404: Nadja leaked your info
Mimi: Impossible
404: Yespossible
Mimi: Nadja once beat a man with her shoe in defense of my honor
Mimi: One time, she walked through no less than ten potholes of indeterminate size in the rain to bring me a can of chicken noodle soup
Mimi: If I had a hat and it turned out that Nadja was the one who leaked my private info, I would eat it
404: I know your rival has a micropeen, but maybe she’s into it. People do weird, greasy things for love
Mimi: Not Nadja
Mimi: Nadja would sooner lick a penny off the subway floor than betray me
404: even if he paid her?
Mimi: …
404: what if he let her lick FIVE dirty pennies?
Mimi: I refuse to believe she would betray me for love or money. She’s a better person than that
404: Then the only other possibility is that he installed remote access software on your work computer
Mimi: What?
404: Remote access software
404: It creates a bridge between PCs that enables you to access one machine through the other
Mimi: Witchcraft
404: If you’ve left your computer unlocked and unattended, it’s a possibility
404: or it could have been installed if you recently had it serviced by an IT guy your douche nozzle is paying under the table
Mimi: FUCK SHIT DAMN
404: I can take care of it
404: It’s not going to take me all night, though. It’s probably not going to take me more than half a Monster’s worth of work
Mimi: Oh, no, that’s not what I was messaging you about
Mimi: although if you could take care of it, that’d be great
404: of course. What else is up?
Mimi: So I had this epiphany while I was snuggling my boy tonight
Mimi: (not a word)
404: I’d never blab
Mimi: and it occurred to me that I’ve had something backward this whole time
