4
Simon
Late on a lazy Saturday afternoon with nowhere to go and nowhere to be, Simon sprawled across the couch, laptop open on his spread legs. He paid it no heed. A few minutes earlier, he’d been working out the kinks of a computer script he’d written roughly a month ago, but now, he reveled in the silence in the apartment instead. Shep, Simon’s teenage brother and unapologetic door opener, was out at a convention, and Jayne, Simon’s significantly older brother, had sequestered himself and his infant son, Parker, into the bathroom while he prepared for a night on the town. Simon, who did contract work from home and didn’t have much of a social life, looked after Parker on weekend nights to give Jayne a break, and during the week while Jayne was at work. It was thankless work, and often it left Simon feeling trapped, but his individual feelings were less important than the overall wellbeing of his family.
While it wasn’t unusual for there to be silence in the apartment during the week while Jayne was at work and Shep was at school, it was almost unheard of on the weekend.
Simon took it as a sign of good things to come. A little rest, a little relaxation, and a little time all to himself. If Parker wasn’t fussy tonight, he could pretend that he lived a normal life, and that loss hadn’t ended the world as he’d once known it.
Maybe, if things stayed calm, he’d close his laptop in a few minutes and head to bed. Imaginary Harlow was waiting for him there, nude, the hills of his muscular body kissed by golden sunlight, and the valleys dramatically shadowed. Arms folded behind his head, the dips of his armpits populated by dark-blond tufts of hair, he’d look at Simon with his eyebrowandhis cock raised, and Simon, enchanted, would come to bed and ride him until long after night had settled and the chaos outside his bedroom door had come home to roost.
With a pleased yawn, Simon stretched out and tucked his arms behind his head. As the first stirrings of arousal struck, he traced a long crack dividing the ceiling in half with his eyes. It ran from one side of the room’s off-white molding to another. It had been three years since he’d moved into this apartment with Jayne and Shep, but even now, it didn’t feel like home.
It probably never would be.
Simon scrunched his nose and stretched his legs, balancing his laptop precariously. It was a careful balancing act he’d perfected over time. One day, when the stars aligned and life went right for once, he’d be able to leave this place and find somewhere he felt he belonged. Somewhere his heart was free, and his hands weren’t tied.
At least, not metaphorically.
Simon snorted a laugh through his nose and grinned at his own joke. God, he was a dork—an absolutely hopeless dork. But at least, despite it all, he still had enough of a sense of humor to have fun.
As Simon’s legs reached overextension, the front door to the apartment opened suddenly, then slammed shut with such force that Simon felt it in his chest. Startled, he jumped. The sudden movement jogged his laptop, and it slid from his legs on a collision course with the floor. With a yelp, Simon twisted around and dove for it, slapping his palm down at the last second in a desperate bid to secure it before it hit the ground. His hand hit the keyboard, and the computer protested by holding a shrill, glitched note, like it was screaming at him for the abuse it had suffered.
Adrenaline spiked, Simon guided the laptop onto the couch cushion, then rose on shaky legs to check on what had happened. He arrived in the hall in time to see Shep’s bedroom door shut.
Jayne stuck his head into the hall from the bathroom. “What the hell was that?”
“I think it was Shep.” Simon pursed his lips. “Either that or someone just invaded our home and made a beeline for Shep’s bedroom.”
“At least Parker—” On cue, Parker started to wail. “—didn’t wake up…”
Jayne sighed. He stepped out of the bathroom and turned to face Simon. Black eyeliner bled from one of his eyes down his cheek, his sclera turned pink from irritation. If Simon had to guess, Jayne had likely stabbed himself in the eye with his eyeliner when Shep had stormed through the front door. “Do you think you can take care of it? Parker’s crying, and I’ve got my busted-ass eye to fix.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Simon glanced from Jayne to Shep’s bedroom door. There was no noise from inside the room. “I’m sure that whatever happened was a misunderstanding. We’ll get it straightened out.”
“You’re the best.” Jayne flashed Simon a grin worn by exhaustion. “If he gets snarky or belligerent, you’ll let me know, right? Once I get Parker settled, I can come help… and if I have to discipline the kid while makeup is running down my goddamn face, he’ll know he’s in shit.”
Despite his uncertainty over Shep’s abrupt entrance, Simon snorted. “I wouldnotwant to face you while you’re crying black.”
“Like a goddamn glitter demon. This is the liquid liner with the micro-sparkles I was telling you about the other day. I’ll wear it like warpaint if I need to.”
“You won’t need to,” Simon assured him. “Go to Parker. Clean up. I’ll talk to Shep. I’ve got it covered.”
Jayne gave him a thumbs-up, then headed back into the bathroom. Parker’s wails turned into sobs that simmered into whimpers. As Simon walked by, he glimpsed Jayne cradling him against his chest, rocking him slowly back and forth. Despite what they’d been through and the losses they’d suffered, Jayne was there for his son, and Simon knew that he loved him more than anything else.
Shep’s bedroom door was at the end of the hall on the left-hand side. It was a small room, better suited for an office than a bedroom, but had the best air-conditioning in his house, and the best heat in the winter. Last summer, Simon had worked with Shep to reposition his furniture so they could fit a desk upon which they’d built a computer from Simon’s retired computer components. It had taken a few days, and in the end, Simon had ended up purchasing a different graphics card despite Shep’s insistence that the old one would do, but the time spent together had refreshed their spirits and made Simon feel like maybe being stuck here wasn’t all that bad.
Plus, he’d been able to steal the coveted title of “best brother” from Jayne.
Simon had a feeling that when he knocked on Shep’s door to discuss what had just happened, he was going to lose that title.
“Shep?” Simon asked before knocking. “Hey, can I come in?”
There was no response. The room was deathly silent, like Shep had barreled through the apartment, closed himself in his room, and then promptly jumped out the window.
Simon knocked. “Hey, Shep. Is it okay if I open the door?”
No answer.
