What was Cedric supposed to say? Resorting to something tactful like,I don’t think it’s a good idea I return you to a sex offender,wasn’t going to fly. The worry on Gabriel’s face, and the growing concern in his eyes, proved that he didn’t care about Garrison’s crimes. Siding with something more blunt like,Hell no, I’m not going to give you over to an imprisoned criminal,felt just as weak and unsatisfactory. Cedric watched the feed scroll onward, loading story after story about Garrison’s recently overturned appeal, until he could take no more. He pressed his finger against the screen, blocking Gabriel’s panicked scrolling, then spoke the only words he could think to say. “I’msorry.”
Three syllables were all it took. The phone dropped from Gabriel’s hand, and he let loose with a choked sob so twisted that it almost sounded alien. Almost, because Cedric did recognize it—it was a sound that had once rattled free from his lungs and constricted histhroat,too.
Grief.
The phone was unimportant. It toppled between Gabriel’s thighs and met the bed, then slid off and landed on the floor. The impact was lessened by the silicone phone case cushioning the sides, but Cedric was unconcerned with the state of his device. In that moment, it didn’t matter if his phone was broken or not—not when Gabriel was falling topieces.
“I j-just want to go to him,” Gabriel sobbed, his voice pitched so high that it was almost unintelligible. “I w-want to be with him. I don’t c-care whereheis.”
“I’m sorry.” Cedric hoped Gabriel knew his words were sincere. The situation bothered him more than he cared to admit, but that didn’t mean Gabriel’s pain went unacknowledged. Once, a handful of years ago, Cedric had been in the exact same place when he’d lost Brittany. The agony of losing a loved one was the same, whether that loved one was a criminal or not. “I know that it’snoteasy.”
“N-no you d-don’t.” Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut, but tears streamed from their corners and traced glossy trails down his cheek. “I left him. I l-let myself be t-taken. If I’d been st-stronger, I would have been with him. We could have beentogether.” Gabriel’s sobbing reached a new, warbling peak, and he choked the last word out through clenched teeth. A few racking sobs shook his whole body before he pulled himself together enough to speak again. “W-we were going to get m-married. He was g-going to give me afamily.”
There was no ring on Gabriel’s finger, and Cedric didn’t think he was old enough to be thinking about marriage and babies. What was going on in Gabriel’s head? What vile things had been done to him during his time with Garrison to shape his view of the world this way? Cedric thought he knew, but the truth was too ugly to reflect on for long. He let it go, and with it, he let go of every notion he had about the omega at his side to cling to fact, and factalone.
Gabriel was kind, even if he was skittish. He was gentle, even when the world was against him. He was bold, because he had to be, and even when he was scared, he pushed past his fear to do what he felt had to be done. Cedric hadn’t known Gabriel for long, but he already knew those things as truth, and he held them close to his heart. No negativity would affect his perception of the young man at his side. No dark history would shade Gabriel in his eyes. The past was the past—Cedric had reminded himself of that time and time again, and it was about time he started listening tohimself.
He would not let past events influence his understanding of Gabriel as a person, just like he wouldn’t let past events influence his understanding of himself. They were not tethered to history. History shaped them, but the present and the future were theirs to mold as they wished. Until he was proven wrong, Cedric would think of Gabriel the same as he always had—as the scared little rabbit who’d strayed too far from his burrow. What he’d learned changed nothing except his understanding of Gabriel’sneeds.
The reason why Sterling had wanted Gabriel cared for was obvious to him now—Gabriel didn’t know how to take care ofhimself.
Always seeking guidance, even if that guidance was from strangers, timid to a fault, and so low in self-esteem that he was paralyzed when he took action into his own hands, Gabriel needed someone not just to dominate him, but someone who would be his advocate. He needed a partner whose stern touch would not only see him safely through the day, but whose interest in his wellbeing would ensure that he made steps toward being the best version of himself that he could be. A regular Dom wouldn’t do. Gabriel’s case required not just sensitivity, but the attention of a man who valued him as an equal, even as that man made Gabriel submit. What Sterling had proposed wasn’t an attempt to sabotage Cedric’s position at The Shepherd—Sterling saw in him a man able to chip away at the years of abuse done to an individual already so vulnerable within society. He believed that Cedric could do right byGabriel.
