“What bo—” Jude started, but Al cut him off, saying,
“Ourbond. How do you not feel it, Jude? I feel understanding that you do not possess telepathy, but I thought maybe, due to the nature of our relationship, you would be capable of feeling what I feel, if not during casual skin-to-skin touches, then certainly when we mate. And we mate with frequency. Are you saying that each time we have mated, all you have felt is physical satisfaction and nothing more?”
God, Al seemed so distraught, and Jude was so lost. Was this some sort of “catching feelings for a friends-with-benefits” situation? That was flattering and all—it wasn’t every day that an alien got the hots for you—but given where this conversation had begun, Al’s feelings for Jude weren’t exactly the priority at the moment.
“Look, we can talk about that, but first I need to know what you meant when you said that I was—when you said that thing you said earlier, about what’s happening to me.”
“Youconsented!” Al said, teetering on the edge of hysteria. “You instructed me to stay inside and deposit my seed, and when we mated in the shower, you specifically told me to fertilize you. I felt certainty you said this because you felt understanding about our bond—and before you question its existence, I know that I am correct, and that it is truly there. Your body would not have changed to produce eggs if I—”
“Yeah, no, pause right there.” Jude pointed at Al. “Eggs. You said eggs again. That’s the part I would like to focus on, please.”
Al thunked his head back against the wall in exasperation. “Our offspring, Jude,” he said, strained, like he was one thread away from ripping apart. Jude could relate. “Our first night together as mates, your body changed and produced eggs, which I then fertilized. Can you not feel them?Ican feel them. When we touch, I can tell that you are not alone in your body. You are making life inside of you, Jude. Why does this make you feel unhappiness? This is a beautiful thing that we have created together.”
Jude stared blankly into the middle distance for several long seconds, the reality of the situation finally beginning to kick in. He tried desperately to channel his usual “I guess this is happening, might as well go with it” attitude, but he was finding it hard to summon at the moment. Unconsciously, he raised a hand to his belly and pressed at the small lump that had formed there. It had been so easy to write off as bloating or the result of too many potato chips, but now as he felt it beneath his palm, he couldn’t pretend it was anything else than what it clearly was. He knew then, without a doubt, that there was no language barrier or miscommunication happening here—he was pregnant, plain and simple.
“Oh my fucking god,” he muttered. Another wave of nausea hit him, but he fought it back. Swallowing the bitter taste in his mouth, he managed to croak out, “What’s going to happen to me?”
“In roughly one Earth month you will deliver the eggs, and then I will assist you in caring for them until they hatch,” Al said, like it was reasonable and not the most absurd thing Jude had ever heard in his entire fucking life.
“You keep saying eggsplural. How many are inside me?”
Al hemmed and hawed, which was not remotely reassuring.
“I cannot feel the exact number of offspring that you are carrying, but I come from a clutch of thirteen.”
“Thirteen?” That particular wave of nausea was much harder to control.
“Correct. Eleven sisters, my brother, and myself. A strange distribution. I would not expect our clutch to have such a high number of females—not that I would feel unhappiness if it did. I will feel affection toward all of our daughters and sons, no matter how many of each there are.”
Clutch. Daughters. Sons. There sure were a lot of words being casually slung around as if they weren’t melting Jude’s brain into slop. Was this what Al felt when he was berating the English language? Because Jude was certainly not a fan.
“Am I going to get bigger?” He still hadn’t moved his hand away, the hard bump of what was apparently his fuckingoffspringmesmerizing him, and not in a pleasant way. “Are people going to notice?”
“Your midsection will become bigger, but not the same size as if you were carrying human offspring. I do not know if others will notice. Does the prospect of this make you feel displeasure? It should not. Your womb is providing safety to our eggs while they mature. This is something that causes me to feel very much envy.”
“Then why the hell am I the one stuck with this? If you’re so envious, why aren’t you the one who’s pr—” He couldn’t say the word out loud. Threading the fingers of his free hand through his hair and tugging in budding hysteria, Jude muttered, “I’m a fucking circus freak.”
“Why are you feeling such shame, Jude?” Al asked earnestly, which made Jude bark a humorless laugh.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Al, but human males don’t make a habit of laying eggs. Hell, humans in general don’t make a habit of it. This isn’t normal.I’mnot normal, and it’s all your…” He trailed off, cutting himself off before he got angry again. This time when he took a breath, it was shaky and uneven. He blew it out and asked, “Is it going to hurt?”
“The delivery?”
“Yeah.”
“From what I have learned about how humans experience pain, I feel unhappiness at telling you that yes, it will most likely hurt. But it is a temporary pain, and I will be there to assist you through it. And at the end of it we will have our offspring, and once they hatch, you and I will decide where we feel desire to live to raise them.”
Finally removing his hand from his stomach, Jude pressed the base of his palms against his eyes until he saw stars. The next part of this conversation was not going to be pleasant, which was saying something, because the conversation up to this point hadn’t exactly been sunshine and roses.
“Al,” he said, letting his arms drop like weights onto his bent knees, “I can’t—I can’t be what you want me to be.”
Al tilted his head to the side the way he did when he didn’t understand something, and usually it was cute, but not today. Today it just made Jude feel dread at having to explain this even further.
“You are already ‘what I want you to be,’” Al said, doing what was perhaps his first proper use of air quotes since Corbin taught him what they were at the library two Tuesdays ago. “You are my True Mate.”
It was Jude’s turn to tilt his head.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
