“Want?” Caleb sat forward, eyebrows furrowing. “After all that, you still want him back?”
Caleb wasn’t done. He squirmed until he was in an upright position, then moved from the armchair to a finely constructed wooden cabinet against the wall. He opened its doors to reveal a carefully arranged row of liquor bottles and selected one that was almost empty—Aaron didn’t recognize the label. As he divided its contents between two crystal shot glasses, he spoke. “If you have such conclusive evidence that he cheated on you—that it went as far asmarriage,which is pretty fucking far, if you ask me—then stop hurting yourself. He’s not the one for you. Let me find you someone to rebound with and let’s get you back in the game.”
“No.” Aaron’s heart would never allow that. No matter what Gage did to him, he would always love him, and he would always be there for their family. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” Caleb set one of the shot glasses on the coffee table in front of Aaron, but Aaron didn’t reach for it.
He could tell Caleb the truth and hope that he’d understand what Aaron was going through, or he could continue to speak in vague terms and hope that Caleb could forgive him for it later. But lies and deceptions were behind why he was visiting Caleb late at night, wearing nothing more than his shoes and his polar bear pajama pants. Gage had kept a truth from him, and it had torn him apart.
How could he do the same to Caleb? To the rest of his family?
Aaron loved Gage, but there was room in his heart for those nearest him, too. His brother, his fathers, his honorary cousins…
A decision was made. He lifted his gaze and looked Caleb in the eyes, managing to speak clearly and factually before his sorrow got the best of him and he succumbed to it again. “There are other factors at play now… more people involved in my relationship with Gage than just him and me.” Tears rushed down Aaron’s cheeks. When he spoke again, his voice broke. “Gage made me a father close to four years ago, Caleb, and while I don’t know that little boy very well, I know that I’d do anything for him. Anything at all. I don’t want to leave. I can’t. I need to be there for my son.”
23
Gage
Gage leaned on the wall outside the door to Mal’s apartment and sent him a message.
I’m outside. Figured I wouldn’t knock, since Bo should be sleeping. Let me in?
A second later, the lock disengaged, and Mal opened the door. He poked his head out into the hallway, glanced down the wrong way, then looked in Gage’s direction and startled himself. His glasses slipped down his nose crookedly, and Mal rushed to push them back up. If Gage hadn’t been so devastated, he would have laughed.
“Hey,” Mal said. “You spooked me. Sorry. For some reason, I thought you’d be down that way.” He gestured in the way he’d originally looked. “I’m not sure why.”
“I think we’re all feeling a little weird tonight.” Gage kept his voice soft and low. He hoped that he could pass it off as an attempt not to make noise so Bo would stay asleep. In reality, he was fearful that if he spoke too loudly, Mal would hear the sorrow in his voice and ask about it. Gage wasn’t ready to have those wounds prodded. He knew that he’d done wrong, and he knew that it was up to him to fix it. “Is Bo in bed?”
“Mmhm. He fell asleep three, maybe four hours ago?” Mal checked over his shoulder, then stepped away from the door to let Gage in. The lights were out, and while Mal was fully dressed, Gage had a feeling that he’d woken him up. “I think all the running around today really wiped him out. I haven’t seen him this tired in a long time.”
“Mm.” Gage pushed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, attempting to overcome the distress stacking inside of him. Bo was sick, Aaron was gone, and he was left with his mistakes. “Thank you for looking after him, and thank you for letting me come pick him up so late at night. I know that I’m inconveniencing you.”
“No, not really.” Mal yawned. He headed down the short front hallway of his apartment to the living room. “I’m glad that I can help you. Besides, I’m going to have to be up at odd hours once I have my baby, anyway.”
It was odd to think that sweet, quiet Mal was getting ready to be a father. He’d been Gage’s babysitter when Gage was too young to be left on his own, and now, he babysat Bo. Gage had never understood why Mal had never found a partner and settled down when it was clear he loved caring for children, but Gage had never dared to ask. All he knew from eavesdropping on his parents and Mal was that there’d been an incident.
A vague, mildly ominous incident.
He had a feeling that whatever it was had held Mal back from achieving his dreams. Almost fifteen years later, Gage still didn’t know what had happened, but he was glad to see that Mal wasn’t letting it hold him back anymore. A baby would be good for him, even if he was much older than most first-time child bearers. Mal was mature, had his finances in order, and was capable of providing his child with a stable life.
Gage wished he could say the same.
Bo was asleep on the chaise lounger by the window, the same place he was every time Gage came by late to pick him up. Mal had a toddler bed set up in his spare bedroom, but Bo had never taken to it. He preferred to rest on an incline, his chest elevated by the angle of the seat. Mal had tucked him in beneath one of his favorite blankets.
The strained sounds of his breathing were audible from across the room.
“How long is it going to be before the test results are in?” Mal asked as Gage moved to Bo’s side.
“A week, I think. Something about sending it to the lab for testing, and… I don’t know. I don’t know how any of that works.” Carefully, Gage lifted the blanket from around Bo and scooped him up into his arms.
Bo stirred. He mumbled something and opened his eyes, then made a small sound of surprise when he saw Gage. “Daddy.”
“Hey, baby boy,” Gage said. He held Bo to his chest, balancing some of his weight on his hip. He was getting so big. “I’m sorry to wake you up.”
“Is it morning time?” Bo’s voice creaked and popped. He cleared his throat, but it didn’t seem to help. Frustrated, he buried his head against Gage’s shoulder. “Tired,Daddy.”
“It’s still night time,” Gage said. He rocked Bo slowly side to side and kissed the top of his head. “Something happened and I needed to come see you.”
