“I do not know what words I am saying incorrectly,” Al said, feeling frustrated at their language barrier. “I am referring to our eggs. You know, the ones we fertilized together during our mating?”
“Um, fucking no I do not know about the eggs we fertilized together during our mating,” Jude said, looking stricken. “Al. Are you—I mean, your species can’t like—you’re not pregnant or something, are you?”
Al squinted at Jude, feeling uncertainty at his bizarre behavior.
“Of course not, Jude,” he said, shaking his head with a short, disbelieving snort.
“Oh. Right. Duh. Stupid of me to even ask.” Jude laughed, too, looking visibly relieved, and Al laughed along with him.
“Agreed, it was a foolish question.” He smiled pleasantly at his love. “I am not pregnant.Youare.”
12
Jude
“I’m sorry, what?” Jude asked, certain he had misheard. Or misunderstood. Or mis-somethinged, because what Al had just said did not make one lick of sense.
“Jude, are you being intentionally unintelligent? You usually have at least the average amount of knowledge as other human beings, so I am beginning to wonder if this is some attempt at humor?”
“Yeah, no, I’m not being funny, Al. I have no idea what you’re talking about. I think there must be some sort of language barrier situation happening. You know what pregnant means, right? When a person grows a baby inside of their body?”
“Yes, Jude, I am aware of the definition.” Al appeared to be growing frustrated. “And that is what you’re doing. You are growing our offspring inside of your human body.”
Jude blinked at Al.
“No I’m not,” he said.
Al blinked back. “Yes, you are.”
Jude wasn’t exactlypanickingyet—there was the definite possibility that something was getting lost in translation—but hewasgetting a bit of a nagging feeling in the back of his head that was reminding him that if he, Jude Adler, mediocre college student extraordinaire, was the first human being to make first contact with an alien, then, well, anything could be possible.
Anything.
He said, unintentionally frantic, “Explain. Right this second, explain what thefuckyou’re talking about, because I promise you I’m not joking when I say that I don’t understand.”
Al looked absolutely bewildered. For a moment he didn’t say or do anything. Then, slowly, he reached over and gently took Jude by the wrist. Jude, who was too rattled to react in any sort of meaningful way, allowed Al to lift up his arm and guide his hand to his belly. Hisbloatedbelly. His belly that had been bloated for what felt like a couple months now. His belly that had begun to get a definite roundness to it lately.
But that was understandable, wasn’t it? He’d been stress eating like crazy, which was a perfectly rational response to have, because as much as he liked Al, keeping your new alien friend a secret from the rest of the world was really, really stressful. Of course he’d put on a couple pounds. Of course he’d have indigestion. Literally who wouldn’t have those things, if they were in his shoes.
But then Al said, “Can you not feel the changes in your human body as our eggs grow?” and Jude’s brain broke.
“Al,” he said in a harsh whisper, “what did you do to me?”
“I am not comprehending your feeling of confusion, Jude. You have spoken of this pregnancy on many occasions.” Al was still holding Jude’s hand so that he was touching his belly.
“When? Name one single time I haveeversaidanythingabout—aboutthat.” Jude’s anxiety was mounting, and it was turning his words sharp. Al flinched a little at his tone, but Jude was too overcome with stronger emotions to feel badly about it.
“You said during the morning today that you have had to ‘let your belt out,’ and explained to me that this is what humans do when they become fat. You have spoken of digestive distress and fatigue. You said to me that you have been feeling hunger with more frequency. These are all because of the pregnancy, yes?”
“Dude,no,” Jude snapped, and Al recoiled, pulling his hand back.
“Why are you speaking to me like this, Jude? Your words usually have kindness in them.”
“I’m talking like this because you’re sitting here fucking telling me I’m—” He cut himself off, cognizant of Ezra in the other room as his voice began to rise. Instead, he climbed over Al to get out of bed and went across the room where he had a wobbly, dirty full-length mirror propped against the wall. He turned to the side and examined himself.
He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, which he’d bought the Tuesday prior because all his others were becoming too tight. He pulled the waistband down just below his pelvic bone and pressed the palm of his hand against the small swell of a bump that had formed beneath his belly button. It wasn’t jiggly like fat, but instead solid and firm.It’s just bloating, it’s just bloating, it’s just…
“You are observing the growth of our offspring,” Al said, silencing Jude’s mantra. “I do not feel understanding as to how you would not have noticed these changes in your human form before now. You are certain that this is not a practical joke?”
