With a fresh round of dumpster fires waiting to burn him, Damien tabbed out of his email and opened his first line of defense for when shit got tough—the Single Dad chat. The five guys who chatted there were Damien’s best friends, and in times of stress, they kept him grounded. Damien valued them more than they would ever know.
KnotMyProblem: On my way to the airport
KnotMyProblem: You guys ready for this?
LoveHarley: ya! already here :)
Harley sent a picture of his sandaled feet resting on a beach lounger, white sand beneath him and the ocean on the horizon. Next to him were a second pair of feet that more likely than not belonged to Harley’s boyfriend, Simon.
TeenDad2: Me, Aaron, Glit, Everett, and Caleb are on layover in LAX! I CAN’T WAIT
GlitterDoctor: He really can’t, you guys. Send help. Or booze.
TeenDad2: I think Gwynn and xV are in the air somewhere
TeenDad2: This is going to be so much fun
TeenDad2: AHHHH
Damien snorted.
KnotMyProblem: If he gets to be too much, Glit, you can kick him out. I’m sure Harley wouldn’t mind a house sitter
GlitterDoctor: You make a compelling point…
TeenDad2: HEY!
LoveHarley: It’s okay TD. i already have a house sitter
GlitterDoctor: Besides, you’re going to want TD there. Or at least, you’re going to want his luggage. Two extra passengers means two extra suitcases full of ammo…
TeenDad2: omg Glit you can’t just say that
TeenDad2: The TSA is for sure reading this conversation
TeenDad2: omg if we get kicked out of the airport I’m gonna kill you
If it hadn’t been for the fact that the taxi driver would have kicked his ass out in the middle of the street if Damien burst into diabolical laughter, he would have cackled. There was no stopping the tour de force that was TD. If the kid ever decided that being a stay-at-home dad wasn’t the life for him, he’d have a bright future in comedy.
KnotMyProblem: TD, if anyone’s going to get kicked out of the airport for flagging cyber security, it’ll be you
KnotMyProblem: Pretty sure you just uttered a death threat
TD followed the message up with three horrified emojis.
KnotMyProblem: But don’t worry… if you don’t make it, we’ll print out life-sized full-color copies of your head and stick ‘em on palm fronds. No one will be able to tell you weren’t there when they’re looking at the pictures
TeenDad2: omg no
TeenDad2: I don’t want to be a plant :(
Laughter built behind Damien’s ribs, growing in intensity until he couldn’t hold it back any longer. It escaped as a coarse bark, earning him a look of scorn from his taxi driver.
KnotMyProblem: Then no more death threats until you get to Fiji
KnotMyProblem: I’ve gotta jet. Be good while I’m gone. If I don’t catch you guys later, see you in FIJI!
Before the conversation sucked him back in, Damien closed the chat and tabbed over to his emails. Amongst the influx of new messages was a statement from Geller claiming the legal team had come across a fault in the paperwork, and that the tender offer would be delayed while they ironed it out.