A flood of emotion struck Cedric, and for a moment, as Gabriel sobbed inconsolably at his side, he allowed himself to let go of every fear that was holdinghimback.
There were no games being played. The task he’d been given was monumental, and it required unwavering trust on the part of Sterling and Adrian. There was no one conspiring to strip him of his opportunity to land the job at The Shepherd—in fact, it was the opposite. In Gabriel, he’d been given a chance at afuture.
Now Cedric had to decide what direction he wanted that future togoin.
In Gabriel, Cedric saw himself as he’d once been—lost, confused, and hurt that life could be so cruel. No one had been there to help Cedric through those times, and the months he’d spent in mourning were cold and lonely things that he tried to push fromhismind.
Notanymore.
The pain he’d suffered and the isolation he’d weathered gave him the experience he needed to help Gabriel through the worst time of his life. Sterling knew it, and he’d used it to make the best decision he could for his brother-in-law.
United in grief, they could rise together. Gabriel wouldn’t have to feel so alone, andCedric…
Cedric wouldn’t have to feel so alone anymore,either.
There would be no more soft-spoken words, and no more walking on eggshells. Cedric understood what Gabriel needed, because for so long, his soul had needed exactly the same thing. He reached out and tangled his fingers through Gabriel’s hair, directing his head upward until Gabriel opened his eyes and met Cedric’s gaze. The distance between them was scant, and Cedric’s heart jumped into his throat as Gabriel’s blue eyes, puffy from crying, looked upathim.
He wasbeautiful.
Even in sorrow, even when he was uncertain of himself, there was underlying beauty in Gabriel that couldn’t be denied. It was in the delicate angles of his face, and the way his slender form lent itself more to art than it did real life. It was in the soul behind his eyes, and the timid way he conducted himself. Like a piece of pottery broken and fitted back together with gold, the fragmented parts of who he was made him unique—they did not lessen him in any way. Cedric noticed because so often, he, too, felt like he’d been shattered. For so long, he hadn’t been sure if he could piece himself back together. With Gabriel, he knew otherwise. He saw Gabriel’s strength, even if Gabriel wasn’t ready to embrace it yet. He noticed the pieces large and small, even the tiniest fragments that threatened to be lost. They were both works in process—finished pieces of art that had been subjected to undesirable conditions, but that could still be brought back to life. There was still growth to come. Gabriel would find himself, just like Cedric had once found himself. He’d pick up the pieces and he’d slot them back together, and he’d do it because there was no other way to move forward. No one else would do it for him—but Cedric could at least hold those pieces while Gabriel fought to give themorder.
He would be there. He would be the pillar of strength Gabriel needed. And maybe together, as they worked toward restoring Gabriel’s fragmented soul, the cracks in their foundations would be filled, and the pain they both harbored deep inside would beexpressed.
Maybe together, theycouldheal.
“You will get through this, Gabriel.” Cedric didn’t try to offer condolence. Gabriel wasn’t ready to hear it. In a state of shock, stripped of his future, his whole life was in free fall. Until he came close to hitting the ground, Cedric couldn’t catch him, and he wouldn’t try. The plunge was needed. Mourning was part of the process. Cedric would not take that from him. “You won’t feel this wayforever.”
“Y-y-you don’t know that.” Gabriel’s eyes were squeezed shut again, and he crossed his arms over his chest so tightly that Cedric was concerned he might pull a muscle. “You a-aren’t me. You d-don’tknow.”
“Then let me prove it to you.” Cedric pulled Gabriel to his chest. In return, Gabriel uncrossed his arms to latch on to Cedric. His fingers curled so tightly in Cedric’s shirt that the cotton collar bit into the back of his neck. “Be mine. You don’t have to forget about where you came from, and you don’t have to let go of your pain, but what I tell you, and the things I ask you to do? Listen to them. Obey them. Give yourself to me, and let me prove that it doesn’t have to feel this wayforever.”
Gabriel’s fingers tightened. Hot tears soaked into Cedric’s shirt, wetting his skin. He paid them no attention. “Y-youpromise?”
“I promise.” Cedric let a hand wander along the back of Gabriel’s head, hoping the touch might help soothe Gabriel’s heartache. “You’re not alone. You don’t have to face this pain by yourself. Iwantto help you, and I will help you, if only you trust me enough to letmein.”
