Truelove.
He would never mistake itagain.
* * *
“Dad,”Matthew hissed through gritted teeth. His hands were clamped onto the railings lining either side of the birthing bed, and his feet were up in stirrups. Alex stood by the bedside in silent support, partially fascinated, and partially terrified. In two months, he’d be in the same position Matthew was in, trying to pass the small human who’d hitched a ride in his uterus. “I’m going tokillsomeone.”
“You’re almost there, Matthew,” Laurence said. He stood on the opposite side of the bed from Alex, a hand on Matthew’s back. Matthew had curled upward, his position twisted in a way that looked incredibly uncomfortable. Nurses buzzed around the bed, and Matthew’s obstetrician had come into the room—a sign that progress was about to be made. “Just a little more. You’re capable. You can dothis.”
“I’m going tokill him for doing this to me,” Matthew seethed. He bit back a scream, then collapsed backward onto the bed. Sweat beaded on his brow and matted his hair. There’d been a thin hospital sheet over his body a few hours ago that he’d insisted on keeping in place for modesty, and it was now draped over the edge of the bed. Matthew had ripped it off in a near-murderous rage not all that long ago. “I hate this! It—ahh!”
“We’re crowning,” a nurse declared. “Don’t push, sweetie. Let it go numb. You’re almostthere.”
Tears mingled with the sheen of sweat on Matthew’s face. He made a few, pathetic noises and remained as still as he could, panting. Alex didn’t want to look at his progress—he’d only start to worry about what it would be like when he was at this same stage of delivery in a couple of months’time.
“You’ve got this,” Laurence assured him. “You’ve been so good so far. Just a littlemore.”
“I need to push,” Matthew uttered. He adjusted his position, a haunted look in his eyes. “I need to pushrightnow.”
“Not yet, sweetie,” the nurse said. “You need to rest just a little longer. A few more minutes,tops.”
“Ineed to push.” Matthew looked more distressed than Alex had ever seen him before, and without thinking, Alex reached out to take his hand. The fear and confusion stripped itself from Matthew’s face, and he looked at Alex insurprise.
“You can do this,” Alex told him softly. “Hold on just a little longer. You’ve already been through hell, right? So what’s another fewminutes.”
Matthew let loose with a single, rattling sob, then threw his head back onto the pillow and shut his eyes. Alex saw the change in the rise and fall of his chest—he was trying to focus on hisbreathing.
“Good job,” Laurence told him. “You’re doing great. Keepgoing.”
Matthew made a sound in the back of his throat that was partially high-pitched and partially grunted. He squeezed Alex’s hand, and Alex squeezed back insupport.
“Push now, sweetie,” the nurse told him. “Go ahead andpush.”
The hand clutching Alex’s tightened substantially, and Matthew let loose with a noise that rattled in his throat and rang in Alex’s ears. He curled up, like before, pressure tightening the features of his face. Teeth clenched, eyelids pinched shut, and neck braced, Matthewpushed.
The shrill cry of a newborn cut through the room, and in a flurry of activity, the baby was delivered and placed on Matthew’schest.
Matthew started tosob.
“Congratulations,” Dr. McDowell, Matthew’s obstetrician, said. “It’s agirl.”
“A girl,” Matthew choked through his tears. He had settled back onto the bed, but he lifted his head so he could look at his daughter for the first time. Alex released his hand, and Matthew used it to stroke a single finger down his daughter’s cheek. “I made a littlegirl.”
The baby was smaller than Bo had been after Gage had delivered. Her tiny hands were curled into fists, and her movements were jerky as she tested the limits of her new world. She cried to announce her presence, her lungs strong and her voice powerful. Alex smiled. Maybe there were two kids in the world he couldtolerate.
Three, once his babyarrived.
“You did such a good job.” Laurence brushed the damp hair out of Matthew’s face and smiled down at him, and Alex found himself holding his breath as his heart went wild. Laurence’s love for Matthew shone through in his eyes and lifted the corners of his mouth in a small, adoring smile that Alex swore he’d never forget. Matthew was grown now—or at least, well on his way to being an independent young man—but Laurence’s love for his child still burnedstrong.
Purple. Beautiful.Whole.
When the time came that Alex delivered, their baby would be given the same kind of unconditional love, and Alex would get to see that smile again and again. He’d get to stand by Laurence’s side while they witnessed all of the incredible firststogether.
First smile. First laugh. First word. Firststep.
Tears beaded in Alex’s eyes, and he dotted them on his sleeve. Laurence didn’t want him to touch his hands to his face—hospitals were germ-filled, and Alex’s immune system was delicate while he shared it with theirchild.
They were going to be happy. It still felt like adream.
