Frigid water washed over Matthew’s ankles and sent goosebumps racing up his legs. The buds of his nipples hardened. Unlike stepping into a cold shower, wading into the ocean didn’t shock Matthew so much as it intensified the way he experienced the world. Smooth, crumbling sand shifting beneath his feet; the kiss of the current as it explored his skin; the sensation of the twilit breeze as it wrapped around his body—each corporeal pleasure was more divine than it had ever been before.
Matthew waded farther, dug his toes into the sand and closed his eyes. Fresh air filled his lungs, scented by salt and sun. Faced by the end of the day, even the birds had gone silent. In that moment, it was only the island, Matthew, and the group of men who sat on shore, of which Damien was a part of.
Damien.
Matthew’s lips parted. As he stood there and acclimatized to the water, he felt Damien’s gaze on him. It wasn’t forceful or predatory, nor was it innocent. The passion behind it was something Matthew had never encountered before, and he feared it might be something he’d never encounter again. After this week ended, he’d return to Aurora, and life would go back to normal. He’d spend his days taking care of Emily, and once he was enrolled in college, he’d spend his nights studying. There wouldn’t be time to lounge on the beach, reveling in the gaze of a man he could never have. Once school started, there’d barely be enough time for a quick shower before bed.
Matthew opened his eyes. The sun had dipped a sliver farther, and the sky darkened in its absence. Stars shone through pink and orange clouds. The night sky was different here, the constellations not the same ones that Matthew knew from back home. It felt right. Here, in paradise, even something as simple as the night sky was new and exciting. It was a reminder of how far he was from home—how here, life was unlike how it was in Aurora.
Enchanted by the moment, Matthew dipped his chin so he could observe the clear water. A cloud of sand washed over his foot and settled, brought on by the current. Small fish darted around his ankles, some curious, some afraid. Matthew let them be. At last, body primed for the temperature shock, Matthew sucked in a breath and dove. The chill struck him, then receded as he swam. When his lungs demanded it, he breached the surface and threw his head back, gasping for air.
Bliss.
A smile stretched Matthew’s lips. He tilted back until he floated, eyes set on the sky above. Since he’d come out from his bungalow it had gone from pastel to inky black, and the stars there sparkled brightly. Tinges of pink and red hemmed the horizon. Behind him, the ardency of Damien’s gaze warmed Matthew like the sun never could.
He was watching. Matthew knew.
It was what he’d wanted.
What a thrilling thing it was to be watched. The weight of Damien’s desire sank into his bones. It made him want to laugh until his throat was raw and his abs ached. After years of self-imposed isolation, he’d come out of hiding to discover that he wasn’t the ugly, undesirable duckling he’d always imagined—to Damien, he was a swan.
Matthew locked his laughter down, but a delighted sigh made it through his defenses. No longer satisfied to stay still, he flipped onto his stomach and swam forward, then circled back around to stay close to the shore.
While the sun set, Matthew swam laps parallel to the beach. Every now and then, he glanced at the rainbow bonfire and the men who surrounded it. Damien was on the far side of the group with a perfect view of the water, and while Matthew couldn’t tell with total certainty where he was looking, the feeling of eyes on him was too real to be imagined.
If Damien was looking, Matthew intended to give him a show.
While he swam, he lifted his ass, using his core muscles to keep it above the surface. It was hard to tell if Damien could appreciate his efforts from where he was sitting, but Matthew liked to think that he could. Before the sun disappeared, Matthew slowed, then stopped. He turned onto his back and floated again, letting Damien glimpse him from the front. While he floated, he traced the unfamiliar stars with his eyes. It was hard to imagine that for some people, views like this were commonplace. What kinds of things would the Fijian people marvel at if they came to Aurora? Matthew thought of home—of the night sky polluted with light, of the houses all in a row with their uniform green lawns and tar driveways—and remembered the trees that bloomed purple in the spring and the smell of freshly cut grass. Downtown, where vegetation was sparse, there were towering buildings with windows that shone like jewels during the day, and whose silhouettes looked fearsome at night. The throngs of people passing by outside of them moved like schools of fish without a common destination between them, but they all shared their journeys regardless.
