If he had to call every last one of them out, he would. The Shepherd was an escape—a place where he could be who he wanted to be without the reminder of the failure he was. He would not allow a place so dear to his heart to bepolluted.
He would not let another person ruin his life. Not everagain.
Adrian’s fist met the door. Three sharp raps echoed through the stairwell. The small landing Adrian stood upon was wide enough for three people to stand comfortably, and the acoustics of the empty space provided excellent amplification. He only hoped the sound carried as well on Sterling’s side ofthedoor.
A moment passed, then grew long and awkward. Adrian shifted his weight from one leg to another, then clenched his fists. Sterling had invited him here, so why the hell wasn’t he answeringthedoor?
Just as Adrian was getting ready to leave, the door clicked, then swung open. Light streamed through, flooding Adrian’s eyes and depriving him of sight as his pupils adjusted to the stimuli. There, bathed in a halo of light, stood the sturdy figure of the man Adrian had cometosee.
“That was timely,” Sterling remarked. His form was still hidden by shadow, and Adrian struggled to make out his details. “I was just about to pour somedrinks.”
“I’m not here to have a tea party,Sterling.”
“And I’m not here to entertain you.” Sterling stepped back from the door. “Now come in. Let’s get you seated. We have a lot to talkabout.”
Adrian didn’t bother to bite back. He stepped through the doorway and found himself in a small entryway, barricaded from the rest of the penthouse by doors not unlike those in The Shepherd’s first-floor lobby. It looked like Sterling had gone through the expense of soundproofing his haven. Howquaint.
“There’s plenty of room in the living room, if you’d care to sit.” Sterling opened the heavy door opposite Adrian and held it open. Long, narrow strips of dark, glossy wood flooring laid in square herringbone patterns across the floor on the other side. The walls were a dark, muted brown and bore delicate, vertical woodgrain designs. Had it not been for the abundance of light and the impeccable eye for decor, the room would have been dreary. Either Sterling had hired a top-notch decorator, or he had an outstanding eye for detail and design. Adrian’s gaze flicked to the fitted suit Sterling wore and the way it filled out his shoulders and lent sturdiness to his torso, then the way the upper limits of his pants shaped themselves to his thighs. If Sterling’s jacket hadn’t been in the way, Adrian was sure those pants would have highlighted aphenomenalass.
Decorator didn’t seem as likely when Sterling dressed himselflikethat.
Despite himself, a thrill rushed Adrian’s core. Sterling was an asshole, but damned if he wasn’tattractive.
“Adrian?” Sterling glanced over his shoulder, a browarched.
Adrian shook his head. Thoughts like those needed to be shelved and never revisited. “I’mcoming.”
The mischievous twinkle in Sterling’s eyes and the upward curve of his lip laughed even when his mouth didn’t. Adrian scowled, but followed him into the penthouse regardless. When the door closed behind him, it dampened the sound of the club. Only the ringing in Adrian’s earsremained.
Silence on a Friday night was a bizarre occurrence, and Adrian wasn’t sure helikedit.
“The living room is beyond this wall.” Sterling was on the move again, no longer looking at Adrian. The penthouse was a work of art, but the way Sterling moved through it with grace and dominion made it pale in comparison to his splendor. He owned the space—its grandeur would never outshine him. “You’ll get settled there, and I’ll be with you in asecond.”
Sterling disappeared around the corner in the direction of the living room, leaving Adrian on his own. Without Sterling’s watchful eye to guide him, Adrian took his time and let himself focus on the small details. According to Adrian’s father, the state of a man’s house spoke to his character. If that was to be believed, Adrian didn’t know what to think aboutSterling.
Was he well put together? Definitely. Was he a man of expensive, exquisite taste? Without a doubt. But there was a rigid formality to the penthouse that struck a sore spot inside of Adrian and woke troublesome, nostalgic feelings that had long beendormant.
The penthouse was beautiful and impeccably designed, but Adrian knew that order only masked chaos. The more a man struggled to pull his life together, the more meticulous his living space became. To Adrian, each careful, but ultimately meaningless choice Sterling had made while decorating his private quarters didn’t reflect on his style so much as it reflected on a lack of control elsewhere in his life. The location of the penthouse only reinforced that belief. It was hard to forget that just a few feet beneath them, strangers were meeting, connecting, and pleasuring each other—that for every moan of pleasure the soundproofed floors blocked out was a cry of agony quick to peakwithlust.
Sterling’s paradise was built over a kingdom he’d created, an antithesis to the serenity the penthouse offered. It led Adrian to believe that somewhere deep inside, Sterling washurting,too.
But no matter how badly Sterling was hurting, it didn’t excuse his behavior. Adrian wouldn’t forget the way Sterling had pinned him to the wall and taken his phone like he was a playground bully. Adrian’s attitude left much to be desired, but he never got physically aggressive with anyone—he never forced anyone to submit. By pinning him, Sterling had taken away hisagency.
That wasn’t right, and Adrian wasn’t going to letitgo.
He turned the corner to find that beyond the wall, the penthouse opened up. A spacious living room with leather furniture and low tables waited for him. Two doors lined the far wall and marked the start of a hallway, blocked off by the back wall of the kitchen. The kitchen and the dining room attached to it were open concept, divided from the living room by glass paneling and two hinged glass doors left open. Sterling busied himself there, doing what, Adrian didn’t caretosee.
Adrian took a seat on one of Sterling’s couches and looped an arm over the back cushion. The leather was cool against his bare skin, and for a moment, he allowed himself to close his eyes and savor the sensation. There was no sense in being overly worked up. The more he let Sterling under his skin, the more irrationally he’d behave, and the harder it would be to win the argument they were undoubtedly abouttohave.
In the kitchen, Sterling added ice to a drinking glass. A cork popped open. Liquid spilled from a long-necked bottle, the brief splash as it hit the bottom of the glass interrupted by the rattle of ice. A carbonated hiss followed, then footsteps. Adrian opened his eyes to find Sterling on his way in through the open kitchen doors. He held two colorless drinks, each decorated with a wedgeoflime.
Adrian glanced from the drinks to Sterling. His short, blond hair framed his rugged face, accented by darker stubble that spread across his jaw. It was the first time Adrian had seen Sterling in the light without having to squint, and he took a moment to notice all the things about Sterling he’d never noticedbefore.
Age creased the skin around the corners of Sterling’s eyes, and although his skin was clear, his hands were calloused. When Sterling held one of the drinks toward Adrian, the thickness of his nails and the prevalence of his knuckles caught Adrian’s eye. It wasn’t that Sterling was old or undesirable—as far as Adrian was concerned, he wore his age as well as he wore his suit—but there was a somber maturity to him that Adrian hadn’t expected to find in a man who’d opened a kink club in the heart of downtownAurora.
Adrian pushed the thoughts from his mind and drew himself back into the moment. He was here for a reason, and he had torememberthat.
Sterling wasn’t hisfriend.
