Part of raising a family?
If he couldn’t conscientiously bring children into the world on his own, then he could raise the children of the man he loved.
Themenhe loved.
Caleb’s heart fluttered at the idea, and he brought Parker to a gradual stop so they could talk.
“You like being flown around?” Caleb temporarily ended their game of airplane to hold Parker to his chest, cuddling him. He thought he knew now why, after a long day of work, Jayne smiled instead of sighed when Parker reached for him, demanding attention—why Jayne spent the hours he did on the floor with Parker, having one-sided conversations and enthusing about all the small things Parker did. “Well, here’s the deal—this ain’t a free fairground. You’re gonna have to pay the cuddle toll before we continue.”
Parker laughed and tugged at Caleb’s shirt, balling his fists in the fabric. It wasn’t the first time that Caleb had held Parker since the Biernacki family had come to stay at the condo, but it was the first time he’d noticed how soft the fine hairs atop his head were, and how his warm, heavy weight fit so snugly in his arms. Now more than ever, it bothered him that Parker’s biological father wanted no part of his life. Caleb had no relation to Parker, but he knew that he would do whatever it took to keep him fed, happy, and safe.
“You’re a special little man, you know that?” Caleb asked Parker in a whisper. He settled onto the couch while Parker made a bed out of his shirt and bumped his deceptively hard head against the underside of Caleb’s chin. “You’ve got a dad who’d do anything for you—anything at all. And—”
A creaking floorboard tore Caleb from his heartfelt monologue. He jumped, causing Parker to laugh all over again. Standing near the entryway to the living room was a pajama-clad Shep, whose auburn hair managed to look like a bird’s nest while still swooping across his brow to cover one of his eyes.
“Holy shit!” Caleb breathed. “You scared me!”
“Good morning to you, too.” Shep glared, then crossed the room and did something bizarre—he came up to the couch and willingly sat next to Caleb. Caleb watched, stunned, as he tucked his legs beneath him, then tugged his t-shirt down so it covered his knees, effectively creating a teen-sized tent. “Did Jayne and Everett just leave?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.” Shep stared at the blank television screen and pinched his lips together. If Caleb hadn’t been able to verify with his own eyes that the television was off, he would have guessed that Shep was watching an inflammatory news story. “I wanted to talk to you about something, but I don’t want them around to hear it.”
Whatever was on Shep’s mind had to be important—summer vacation had started, and Shep had taken to sleeping until two in the afternoon. Hell, if Caleb hadn’t been asked to babysit, he wouldn’t have been awake, either. Finding himself more concerned than perplexed about Shep’s vague statement, Caleb sat up a little straighter and adjusted Parker so that they were both comfortable. “What’s up?”
Shep cleared his throat and did his best to keep up his tough-guy exterior, but as he opened his mouth to speak, Caleb got the impression that all was not well. The anger in Shep’s eyes intensified, then grew too large and burst, leaving behind a startlingly different emotion—fear. Caleb saw it, but he didn’t comment on it. It hadn’t been all that long ago that he’d struggled with a similar emotional response, and he knew how challenging it was to talk when all you wanted to do was scream. Shep was here because he trusted Caleb, and Caleb wasn’t going to rub Shep’s face in his feelings by bringing his emotional state to his attention. He’d simply let Shep speak.
“I’m not going to beat around the bush,” Shep said, his voice still charged with anger, “because I hate it when people do that to me, so I’m going to be blunt, okay?”
“Okay.”
Caleb’s brevity earned him a glare, but he’d much rather Shep think he was playing it cool than that he was making too big a deal out of the situation. It had been a decade since Caleb had last been a teenager, and longer than that since he’d struggled with puberty, but he remembered the emotional turmoil of those times, both thinking that people cared too much, or that they didn’t care at all. In time, Shep would level out. Until then, he had to be understanding.
“Well, whatever.” Shep slouched into the corner of the couch Parker had previously occupied, inadvertently pushing one of the pillows to the floor as he did. The offending pillow earned the ire of Shep’s glare, but a moment after, Shep elected to scoop it up and hug it to his chest like a shield. “You and Everett fuck each other, right?”
Blunt was right. Caleb, who was admittedly straightforward at times, was taken aback. Not wanting to get into the intricacies of his relationship with Everett, and how, yes, they did fuck, but their sexual preferences made it complicated, Caleb offered a simple reply. “Yeah.”
“But you and Everett are fucking Jayne now, too, aren’t you?” Shep held onto the pillow tightly and looked aside. “I mean, I know you are, so I guess you don’t have to confirm it, or whatever. What I want to know is if you’re just fucking him for fun, or if you’re serious. Like, dating, serious.”
“Oh.” Caleb spent a moment focused on Parker, who was happily babbling to himself and gnawing on a fistful of Caleb’s shirt. It hadn’t occurred to him to talk to Shep about his relationship with Jayne, largely because the relationship had been subtle until Jayne went into heat and was no longer able to share a bed with Shep. “I think this is a conversation you might want to have with Jayne, not me.”
“No.” Shep frowned. He kept his gaze as far from Caleb as he could. “It was up to Jayne to approach me about it, but since I’m here asking you questions, it’s up to you to answer them. Are you and Everett both dating my brother, or are you just fucking him for fun?”
This was what had prompted Shep to get up early? Caleb frowned. “We’re serious.”
“Then you need to be honest with me.” The statement was open-ended—Shep wasn’t done speaking yet. Before he got to the meat of the matter, he straightened his legs, causing his shirt to snap back from around his knees. It fell into place against his chest, billowing around his narrow frame. “Jayne’s in heat right now, and he’s sleeping in your bed every night. I understand why he’s not sleeping in the guest room anymore, but he could just as easily have slept on the couch.” Shep shifted to one side, then the other as he tucked his legs back beneath himself. “You and Everett aren’t trying to give him another baby, are you?”
Caleb almost choked. “No.”
“Because if you are,” Shep barely gave time for Caleb to speak, “I’m going to have to beat your ass. You know that, right?”
There it was—the reason why Shep had given up sleep for an awkward conversation. Caleb readjusted Parker on his chest so he could stand, then crossed the room and set Parker in his play gym. The brightly colored plastic baubles and manipulable, rotating parts would keep him occupied while Caleb and Shep had their talk. Not wanting to leave Parker unsupervised, and of the opinion that it would be in his best interest to face Shep rather than sit beside him, Caleb got comfortable on the floor beside the play gym and looked in Shep’s direction.
“I know,” Caleb said, perhaps a little more seriously than he would have liked. “But we’re not, so you won’t need to.”
“Jayne needs someone to take care of him,” Shep continued, his voice every bit as unyielding as it had been moments before. “Until now, that’s been me and Simon, but Simon’s gone now, so I’m on my own.” In what appeared to be an attempt to mask the fear and uncertainty starting to crack on his face, Shep bit his bottom lip, narrowing his eyes as he did. “I just wanna let you and Everett know that no matter what you mean to him, or what he means to you, if you take advantage of my brother, or if you hurt him, I don’t care how long it takes, or what will happen to me—I’ll come for you.”
It was a threat, and Caleb took it seriously. A scrawny, emotionally overwhelmed teenager like Shep wasn’t the kind of guy who posed a risk for Caleb and Everett—unless he did end up taking that ax murderer apprenticeship—but teenagers only stayed young for so long. Through Jayne’s retelling of his personal history, Caleb had gained insight into the kind of life Shep had led, and what kind of events would mold his future. The Biernackis were warriors, every one of them, and there was no doubt in Caleb’s mind that if something happened, Shep would keep his word, no matter how long it took.