Years from now, when this vacation had faded from his mind, Matthew hoped that he’d remember the way these strange stars had made him feel. How Damien had made him feel. No matter where he was, or how trapped he felt in life, there was beauty around him. As long as he was alive, there would always be something to marvel over.
Like the universe had been listening to his thoughts, something curious appeared in Matthew’s peripheral vision—a light. It came from beneath the water. Alarmed, Matthew stopped floating to check on what it was. Electric eels were a thing, right? And so were those fish with the lanterns dangling from their heads. If monsters like that were coming out to play now that the sun had set, Matthew’s swim was officially over. He wanted nothing to do with either of them. But what he saw below the surface wasn’t a fish. It was…
Matthew frowned, trying to figure it out. It wasn’t one light, like he’d originally thought, but hundreds. What were they? Each one was uniform in size and circular in shape, nestled into the sand without rhyme or reason. Some were grouped in clusters, while others were spread out, but all of them emitted the same beautiful white-blue glow. They reminded Matthew of fairy lights strung up in the eaves of a covered patio.
Whatever they were, they were magical. With them lit, he could see things he’d never thought to look for—beautiful shells, smooth rocks, and silvery schools of fish who reflected the light with each flick of their tails. In the distance, a large turtle cut toward the deeper ocean. Matthew, stunned by its size, looked toward the group surrounding the bonfire to see if any of them had noticed, but as far as he could tell, none of them had. Harley chucked another few pieces of wood into the fire, which roared to life. TD and Matthew’s father were laughing. xV and Glit were bathed in the light of their cell phone screens—it looked like they were showing each other something. And Damien…
Damien didn’t care about the lights or the turtle. He looked through the fire at Matthew.
A shiver shot down Matthew’s spine that had nothing to do with the chilly temperature of the water.
While it impossible to tell exactly where Damien was looking, it didn’t matter. Matthew felt his gaze. The turtle and the fish weren’t the only things the underwater lights were exposing—he was being put on display, too. If Damien sat at the right angle, he’d see Matthew.Allof Matthew. Wet. Exposed. Vulnerable. Right now, what was he looking at? The slender shape of Matthew’s body? The way his speedo clung to his hips and stretched across his groin?
A moment passed. Damien suddenly looked away. Matthew blinked back into reality in time to hear his father call him from the shore. “Matthew? We’re wrapping things up and heading in for the night. You should come. It’s not safe to swim alone.”
Matthew jerked his gaze from Damien and looked at his father. The bonfire had burned down to almost nothing. How much time had he spent treading water, lost in his dirty thoughts? To clear his mind, he shook his head, then called out in reply. “Coming.”
The swim back to the beach didn’t take long. Matthew emerged from the water, shivering, and headed straight for the towel he’d stashed beyond the surf. While he shook his towel out and patted his face dry, the group up-shore dumped water into their fire pit. Dying embers hissed.
Not all of the Single Dads were needed to put out the fire. When Matthew looked up from his towel, he noticed that Damien had split away from the group and was making his way leisurely toward him. Petrified of what might happen if anyone found out about them, Matthew froze. Damien wouldn’t be so obvious, would he? Matthew thought he’d been flirting by showing off his body and tempting Damien from afar, but maybe he’d misread the signs, and—
All of Matthew’s fears faded when he caught a glimpse of the look in Damien’s eyes.
Damien wasn’t angry—he hungered.
Want, urgent want, simmered beneath the surface of his self-control, contained within his eyes like a starved beast behind thick steel bars. Outwardly, Damien was composed, but on the inside, those eyes told Matthew that, if given a chance, he’d swallow Matthew whole.
As cold as he was from his swim, Matthew’s dick started to harden. The same want expressed in Damien’s eyes resonated inside of him. What he wouldn’t give to have Damien cross the sands, run his fingers through his hair, and clench it tight so Damien could pull him into a soul-crushing kiss. It was wrong—it was so wrong—yet Matthew couldn’t help but want it. With Damien in the picture, his life didn’t feel so bleak.
