“When I was a youth, my brother felt anger toward me because I accidentally broke one of his possessions, so in order to make me feel fear, he told me that he would hide baby Sand Dwellers in my room to inject me with their venom, and because of this I did not have nightly unconsciousness for approximately 172,800 Mississippis,” Al said, frowning at the memory. He blinked himself out of his thoughts and found Corbin and Jude staring at him with expressions that were equal parts sympathy and confusion.
“The fuck is a Sand Dweller?” Corbin asked.
“He means scorpion,” Jude answered, and gave Al a pointed look. Al grimaced at his mistake.
“Yes, scorpion, that is the correct creature,” he assured Corbin quickly.
Corbin glanced between Al and Jude, then shrugged. “Well, both of your brothers sound like dicks.” He unzipped his backpack and produced a folder that he handed over to Al. “Anyways, there you go! Everything you need to convince the school you’re definitely a student here and not just some hot Greek illegally trying to steal an American education.”
Al began riffling through the documents inside the folder, and Jude leaned in to peer over his shoulder, his nearness and body heat giving Al pleasure. The documents included forged admissions papers, transcripts from classes Al had never taken, something called a “student visa,” and a university identification card attached to a lanyard with tiny rainbows on it. He immediately put the lanyard on and examined it closely.
“I feel enjoyment about this,” he said, meaning the lanyard.
“Yeah, even I have to admit that you know your shit, Corbin. This is all really good,” Jude said, meaning the documents.
“Yes, yes, I’m amazing.” Corbin smirked. “Save the applause.”
“Do not feel concern, I was not intending to applaud,” Al assured him, still playing with the lanyard. Jude snorted, although Al was not sure what was funny.
“Whatever,” Corbin said with another impressive eye roll. He stood, zipped his backpack up, and slung it over his shoulder. “I expect full payment as soon as you get paid, by the way.”
“Don’t I get a friends and family discount or something?” Jude asked.
“Joke’s on you, I charge my friends and family extra. Ta-ta!” Corbin turned on his heel and started to walk away.
“Goodbye, dude!” Al called after him. In response, Corbin turned around just quickly enough to kiss the tips of his fingers and then blow through pursed lips in Al’s direction. Al did not understand this gesture, but mimicked it anyway to avoid being rude.
“Don’t blow kisses to Corbin. If you humor him, he’ll never leave you alone,” Jude grumbled, grabbing Al’s hand to snatch it away from his mouth. Al was immediately inundated with the complicated mess of Jude’s emotions. There were sparks of annoyance, jealousy, and affection. There was also discomfort from his upset stomach, as well as fatigue. Al was looking forward to when they could solidify their bond permanently. When that happened, he would no longer have to struggle to parse out bits and pieces of Jude’s feelings—he would be able to read them as clearly as he could read his own.
“You are fatigued, and your carbonated beverage is not decreasing the discomfort in your stomach,” Al said softly. “You had said that perhaps it would be good to do research today about materials I will need for building my communication device, but perhaps instead, since we have obtained the documents and also this very good necklace from your human friend Corbin, we can go to your home and have daytime unconsciousness, and after you can show me more Earth entertainment programs.”
Jude searched Al’s face quizzically for a long increment of time. “How did you—” he murmured, but then shook his head, not finishing the thought. Instead, he said, “That sounds really, really nice, actually. Let’s say fuck it for the rest of the day.”
They gathered their things and walked through the length of the library, passing several humans who were using their computers or reading books. Jude made Al put the dictionary back, but promised he would find him another one he could keep all to himself, which made Al’s insides flutter again.
“You know, you don’t have to wear that,” Jude mentioned when they got to his car. He pointed at Al’s lanyard. “Just make sure you have your ID on you when you’re on campus. Most people keep theirs in their pocket or something.”
“I will consider this,” Al said, but he gripped the end of the lanyard in his fist, as though concerned Jude was going to take it away. It was his favorite clothing item on the entirety of Earth, and he had no intention of taking it off.
* * *
“Argh, what the fuck?!” Jude exclaimed, jumping several inches and—cosmos above—Al didnothave it in him to even bother with the stupidity of how humans measured things. Al looked down at the ground to see what had caused Jude to feel such panic, and what he saw was a small, white, four-legged fluffy thing with a tail.
“It is a creature,” he observed.
“It’s a cat. Why is there a cat in my house?” Jude asked. Then, louder, he repeated, “Whyis there acatin myhouse?!”
At the sound of Jude’s yelling, Ezra poked his head out of the kitchen doorway.
“Oh, you’re back.” He came into the living room, a carbonated beverage in his hand. He gestured at the creature—thecat, as Jude had called it—and said, “Her name is Buttons.”
Buttons had a considerable amount of white fluff on her body and tail, with three dots of black fur in a vertical line down the front of her chest. Al crouched down so that he was level with her. He held out a hand and said, “Nice to meet you, dude.”
Buttons came over and bumped her head against Al’s outstretched hand, then rubbed her entire body against his leg, which was a much more elaborate greeting than was traditional for humans. Different customs, Al assumed, and leaned down to bump his head against hers in order to be polite. She responded by flopping down onto her back, belly exposed, and making a rumbling sound that reminded Al of the engine in Jude’s car.
“Okay, cool, her name’s Buttons. Why the fuck is Buttons in our house?” Jude asked.
Al frowned up at him. It wasn’t like him to be so rude.
