KnotMyProblem: This is my story
KnotMyProblem: Anyway, it might not have been stormy, but it was definitely night. Imagine, if you will, a house full of babies
TeenDad2: You make it sound like it's a bad thing
KnotMyProblem: I do not. I just said a house full of babies. What's so bad about that?
KnotMyProblem: So this house full of babies has descended into chaos. There are small babies who can't walk or talk yet, bigger babies who can walk and kind of talk, but not really, and children who can both walk, talk, and get up to mischief
Gwynning: The whole child development thing doesn't go from babies to children. There are toddlers, too
KnotMyProblem: Eh, babies gets the point across
KnotMyProblem: So, to sum things up, a house full of babies of all ages and children
KnotMyProblem: Poor, sweet Matthew is tending to the littlest ones, which means it's up to me to wrangle all the ones who can walk and get themselves into trouble
KnotMyProblem: And on this particular night, for whatever reason, everyone's going batshit crazy. Kids are running down the hall, up and down the stairs, from room to room, and all of them are laughing and screaming and generally being difficult to manage
KnotMyProblem: And what's worse, they're all stressing out poor Placenty
TeenDad2: I still can't believe that you named your cat Placenty
Gwynning: I think it's a kind of exposure therapy
KnotMyProblem: ANYWAY, so there's Placenty, hiding behind my legs while potentially feral children run to and fro. I figured that if I couldn't control the children, I could at least comfort my cat
KnotMyProblem: So I produce my keys, which are bound together by a laser pointer keychain, and try to get Placenty interested in the red dot
TeenDad2: this part still makes me laugh
KnotMyProblem: Well, Placenty wasn't having any of it, but all of a sudden our own xV's son, Isaac, comes to a halt and looks at that dot like he's never seen something so interesting before.
KnotMyProblem: In seconds, a swarm of little kids surrounds me, all craning their necks to get a look at this red dot. When I flick it down the hall, they all gasp and race after it. When I flick it toward the ceiling, all of them start jumping to try to catch it
KnotMyProblem: And that's when I knew I'd found it
KnotMyProblem: The secret to keeping small children entertained
KnotMyProblem: LASER POINTERS
TeenDad2: I'm dying
KnotMyProblem: When the little kids disappeared, the big kids came to see what was going on and discovered my brilliance. They thought it was as hilarious as I did. So I passed the laser pointer off to them and supervised to make sure no one would go blind. They wore each other out in no time, passed out, and I spent the rest of the night snuggled up with Matthew watching a movie while a horde of tiny children slumbered on assorted pieces of furniture
Gwynning: … so you're saying your best babysitting tip is to teach children how to do evil
KnotMyProblem: Yes.
xVerity: Nikki saved up her allowance to buy a laser pointer, and now when she's done her homework, she spends hours keeping Isaac and Charlotte entertained.
KnotMyProblem: I should write a parenting book
TeenDad2: LOL
KnotMyProblem: What?
TeenDad2: Sorry, I'm just thinking about the title
