“Why?” Bo mumbled against his shirt.
Gage smiled. “Because I love you, and I want you to know that you’re the most important person to me. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure we’re okay.”
Mal, who stood a few paces away from Gage, looked at him in concern. “Gage?”
“Everything’s okay,” Gage promised in the same soft voice he’d used by the doorway. There were tears in his eyes that he longed to let tumble down his cheeks, but he held them back for Mal, for Bo, and for himself. All these years while waiting for Aaron to come home, he’d been focused on the wrong thing—his relationship to Aaron had to come second to his relationship with Bo. Not only did his heart demand it, but his conscience demanded it, too.
He would not cry. He’d been strong for Aaron for close to five years—he could be strong for Bo for the next several hours.
“Bo and I need to get going. We’re not going to keep you up any longer than we need to.” Gage smiled at Mal. “Thanks again.”
“No problem.” The hesitant, upward inflection of confusion shaded Mal’s reply. “If you need anything, call me again. Bo’s always such a pleasure to take care of. If I have the availability, you know I’ll always help you out.”
“You’re the best.” Gage meant it. “Have a good night, okay?”
“Sure thing. You, too.”
Mal showed Gage to the door, and it wasn’t long before Gage was back on the street. He unlocked the back door of his car and settled Bo inside.
“You wanna take a road trip, sleepy boy?” Gage asked. He strapped Bo into his car seat, checking to make sure the connections were secure. Bo looked at him with tired eyes, his face haggard in ways no young child’s should be. It was all Gage needed to convince him that what he was doing was right. “Let’s go on an adventure.”
They weren’t going back to the house tonight. They couldn’t. There were some people who deserved to meet Bo for the very first time, and Gage didn’t think they’d mind the late-night interruption.
24
Aaron
“Holy shit, Aaron!” Caleb’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “You have ason?”
“I didn’t know, either, until I stopped by Gage’s apartment to surprise him. He had no idea I was coming home, and so when he opened up the door, and there was a kid, I…” Aaron exhaled slowly. “I was confused. I thought that he’d been keeping a secret life from me, and that he’d had someone else’s baby. I was angry. But he told me the boy was mine, and I…”
“Fuck, what if he’s not?” Caleb shot back his liquor, then headed back to the cabinet. The cork clogging the neck of the same bottle he’d poured from before made a satisfyingpopas he wrenched it loose. With a shake of his head, Caleb filled the shot glass back up, held the mostly empty bottle up to examine, then shrugged and downed what remained. When he returned to stand in front of Aaron, he put the shot glass down next to the first and gestured at them. “You need this more than I do, and evenIfeel like I need a drink. What the hell is going on in your life?”
“I don’t know,” Aaron admitted. He slumped back on the couch and tilted his head back until he stared at the tray ceiling. “I don’t know what to think or feel anymore. I was coming home to marry him, Caleb. I rushed through my PhD, gave up my summers and weekends, and pushed my lab team like crazy for… forthis.” It occurred to Aaron that the ring was still in his pocket. He freed it and placed it on the table by the shot glasses. “I was going to propose tonight, and then…”
It felt like the ring was cursed, but Aaron knew that was a projection, and he tried his best not to entertain the notion. The problem was in himself and in Gage, whether he wanted to admit it or not.
Caleb looked at him flatly and spoke just as incredulously as he looked. “You were going to propose to him in your polar bear pajamas.”
“No.” Aaron planted a hand in front of his face. “I was going to propose to him over dinner, but we got sidetracked, so I was going to do it in bed.”
“So, technically, youweregoing to propose to him in your polar bear pajamas.” Aaron shot Caleb a look that made Caleb snicker. “I’m giving you a hard time. If you want me to stop, I will. Just… wow. What a shit show. I can see why you’d want some space.”
“I didn’t think Gage was that kind of person,” Aaron murmured. He kept his gaze on the engagement ring on the table. It was made of beveled black tungsten and engraved with a simple pattern to draw the eye and add texture. When Aaron had first seen it, he’d thought of the relationship he shared with Gage—sturdy and dependable, but nuanced in simple ways that made it unbelievably beautiful. If their relationship had been flashier, would it have made a difference? Would Gage have wanted to stay?
“I didn’t think Gage was that kind of person, either,” Caleb said. “But all the evidence is pointing toward there being some serious communication and trust issues.”
Caleb looked at the shot glasses, glanced at Aaron for permission, then snagged one from the table and downed it. The ensuing sigh of satisfaction was sinful. He set the shot glass down and returned to his armchair. “Says the guy who doesn’t do relationships, so, you know, take what I have to say with a grain of salt.”
“It’s complicated.”
Caleb laughed. “Fucking understatement of the year right there. You’re supposed to be the good son… how the hell am I going to top this?”
“I’m sure you’ll find a way,” Aaron said flatly, matching his brother’s earlier tone.
“Gee. Thanks.” Caleb grinned at him. “So, what are you going to do? Are you going to break it off with him? I mean, you haven’t proposed yet, so it’s not like you’re really tethered to him. The whole maybe-your-baby thing is troublesome, but you could set up child support if he is biologically yours.”
The thought pierced Aaron’s heart like molten shrapnel. “No.”
