“Good.” Shep leaned against the wall beside the door, his arms folded loosely over his chest. He wore one of the three black hoodie he always did, his auburn hair a mess. “Jayne said you were probably fapping, but I told him you don’t ever do that. You’re too boring. Anyway, I already asked Jayne and he said to ask you: is it cool if I have a friend come stay after the con tomorrow?”
“A friend?” Simon wiggled around, adjusting his position so he could look at Shep better without revealing his erection. “Yeah. Sure. That’d be fine. Do you guys need anything?”
“Nope.” Shep brushed a hand through his hair. The gesture wasn’t inherently nervous, but it caught Simon’s eye as unusual. He furrowed his brow, trying to get a read on Shep’s face, but as he did, Shep pushed off the wall and gestured at the door. “So if it’s cool, I’m gonna let you go back to sleep or whatever, okay? I just needed you to approve, that’s all.”
“Yeah, it’s okay by me if you have someone over.” Simon’s eyes narrowed. Something was going on, but he couldn’t tell what. “And you’re sure you’ve talked to Jayne about it? He gave you his okay?”
“Yeah, Jayne was cool with it. He said he wasn’t going to be home much tomorrow, anyway, so he doesn’t care. All he told me to do was to keep the noise down so Parker can sleep.”
Tomorrow was Saturday—of course Jayne wasn’t going to be home. Simon flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. At least, with Shep out, the apartment would be quiet.
“Your friend is fine with getting home on his own?” Simon asked.
“Yep.”
“Are you guys going to need dinner?”
“Like a frozen pizza or something, maybe. I can pick one up before I come home.”
“That sounds great.” Simon blinked slowly, willing his racing heart to settle back to a normal pace. “Thanks for checking in with us.”
“Yeah, you’re welcome.” The door creaked as Shep pulled it closed behind him. He was much slower in his exit than he had been in his entrance. “I’m going to go back to my room now.”
“Sounds good.”
The door clicked as it shut. Shep was gone. With a breathy sigh, Simon folded an arm over his eyes and pushed down until colors bloomed behind his eyelids. Why couldn’t Shep have waited until he left the room? He’d plucked Simon straight from his favorite fantasy and ruined an explosive orgasm.
At least he hadn’t commented on Simon’s erection.
Or the bright red handprint on his neck.
Fuck.
Frustrated, Simon lifted his arm from his eyes, pushed his hair back from his forehead, then reached between his legs and delicately removed the dildo from inside himself. Now that he’d been interrupted, he wouldn’t be able to return to the dreamworld he’d imagined himself in. Harlow would have to wait until later tonight to knock him up.
With the dildo in hand, Simon climbed out of bed, wiggled into a pair of boxers, and left his room to head for the bathroom. Shep had already returned to his bedroom, and Jayne was in the kitchen, rattling pots and pans, likely making himself some dinner before he headed out for the night. No one would cross paths with him in the hall, let alone spot the too-large dildo Simon had tucked against his side. Life had returned to normal, at least for the time being.
Achingly dull, hopelessly pathetic, normal. Shep had been right—Simonwasboring. No social life, no friends to speak of, no lovers to call his own… just fantasies of a life he could never have, and dreams of a time when the sacrifices he’d made would be worth it.
What would life be like if he was different? If he’d dared to say no? If the accident had never happened?
Simon’s heart twisted. He entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him, then placed the dildo in the sink and planted his palms against the counter, head bowed as nausea enveloped his stomach and squeezed.
There was no point in imagining a better life—the one he had now was the one he was stuck with. Nothing would change. Nothing would get better. At least, not until Shep was grown.
Not until Simon was free.
He took a few deep breaths to calm himself, then ran the water and started to clean the closest thing he’d ever get to a partner. One day, things would be different. One day. But right now, his family needed him more than he needed himself. All of his efforts would pay off in the future. All he had to do was believe… and maybe get around to finally installing those locks on his bedroom door.
