xVerity: Paging @GlitterDoctor… can you verify that’s the correct medical term?
KnotMyProblem: THERE WILL BE NO END TO THE BARRAGE OF GLITTER NEXT TIME WE’RE FACE TO FACE
GlitterDoctor: No, it’s not
KnotMyProblem: FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, THE SANDY BEACHES OF FIJI WILL GLISTEN WITH THE AFTERMATH OF OUR BATTLE
GlitterDoctor: The correct terminology is “fuck orifice”
Gwynning: The aftermath of a battle…?
Gwynning: So are you saying…
KnotMyProblem: I swear to god
KnotMyProblem: if you say what I think you’re going to say
Gwynning: that glitter is like a… placenta?
A second picture of a placenta popped up on the screen. Jayne coughed to mask his laughter, burying his mouth into the crook of his arm as it coursed through him.
“You okay?” Everett asked. He sat beside Jayne behind the wheel of the Jag. Traffic had been terrible, and the drive was taking longer than it should have. Jayne didn’t mind. Not only did it give him a little extra time to selfishly sneak peeks at Everett, but it had let him catch up with what was going on with the Single Dads.
He was glad he wasn’t missing this afternoon’s shenanigans.
“I’m great,” Jayne said. He cleared his throat. “Just something in the old orifice.”
“What?”
“Never mind.”
KnotMyProblem: I’M OUT
KnotMyProblem: GOODBYE
Gwynning: Wait, my mistake
Gwynning: I got aftermath confused with afterbirth
Gwynning: What a silly thing to do
KnotMyProblem: Whatever hopes there were for a truce are gone. THAT SHIP HAS SAILED
KnotMyProblem: Glit, you need to change your name. No longer will you be the glitter doctor—you’re the glitter dealer now, and boy, oh boy, am I about to bring some business your way
“Jayne, do you have the portable phone charger with the USB-C adapter in Parker’s diaper bag?” Shep asked from the back, where he sat in front of Penelope, Bo, and Parker. “When you gave me my phone back, it was dead. I must’ve left an app running or something.”
“You can’t wait until we get home?” Jayne asked.
Shep sighed an exasperated sigh. “Usually, yeah, but have you seen the traffic? It’s going to take us two hours to get back home. You probably don’t care because you have your phone, but it’s kinda boring sitting back here with nothing to do. So… please?”
“Alright, alright.” Jayne put his phone down and undid the side compartment of Parker’s diaper bag, retrieving the portable phone charger from inside. He handed it back to Shep. “There you go.”
Traffic let up, and they made several streets’ worth of progress before it clogged up again. By now, Jayne recognized where they were—their street, Trefore Avenue, was only about a block away.
Two hours, his ass.
“Your place is on Lindscott, right?” Everett asked. “The turn is coming up soon, and with all this traffic backing us up, I want to make sure I’m in the right lane ahead of time.”
