43
Harlow
Two suitcases occupied the space by the front door. Harlow gave them a final look, then headed down the hall to the very last door on the left—Shep’s. The bore hole was still empty, the inside knob, outside knob, and latch plate all gone. With nothing left to hold the door closed, it would swing freely if he struck it, so he knocked on the wall instead.
“Go away,” Shep said from inside.
“It’s me, Shep,” Harlow replied. “We’re almost ready to go, but before we do, I wanted to ask your permission to do something.”
“Go away,” Shep repeated. His voice was muffled, his head most likely mashed against his pillow. “I don’t care what you do. Do whatever. Nothing matters anymore.”
For Harlow, that was invitation enough. He hooked his fingers through the bore hole and swung the door open, then parted the plastic shell over the replacement doorknob he’d ordered and began to place the new parts where they belonged. Luckily, no damage had been done to the wood, and everything fitted as it should have. It wouldn’t take long for the job to be done. “You have a Phillips screwdriver, Shep?”
That got Shep’s attention. He lifted his head and looked at Harlow with bloodshot eyes, then glanced at the new doorknob. He said nothing, but he climbed out of bed and headed to his computer desk. From one of its drawers, he removed a Phillips screwdriver and brought it to Harlow.
“Thanks.” Harlow took it and secured the latch plate in place, then fastened the mounting screws. A few experimental twists of the doorknob revealed it to be in working condition. As far as he could tell, the strike plate from the old doorknob wouldn’t need to be replaced—it would do the trick just fine.
With the job done, he handed the screwdriver and the extra parts to Shep. “Keep these safe somewhere in case something goes wrong and you need to fix it. It shouldn’t—it’s on there pretty good—but I don’t know if what happened to your last doorknob will happen again. Better safe than sorry.”
Shep closed the plastic shell over the remaining parts. He glared at his screwdriver like it was personally responsible for all the wrong in his world. “You don’t have to be nice to me. You’re only doing this ’cuz you feel sorry for me. I don’t need your sympathy.”
“Great, because I’ve got no sympathy to give.” Harlow lifted a brow and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. “I fixed your door because I wanted to—because while maybe things didn’t work out between you and Evie, that doesn’t mean that they’ve changed between you and me. We got started on the wrong foot, but you’ve got guts, and you stood up to me even though you didn’t have to. Plus, I think you really put your everything into our week of training. I was impressed.”
“It was stupid of me to ever try,” Shep grumbled. He looked away, his face screwed up in frustration. “I did all that shit for her and it wasn’t enough. I thought that we had something special, but it doesn’t look like we did, does it? I shouldn’t have bothered. Life is dumb.Relationshipsare dumb.”
The statement gave Harlow pause. He considered Shep’s words, his own heart tightly strung, then shook his head. “Relationships aren’t dumb. I know it feels that way now, but you’ll see in time that every person you meet, every time you put your heart on the line, and every moment of failure is a potential to learn. You’ll grow stronger as a person, as a member of society, and as a lover. And I know it hurts like hell, but you’ll pull through. I promise. The heart is resilient. It can break worse than you ever imagined and still manage to bounce back.”
Whether he believed his own words was debatable. After his conversation with Simon earlier that morning, Harlow’s heart was an empty place. While he knew that distance wasn’t the kiss of death for all relationships, he also knew that with thousands of miles and two time zones between them, the fledgling love they’d found in each other was likely to fail. Still, he couldn’t blame Simon for his choice. Just like Harlow put Evie first, so too did Simon honor his brothers. It was commendable, and it showed the hidden strength in Simon that had made Harlow fall for him in the first place.
Quiet, timid, yet strong.
“I don’t know what I’m going to learn from this other than that I shouldn’t try anymore.” Shep glowered, pinching his shoulders to his neck. “Why bother making such a huge effort when all you get is goodbye?”
“I don’t know… even if that’s your only takeaway from this last week, it’s still a good one.” Harlow studied Shep, his heart growing heavier by the moment. Did Simon feel the same way about their time together that Shep did about Evie? Harlow had seen the sorrow in his eyes and the hesitation when he’d made his choice. Unable to tell, Harlow spoke to Shep like he was speaking to Simon, opening up his heart to soothe him as best he could. “A lesson like that will show you that you can bounce back from goodbye. You’ll come out of this knowing that you are stronger than your darkest moment. That’s something you can be proud of, isn’t it?”
“It’s a stupid thing to be proud of.” Shep headed back to bed and dropped onto the mattress, then buried his face in the pillows. Although he was acting contrary, Harlow felt like he’d planted seeds that would one day sprout sense in Shep’s mind. “Thanks for fixing the door or whatever. It was nice of you, I guess.”
“You’ve got a choice in life,” Harlow told him at length, hoping that Shep might listen to one last word of wisdom before he left. “You can be a team player, or you can play for yourself. Just remember that when times get tough and life turns on you, you’ll either have to face the bad times alone, or alongside the people you’ve stood by when they needed it most. I’m a team player, Shep. Even if you decide to play for yourself, I want what’s best for you. I hope this last week showed you that, and that someday, you’ll look back at this week and remember it positively, no matter its outcome.”
Shep said nothing. Harlow took it as his cue to leave.
“Take care of yourself,” he said in parting. “Take care of your brothers, too. They love you, you know. You’re damn lucky to have them on your side.”
Harlow slapped the doorframe twice, then exited into the hall. He closed the door behind him, letting it latch in place. Before he could turn, a voice called out to him from near the front door. “You wonderful man—you fixed the door.”
It was Jayne who’d spoken. He stood with Evie and Simon by the luggage, bold and upbeat while his company withered. Parker was in his arms, awake and squirming.
“Fulch doesn’t need to come visit now. You have no idea how glad that makes me.” Jayne yawned. “I mean, I suppose it’s nothardto fix a doorknob, but I haven’t ever done it before, and I’m sure it would have ended up with me fucking it up somehow. Not even Parker would have been able to help me out of that one, would you, Parker?”
“Gah,” Parker intoned. He proceeded to make a series of noises, each cuter than the last.
Jayne beamed at him. “No, I’m not much of a handyman, but just you wait until you’re old enough to get playground injuries—I’m going to be a fucking legend at fixing those.”
“Um, are you packed, Dad?” Evie asked. She rubbed her arm apprehensively, every bit as gloomy as Simon, who stood at her side. “Our flight’s pretty soon, so I’m thinking… I’m thinking we should go.”
“All set.” Harlow came to stand by them, close in proximity, but distant in spirit. “Are you sure you don’t mind driving, Simon? I can call a cab.”
Simon offered Harlow a smile, but it was second-rate at best, and miserable at worst. “Nah, I’m okay. I can drive. Jayne doesn’t need the van today, right, Jayne?”
