That same squirmy, guilty feeling he got when he thought of those rabbits was back in full force as he leaned against the Alcrest’s kitchen counter and stared holes through his feet. The house that had once been his playground now felt like a prison, and his parents and Aaron’s parents were the wardens.
You made the mama abandon those rabbits,a voice in his head whispered.Now your parents are going to abandon you, too.
Gage blinked away tears from his eyes and folded his arms across his chest for comfort. He’d played pretend and made himself believe that he was an adult, too, but the stern faces in the kitchen made him think better of it.
He was nothing more than a child who’d made a mistake.
Don’t touch,Aaron, fifteen years younger than he currently was, whispered in his ear.
But there was no fixing what was already done. There were no take-backs as an adult—only consequences.
“He’s here,” Oli, Aaron’s father, said softly as he entered the kitchen. Gage closed his eyes and crossed his arms more tightly. He didn’t want to see the anger and disgust in Aaron’s eyes when Aaron looked at him. He’d tried so hard to be strong. “Now that we’re all together, we can get the whole story.”
Oli went to stand by his husband, Marshall, whose gray hair was carefully coiffed and who wore a collared shirt and slacks despite the early hour of the morning. The wrinkles around his eyes had deepened the intensity of his emotion, and the devastated look in his eyes was one that Gage had never seen in him before—a hopeless, drained resignation, like something from his past had come back to ruin his life all over again.
Gage knew exactly what it was that made him look that way—at an hour far too early in the morning, with no warning, Marshall had been forced to face the past he’d left behind.
There was nothing redeeming about that.
There were footsteps across the kitchen floor and movement in Gage’s peripheral vision. He was ready for Aaron to go stand by his parents—to leer at Gage as Gage unveiled the details of his troubled past. Instead, Aaron cut across the room straight to him and pulled him into a crushing embrace. Gage squeaked, then relaxed against Aaron’s chest and breathed him in.
The desert at night, just like always. Sweet, and lush, and earthy.
“BP,” Aaron croaked. It sounded like he was seconds away from tears. “Oh, fuck, don’t do that again.”
“W-What?” Gage pulled away from Aaron’s chest to look him in the eyes. Aaronwasclose to tears. There were bags under his eyes, their dark, bruise-like undertones aging him.
“Don’t go.” Aaron smoothed the hair back from his forehead, his touch gentle and affectionate. Gage didn’t understand what was going on. Aaron hadleft,and he had every reason to be angry. Why was he treating Gage with such kindness? “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t understand,” Gage admitted in a small voice.
Aaron shook his head, his expression burdened with regret. “I got angry and wasn’t thinking clearly. I needed space to clear my thoughts, but I should have left you a note. I didn’t mean to upset you, and I didn’t mean to make you run. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I treated you like I did. How can I make it up to you?”
Gage couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He floundered for words, only to find none. Instead, he looked into Aaron’s eyes and read the sincerity in them. Aaron had beenafraid. What was he supposed to make out of that? Gage had been the one in the wrong, the one who’d neglected to tell Aaron about his arrangement, even though he had no plans of following it through anymore. Why was Aaron apologizing?
Before he could gather his wits and reply, Oli cleared his throat and spoke. “Thing One, Cedric Two-Point-Oh-V-Two… I know that a lot’s gone on tonight, but let’s save the tearful apologies for after we get this sorted out, okay?”
“No.” Aaron shook his head. He took a step back from Gage and looked around the room. “Not until I know Bo’s okay. Where is he?”
“Bo is okay,” Gage replied. “Your dad put him to bed. He’s been woken from his sleep a few times tonight, and he’s tired.”
“If you want to check on him, Gabriel and I put him in the guest room.” Oli folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the oven.
Gage glanced at his parents. They stood on the opposite side of the room from Oli and Marshall, Gabriel leaning against Cedric’s side for support. Cedric had his arm around his husband, his expression flattened to try to hide the emotion at war within him. He’d come directly from work—his suit jacket was hung by the front door, and he’d rolled the sleeves of his dress shirt to his elbows, revealing the full sleeve of tattoos that ran down his right arm. In difficult times, Cedric was Gabriel’s pillar of support.
The love they had was one Gage thought he’d found in Aaron—an eternal commitment so deeply woven into who they were, it was almost spiritual. Today, that connection was being tested… but having Aaron hold him close made him think that everything was going to be okay.
Aaron shook his head. “No, it’s fine. If Gage is happy with where he is, then I’m happy.”
It was a small gesture of support, but to Gage, it meant everything.
“Gage?” Cedric’s voice redirected Gage from his thoughts. Gage glanced in his direction. His dark hair was pushed back from his face, the graying hair at his temples more noticeable than it had been the last time Gage had seen him. “Now that we’re all together, why don’t you start from the beginning?”
The beginning was hard to pinpoint, and Gage struggled to find a place to start. “I…”
He let out a breath and leaned against the counter, securing his hands to its edge. Aaron settled with him, and he stroked his pinky against Gage’s, a silent sign of support. From it, Gage found the courage to speak. “Aaron and I were dating the summer before he left for Munich. I, um… I’d been flirting with him while he was getting his master’s in California, but I was under eighteen, and he was uncomfortable with that, so nothing really happened until… until he came home for the summer after I’d graduated high school.”
There was silence, which was a small blessing, but in exchange, every eye in the room was on him. It was disconcerting, and Gage did his best not to focus on the attention. If he could have melted through the floor and disappeared, he would have.
