“No.” Cedric closed his eyes and let his shoulders slump. “I couldn’t give less of a shit about my career. Right now, all I can think about is how I hurt Gabriel. How am I supposed to make thisright?”
Another long silence passed between them. Cedric opened his eyes a sliver, staring at the ceiling through his lashes. Gabriel was broken—shattered into a million little pieces. He’d shown tremendous progress over the past few weeks, but was it enough? He’d pieced together the dirty truth about Gabriel’s past, and he’d learned about his heartbreak. Until just a few weeks ago, he’d been in love with Garrison Baylor, whom Cedric had come to believe was one of the most deplorable men on the planet. He wasn’t ready to sleep with anyone yet, let alone Cedric, who’d been acting as his pillar of strength after a highly traumaticevent.
Gabriel couldn’t give consent. Cedric had fooled himself into thinking that he could because his attraction to Gabriel burned like wildfire set loose on a field of dryer lint, and the only way to extinguish the flames was to give in to the heat. But now? Removed from temptation and left to process what had happened, he knew he’d done wrong. Gabriel trusted him, and he’d betrayed that trust by taking things between them too far. It didn’t matter how much he liked Gabriel—the fact was, there was no way Cedric could give in to his desire without turning Gabriel into avictim.
If Brittany were there to see what he’d done, she never would have forgiven him. Heknewbetter.
“I’m not ignoring you,” Oli said, choosing his words carefully. “I’m just… I’m kind of in awe that your biggest concern right now is making things right with the omega who wants to jump on your dick instead of the alpha who could rocket your career to superstar levels. From what you told me, he came on toyou. Why are you feeling so torn upaboutit?”
“Because he doesn’t know any better.” Cedric sat up straight, then thought better of it and slumped down onto the table. The Bailey’s-infused coffee waited inches away from his head. “This Garrison Baylor guy he was going on and on about? He ran an omega sex ring, Oli. He took kids from their homes—kids who’d just gone through their first heats—and pretended that he was their boyfriend… that he could make things right for them, if they would only do him this one littlefavor…”
“The White Lotus bust?” Oli’s tone changed. “ThatBaylor?”
“You knowaboutit?”
“It was all over the news. Some hotshot attorney dating one of Baylor’s boys just shot down that bastard’s appeal and made sure he’s serving life in jail for what he did. It’s kind of big fucking news,Cedric.”
“The name sounded familiar, but I guess it neverclicked.”
“Because you aren’t an omega, I guess.” There was distance in Oli’s reply, not spiteful, but not exactly friendly, either. “If you were an omega, you would have known. It’s been… it’s been showing a lot of people’s true colors, who stands up for what’s right, and who casts a blind eye. There was trouble deciding on a jury, because good old prejudice runs that deep, even today. When he was able to appeal, there were almost riots. If your boy was trying to get back to that creep, then I can see where you’re coming from. No sane person would want to go back to a situation like that. He beat those boys. He abused them. He raped them. I’ve been reading the court transcripts, and it’s…it’sugly.”
Cedric didn’t want to hear more. Imagining the things done to Gabriel at the hands of a monster was too hard to swallow. “Then what am I supposed to do? He can’t give consent, but I went ahead and tried to have sex with him,anyway.”
Nothing that Oli said was sarcastic anymore. “But you didn’t. You stopped yourself. It’s okay to be tempted, especially if he was trying to seduce you, but the fact that you took control of the situation and shot it down before you went any further shows that you’re aware that he’s off-limits. I think now, the kindest thing you can do for him is call your boss and tell him what happened, then ask him to remove Gabriel from your care. He’s not going to understand right now, but one day, when he’s better, he’s going to appreciate what you didforhim.”
It was the conclusion Cedric had been dreading, but the one he knew they’d come to. There was no other way. He’d taken things too far, and now he had to take drastic steps to make sure they never went that far again. Last night was proof that his body was weak, and his mind was even weaker. If Gabriel tempted him again, he’dgivein.
The only thing to do was send Gabriel away before he made a mistake he couldn’t take back. A kiss was one matter, but anything more? Cedric couldn’t live with himself if thathappened.
“I know it’s not going to be easy for you, but it’s the right thing to do.” Oli’s voice was sympathetic, but sympathy did nothing to unwind the struggle tying Cedric’s soul into knots. “And I think… I think in the end, maybe it’s a good thing. No matter what happens to you professionally, you’ve acted with integrity. And more than that, I think it’s a good step forward. Since Brit passed, it’s… you haven’t been yourself,youknow?”
Cedric said nothing. He already knew itwastrue.
“I don’t know if you’ve been hooking up with people since she was laid to rest, but you haven’t… you haven’t been interested in people for a long time, and I think maybe this is a positive step forward. Even if you can’t be with him, it’s proof that you can still feel. One of these days, you’re going to meet someone who knocks you off your feet again. Your heart isn’t dead. There’s still so much out there for you to celebrate, and so much love for you to give. He may not be the one for you, but he’s the one who’s given you what you need to find thatperson.”
“Right.” It was hard not to sound bitter when Cedric’s heart told him one thing, but his mind told him another. Injured or not, Gabriel was someone special. Cedric had met enough people in his life to know that he wasn’t right for everyone—but Gabriel? Without trying, Gabriel had lifted his spirits and made him feel again, and that was more precious than Oli couldeverknow.
Oli hesitated. “So you’re going to call that Silver dude,right?”
“Sterling.Andyes.”
“And you’re going to ask him to take Gabrielbackhome?”
“… Yes.” Even the thought tasted bitter. Cedric didn’t want Gabriel to go, but he couldn’t see a way around it. He’d failed, and this was his punishment. “I’ll give him a call once thesun’sup.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” Oli paused. “And Cedric? I’m proud of you. It really takes balls to do what you’redoing.”
“Thanks.”
The call ended after half-hearted goodbyes. Cedric curled his arms on the table and buried his face in them, facing the reality of what he had to do, even as his heart begged him to dootherwise.
29
Gabriel
Heat.
Sweltering,blisteringheat.
