With Matthew.
Fuck.
It was sex. Just sex. Why couldn’t he wrap his head around the concept?
There was no emotional attachment between them no matter what Damien felt. There wasnothing.Matthew hadn’t even come along to say goodbye.
“Knot?” xV asked cautiously.
Damien shook his head. “I’m good. There’s just a lot going on. My body might be here, but my head’s already back in New York.”
What he left unsaid was what was most important—that while his body and his head were worlds apart, his heart was back on the beach, pining for a boy to whom it could never belong.
* * *
The ferry was minutes away from pulling up its ramp when Damien and his Single Dad entourage made it to the wharf. Harley, who continued to haul Damien’s suitcase beneath his arm, shot across the walkway at a sprint and barreled up the ramp. Halfway up, he stopped and set down Damien’s suitcase. “We made it!”
“Fuck yeah we did,” Damien said with a grin that belied his mood. “You guys really didn’t have to come all this way to see me off. I could’ve made the trip myself.”
“Uh, no?” TD broke from Aaron the Asshat, hurrying ahead of Damien before pivoting so he could walk backward in front of him. “You’re our friend, Knot. None of us are going to let you go without saying goodbye.”
“It’s true, you know.” xV fell in line at Damien’s side and bumped his shoulder. Damien managed a smile and bumped him back. “We’re the Single Dad Support Group. Supporting our friends is what we do.”
“Sometimes,” Gwynn clarified as the sun hit him just right and a fleck of glitter in his hair sparkled.
“Sometimes,” xV agreed.
The group came to a stop at the foot of the ferry’s access ramp. Damien looked first at Harley, who’d set the suitcase down and extended its handle in anticipation of Damien’s arrival, then at his friends on the wharf. Back at the beach by the bures, Damien had felt like all of them were disappointed in him—like he was ruining what was supposed to be their dream vacation. Now all he felt was love.
“Have a safe trip, Knot.” A welcoming smile shaped xV’s mouth and warmed his eyes. “When you’re back home, update the chat to let us know you’re safe.”
“See ya, Knot,” TD said with a smile. “Don’t feel so bad about going—we’ll see each other again soon. Youarecoming to my wedding, right?”
Damien glanced at the shitlord who’d stolen TD’s heart. A few years ago, Damien would have rather burned his eyebrows off than been in the same room with such a humongous asslump, but now, apart from residual disdain, Damien felt very little for him at all. The sting was gone. The feelings he’d once harbored for TD were well and truly dead, and he was glad for it.
It meant that there was room in his heart for someone else.
Someone he’d move on from one day in just the same way.
Damien forced a smile. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Glit winked. “Before you go, you want us to take a quick picture so we can stick your face on a palm frond?”
“Really? You’re giving me the TD treatment?”
“Hey!” TD puffed his cheeks.
Glit snickered. “I mean, wecould.”
There was commotion up on deck—the operators, two men in royal blue polo shirts and white pants, had come to pull the ramp up, only to find Harley planted in the middle of it. They wanted to go, but Harley wouldn’t budge.
“I think it’s time we wrap this party up, guys,” Harley said, ignoring the increasingly exasperated demands of the operators. “I don’t think it’s going to be long before they knock my ass into the ocean.”
“Bye, Knot!” TD exclaimed. “I can’t wait to see you in Aurora. Have a good trip home!”
xV bowed his head. “Thank you again for coming.”
“I’ll be in touch soon.” Glit extended his hand, which Damien accepted automatically. A small plastic baggie was wedged in his palm. It was filled to the point that the plastic was stretched thin, one sudden impact away from exploding.
