Dinner arrived before he could say anything more, and the conversation changed track to other subjects—the food, anecdotes about their lives so far, and cute, stolen glances that made Vincent feel like he was a teenager again.
The attraction flowed both ways.
Mal, who was handsome, kind, and experienced, was interested inhim.He only hoped that by the end of the night, Mal would still think the same. There was a truth yet to be shared that Vincent needed to divulge before he allowed his relationship with Mal to progress any further—the same one that had torn apart his marriage and catalyzed his move to Aurora in search of a fresh start. He wouldn’t allow another one of his relationships to be based on half-truths or willful ignorance.
By the end of the night, Mal would know, and Mal would decide for himself if he wanted to see Vincent again. It was only fair, as frightening as it was.
There would be no more shame. No more clinging to the ideals that others established for him. He’d come here to reinvent himself—to find happiness with who he was, not who others wished him to be. If it meant losing Mal, Vincent would shoulder the blow.
As much as it would hurt, for the first time in his life, Vincent loved himself too much to want to do otherwise.
21
Mal
When dinner was done and the plates had been bussed, Vincent excused himself to use the bathroom, leaving Mal a second to collect his thoughts and talk himself down from the lofty high he’d climbed to. The evening hadn’t just gone well—it had gonewonderfully.A voice in his mind, jaded by years of seclusion and fear, whispered that Vincent was up to something, and that he was no good. Mal chose not to listen. Now that he was at a place where he was comfortable with his mental state and eager to move onward, he didn’t have anything to fear. If Vincentwasup to no good, then he’d cope. Over the course of his adult life, he’d suffered far worse tragedies than a shady boyfriend.
Boyfriend.
A thrill ran through him, the sensation like creeping fingers down his spine, but brightened with excitement. It was what he should have felt as a young man encountering love for the first time, he realized. At fifty, it was a little late to be feeling it now, but Mal didn’t let it pull him down. He wasseeingsomeone—someone who was intelligent, handsome, and engaging.
Someone he actually liked.
Cold, bare feet. Leering faces. Strange bedrooms. Memories like those crept out from the darkness in his soul, their tendrils slimy and sticky, ready to ensnarl him if he didn’t make an effort to keep them away. With his mind filled with Vincent, Mal got the impression that keeping them contained to the shadows wouldn’t be so hard. He’d found a source of starlight, and with it glinting overhead, the night wouldn’t feel as sinister.
Vincent returned, but didn’t come to sit at the table. Instead, he stood less than an arm’s reach away from Mal and nodded back toward the stairs. “You wanna get going?”
“The bill hasn’t come yet.”
“I took care of it already. We’re set to go.”
Had he? Mal glanced at the stairs, almost anticipating that he’d find their waiter standing there with the check in hand, only to find the stairwell empty. Mal wasn’t exactly hurting for money, but the thought behind the gesture was sweet all the same. No one had ever been so forward with their affections before, and Mal found himself both stunned and pleased.
“Where did you want to go?” Mal asked once he’d recuperated from the rush.
“I figured we could take a walk.” Vincent shrugged and held a hand out for Mal, which Mal accepted. The touch of Vincent’s skin didthingsto him, goosebump-raising, breath-taking, heart-racingthings,and while Mal didn’t want them to end, he was also aware that if he didn’t make an attempt to limit their contact, he might start to lose touch with his surroundings. When he was near Vincent, it was too easy to slip into himself and enjoy his companionship from the comfort of his own mind. Vincent had much such a great attempt to keep Mal engaged in the conversation that Mal didn’t want that to happen. He wanted Vincent to have a good time, too.
“A walk sounds fine.” Mal let his hand leave Vincent’s, although he did so reluctantly. “I don’t really know the area, so don’t expect me to be a great tour guide… but if you’re looking just to wander and talk, that’s fine with me. I took out an extended rental on my pumpkin, so it’s not going anywhere this time.”
“The pumpkin!” Vincent laughed as he led the way to the stairs. “I forgot. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that you left like you did on the night of the wedding. Rental penalties are steep.”
“Hey!” Mal snorted and shot Vincent a look. “Really?”
“Yup.” With a grin, Vincent took the stairs. He looked back up at Mal, his expression ablaze with youthful exuberance that reminded Mal of how many years divided them. “C’mon, let’s go. Sitting beneath the stars with you over dinner has me craving the real thing. You ready?”
Mal was.
They took the stairs together and left Bistro Chatelaine for the busy streets of downtown Aurora.
* * *
At almost eight at night,traffic was heavy. Cars in tightly uniform lines crawled nowhere fast, halted by shifting stoplights and the inevitability of human error. Mal kept an eye on traffic unintentionally—Vincent stood between him and the street, keeping stride while they walked, and whenever Mal stole a glance his way, he also saw sleekly painted chassis and matte black wheels.
“You know,” Mal said after they’d turned the corner and established a comfortable pace. “I’m still sorry about what happened after the wedding… about leaving you in the middle of the night.”
“Mm?” Vincent looked at him from the corner of his eye.
“I figured that a note was my best bet. I didn’t want to wake you.” The apology felt hollow, and Mal tried to establish why in the few seconds he had before the conversation lapsed in uncomfortable silence. “I guess… I wanted to get back in touch, but I assumed that it was useless, since your business card had a West Coast address.”
