“I know that you’re upset, and you have every right to be, but you need to calm down.” Sterling set a hand on Adrian’s shoulder and did his best to exude a calming presence, but Adrian was beyond saving. “You’re pregnant, Adrian. You need to keep breathing forthebaby.”
“I am not some chattel you can order around however you want!” Adrian pushed Sterling’s chest hard enough that Sterling took a few steps back. He hit the wall of the shower stall, and his hand left Adrian’s shoulder. “If I’m angry, I’m going to be goddamn angry! I don’t care what you want, or what youthink.”
It was rare that Sterling lost his temper. On the day he’d lost his mother, he’d made a promise to Clarissa that he would be there for her—that she would never have to worry about being alone. With their father always absent, her care fell to Sterling, and Sterling had done everything in his power to provide for her in the same way that their father wouldn’t. He’d resolved to never lose his temper, and to approach even the most unfair and hurtful situations with tact and understanding. Clarissa was twelve years his junior, and he understood that there were times when they wouldn’t see eye to eye. But Adrian’s anger? His willingness to lash out and attack when Sterling had done everything in his power to provide for him? To offer him and their child a cohesive, lovingfamily?
Sterling would not take the abuse. He had done nothingwrong.
“I’m not trying to control you.” Sterling’s voice was harsher than he would have preferred, but he couldn’t help himself. Adrian had struck a nerve. “You need to understand that there is a life inside you—a life that I already love and want to care for. For as long as our child is inside you, it’s your responsibility to careforit.”
“My brother was abducted by one of the most vile men on the planet, brainwashed into thinking he was in love with him, and forced to do god knows what, and you’re going to treat me likeI’mthe problem?” Adrian encroached on Sterling. He jabbed a finger at Sterling’s chest hard enough to hurt. “I’m not the problem here, Sterling. I was never the problem. Do you want to know what theproblemis?”
“The problem is that Gabriel needs therapy. We need to get him help right away.” Sterling would not crumble. He would not give in. He was angry enough that it showed in his voice, but Adrian was still the same man who’d stunned Sterling with his razor-sharp tongue and his scathing snark, and he was still the father of Sterling’schild.
“No, the problem is that you’ve got it in your head all of a sudden that we’re this happy little family. But you know what? We’re not. I don’t want this baby, and I don’t wantyou.There is nowe. I came here because I had to protect what is mine. I didn’t know where else to go. If you think that I’m going to let you waltz into my life and pretend that you’ve always been there, that you’re suddenly a Lowe, too, and that you give a single shit about our home situation or what happened in Gabriel’s past, then you’re mistaken. There isnothingbetween us.Nothing.And you will never convince meotherwise.”
Like a beast caged and then prodded at through the bars with sharpened sticks, Sterling set his teeth. His hands clenched, and he squeezed until the rounds of his fingertips dug into hispalms.
The walls were back. He’d taken them down piece by piece the night before in an attempt to get through to Adrian—to show him that there were other ways to deal with his pain than by forcing it onto others—but all of it had been for naught. In an act of self-preservation, Adrian had closed himself off, and he was falling into the same traps Sterling had seen him fall intobefore.
Adrian’s misery isolated him. It surrounded him in barbs that prevented anyone from getting close. Without help, he would always feel this way, but what was Sterling supposedtodo?
If Adrian didn’t want him there, he wouldn’t force his way into Adrian’s life. All he could do was remain committed to his beliefs and hope that Adrian would see the harmhe’ddone.
After what they’d shared last night, and how Adrian had let it all go, Sterling knew there was still a chance they could see this stormthrough.
“All I want to do is help you and Gabriel.” Sterling kept his expression as unaffected as he could. “If there’s anything that I can do, any way that I can help, all you have to do is letmeknow.”
Adrian shook his head. He took a few small steps back. Worry plagued his eyes, but he didn’t let it show in his body. He said nothing. When the bathroom door closed behind him, leaving Sterling alone, he’d said all he neededtosay.
The situation with Gabriel was a mess, but the turmoil in Adrian’s soul would never be resolved if he didn’t take steps to correct it. Sterling knew what it felt like to be stretched thin while caring for someone else. Once upon a time, he’d been in Adrian’s shoes, and although the circumstances were different, the pain and the struggle were the same. They’d both lost someone dear to them, and they’d both struggled to get back to normal in the wake of a tragedy. Sterling only wished that Adrian wouldunderstand.
That day, no matter how hot Sterling ran the water, he couldn’t get clean. The grime that stuck to him hid in places he couldn’t scrub—his mind, his stomach, and hisheart.
23
Adrian
An hour and a half later,long after Sterling had left the bathroom, and then the penthouse, Adrian sat cross-legged on the bed he’d shared with Gabriel. Water still dripped from his hair, and his skin was heated and damp from his quick shower. The scent of Sterling’s body wash and shampoo was distracting, sparking both irritation and guilt in Adrian every time he breatheditin.
He hadn’t meant to go off on Sterling, but after hearing what had happened to Gabriel, he couldn’t help himself. It was too much to handle, and he’d processed the news in the only way heknewhow.
It wasn’t right, and he wasn’t proud, but he couldn’t take it back. All he could do now was hope that he could find a way toapologize.
But first, he needed to take care ofGabriel.
Gabriel sat directly in front of him, mirroring Adrian’s posture. He had a bowl of potato and sausage hash cradled on his lap, and he prodded at it a few times with his fork, then sighed. Adrian’s bowl sat, untouched,besidehim.
“What are you upset about?” Adrian asked, trying to soundupbeat.
Gabriel looked up from his breakfast. “I heard you raise your voice atSterling.”
“Oh.” Adrian frowned. “It was just an argument. Sometimes couples have those. Didn’t you ever fight with yourboyfriend?”
It sickened him to talk so casually about the man who’d stolen Gabriel when he was too young to know better, but Adrian needed to find out more. The more he knew, the better equipped he would be to give Gabriel the care he deserved. But more than that, he wanted to know what had happened—why it had taken Gabriel so long to come home afterthebust.
“Oh. Well. Yeah.” Gabriel bit down on his lip. “But I never… never really raised my voice at him. Maybe a few times at the beginning, but never after that. I respected him, even when he did things Ididn’tlike.”
“Whyisthat?”
