this should be a lot bigger deal than it is,” he answered. When Al arched a brow, he clarified, “I don’t mean it’s not important. Deciding to be with you and the—the kids, wow, I’m gonna be a dad, that’s a new thought, I’ll come back to that one—is the singular most important thing that’s ever happened to me. What I meant is that I’m surprised that I’m not scared.”
“What are you feeling in lieu of feelings of fear?” Al asked, pausing his caressing in order to play idly with a lock of Jude’s hair.
“Happy,” Jude said without hesitation. “I feel happy. I don’t think I realized how much I didn’t want you to go until you weren’t going anymore. Are you, um…” Jude twisted his mouth, wanting to ask the question, but uncertain if he really wanted the answer. “Are you sure you’re okay with staying on Earth? I know it’s not like, your favorite planet or whatever.”
“Jude,” Al said in a tone that very clearly conveyed the sentiment “you sweet, beautiful idiot.” “I do not care where we are located, just as long as we are located in the same place.”
“Even if that place is Earth?”
