Matthew’s heart fluttered. With Jason, everything from a simple misunderstanding to Emily’s conception had been his fault. Nothing Matthew could do was ever enough. Even now, four years after they’d last seen each other, Matthew still clung to that mindset—that he was to blame, that he was horrible, and that he’d never get it right. But Damien took that pain from him. With him, Matthew was safe. “Daddy…”
The word parted from his lips naturally, but it resonated in Matthew like nothing else had. It was comfort where before, there’d only been fear. It was a safety net on the ground below, sure to catch him should he fall. Matthew had called Damien Daddy through text, but it was different now to say it to his face—to look into his loving gray eyes and commit to the man who wanted nothing but the best for him. It made Matthew feel loved, and by extension, powerful.
Even should he make the gravest mistake, his Daddy would be there to make things right.
“I’m here, baby,” Damien affirmed as if reading Matthew’s thoughts. He lifted Matthew’s chin a fraction of an inch more and brushed their lips together. “I’m here and I’m going to make things better. I promise. All you have to do is be good. You can do that for me, can’t you?”
“Yes.” Matthew’s eyelids fluttered shut. He kissed Damien sweetly, hungering for his touch, but wanting to prove how good he could be. When he spoke next, he did so in a whisper. “I’ll be good for you, Daddy. I’ll be so good.”
“I know you will.” Damien kissed him in the same sweet way as before, then took his hand from Matthew’s cheek. His fingertips trailed down Matthew’s side. When they came to the hem of Matthew’s V-neck tee, they curled beneath the fabric and started to lift. Electrified by his touch, Matthew watched as Damien exposed his flat, pale belly, then the tapered cut of his waist and the barely there lines of his ribs. “And I promise,” Damien said, “that I’ll always be good to you, too.”
With a gentle tug, Damien lifted Matthew’s shirt higher. Matthew, eager to be obedient, lifted his arms so Damien could pull it over his head. Cotton brushed by his cheek and ruffled his hair, then, with a final tug, parted from his body. The shirt landed somewhere across the room—Matthew heard it crumple, but didn’t see where it fell. He didn’t have a chance. Damien’s lips captured his and the rest of the world disappeared.
It had almost been two months since they’d last found comfort in each other’s bodies. Eight weeks. Fifty-five long days. Matthew hadn’t forgotten the intensity of their passion or the way Damien’s body had made him feel, but there were other, finer details he’d lost in the hours they’d spent apart. The taste of Damien’s lips and the firmness of his hands, the dominance of his touch, the weight of his body as it pushed Matthew into the bed—no memory could do them justice.
The kiss grew fervent. Matthew, robbed of breath, tangled his fingers in Damien’s hair and broke their contact only long enough to suck in a lungful of air. For Damien it was a moment too long. Without Matthew’s lips to keep him occupied, he trailed kisses down Matthew’s body, favoring no part over the other until he arrived at Matthew’s nipples. Damien flicked them both with his tongue, then looked up at Matthew and sucked one into his mouth.
“Daddy!” Matthew gasped. He arched his hips while Damien’s lips squeezed. Desperate for more, Matthew held Damien to his chest while his hips worked in an erratic rhythm, seeking friction that wasn’t there. “Daddy,please.”
Damien hummed against his nipple, then parted from it to speak. “What do you want, baby boy?”
“You.I want to feel you again.”
Damien ran a hand down Matthew’s side, stopping only once he arrived at the top of Matthew’s pants. Once there, one of his fingers twisted its way into the nearest belt loop, tugging on it playfully. “I want that, too. I want that more than you could ever know. But what we want isn’t always what we get.”
“What do you mean?” Matthew untangled one of his hands from Damien’s hair and propped himself up on his elbow to get a better look at him. If Damien wanted him, and Matthew wanted Damien back, why weren’t they already fucking? It didn’t make sense.
“What I mean is…” Damien, eyes closed, lowered his head and lapped tenderly at Matthew’s nipple. He looked so goddamn beautiful like that, his dark lashes fanned against his cheeks and his lips glossed from his worship of Matthew’s body. For a while, he left his sentence incomplete, his tongue devoted to Matthew’s pleasure. Then, after one last lick, he blinked his eyes open and met Matthew’s gaze. “As much as I want you, what you need comes first.”
“What I need?” Matthew’s stomach twisted. “I don’t understand…”
“Oh baby, are you trying to tempt me, being so sweet?” Damien crawled up Matthew’s body so they were nose to nose, then turned his head to the side in a near kiss. Matthew’s heart pounded. He wanted to close the distance between them and kiss Damien, but he knew better. Damien had something to say—he wouldn’t interrupt. “Until you have it in your head that I’m not angry and that it isn’t your fault, I don’t factor into this relationship at all. Not one little bit.” Damien kissed him in a slow, teasing way that made Matthew’s cock throb and left him wanting more. Lip to lip, Damien continued his address. “I’m crazy about you, Matthew. I fucking love you. If you’re carrying my baby, then all I want in this world is to take care of you—of both of you—and I’m going to prove it.”
Love? Had Damien said—
A slow but fierce kiss ended Matthew’s doubt before it began. The way Damien touched him spoke for itself.
Damien was in love with him.
And as scary as it was, Matthew loved him back.
25
Damien
In a matter of seconds, the kiss turned from fierce to savage. Damien had wanted to keep it sweet, but when Matthew’s fingers tightened in his hair and tugged, there was no holding either of them back. If this was what his boy needed to feel loved, then Damien wouldn’t deprive him.
It didn’t look like they were going to be able to make that appointment. Oh, darn. Damien was pretty sure that they’d identified the cause of Matthew’s nausea, anyway.
“Daddy,” Matthew whispered in the sliver of time between when their lips met and when they parted. “Daddy,I love you.”
The impact those words had rippled through Damien, reshaping his world. Matthew meant what he said—he was too innocent to tell a convincing lie. Even if he hadn’t been, Damien would have known. The goosebumps down Matthew’s arms, the quivering need in his voice, and the reverence in his touch betrayed him.
The boy he loved loved him back. Damien would have crowed with delight if it wouldn’t have ruined the moment. He settled on speaking instead.
“Love you.” Damien kissed the words into Matthew, wanting him to know them inside and out. “Love you so much, baby boy. I swear I’m gonna take care of you.”
When Matthew’s cheeks were pink and his eyes were glossy with want, Damien left his lips and kissed his way back down his body. While he stopped to toy with Matthew’s nipples, he didn’t linger there for long. His destination was farther south.
