“I knew it wasn’t going to work out as soon as I asked for the arrangement and you fired back with terms. TPEs aren’t something you negotiate. It defeats the purpose.” Sterling’s fingers didn’t stop their caress. “I’m not upset. I knew toanticipatethis.”
“Then why ask for it in the first place?” Under ordinary circumstances, Adrian’s temper would have flared. He remarked the resounding calmness in his soul and the way his brain had shut itself down, but he didn’t question it. Sex did fantastic things to his anger, and besides that, the strange sensation in his chest was back and bolderthanever.
He laid his head on Sterling’s chest once more and closedhiseyes.
“Because I wanted to know who you were.” Sterling spoke the words like they were simple. “When you push a man to his limits, you see the truth of his character—his flaws, his short fuses, his strengths… and I wanted to know what to expect from you. This is less about the sex than it is understanding your spirit. I would have let you back into The Shepherd even if you refused to strip naked, as long as I saw thetruth.”
“I don’t think I understand.” Adrian cracked an eye open, but didn’t lift his head. He observed the hills of Sterling’s tight abs and the lines of symmetry of his body. “What do you mean by thetruth?”
“I wanted to know that you’d keep your word—that you wouldn’t deceive me. That doesn’t mean that you have to listen to me all the time, but it means you have to be upfront about your wants. If you had decided to actually go through with the TPE, hung your head and submitted out of duty, I wouldn’t have let you go through with it. I know that we had a rocky start, but I’m not a monster. I wouldn’t force anyone to do something they didn’t want, especially if I have the higher ground over them like I didwithyou.”
Could he be trusted? It was a pretty story, but Adrian had heard pretty lies before. Was Sterling saving face now that they’d connected on a physical level? It was hardtotell.
“I don’t know if I believe you,” Adrianadmitted.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m not here to force your hand.” Sterling’s fingers wove down the back of Adrian’s head and along the nape of his neck where smaller, sensitive hairs grew. Adrian shivered. He pressed himself closer to Sterling. “Tonight, you showed me who you really are. If you want to leave, you’re free to do so. The Shepherd will continue towelcomeyou.”
“I…” Adrian knew that he should detach from Sterling’s side immediately, roll out of bed, and dress to go. If he’d been in his right frame of mind, it’s what he wouldhavedone.
But hedidn’t.
Instead, he nestled against Sterling and let his eyes shut once more. No matter what Sterling did or did not want from him, Sterling’s bedroom was a kinder place than the house Adrian shared with hisparents.
Adrian didn’t wanttogo.
“Mm? You what?” Sterling didn’t push the question too hard. His fingers met Adrian’s shoulder and started to trace along the skin there, his touch so gentle that it sent shivers down Adrian’sspine.
“I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you for as long as I agreedtostay.”
“You’re more thanwelcometo.”
There were other questions Adrian wanted to ask. What did Sterling want of him if they weren’t in a TPE? What kind of arrangement would they come up with instead? Was there anything about the penthouse that Adrian needed to be made aware of? But before he could ask, a distant, cheery melody broke the stillness. Adrian recognized the soundinstantly.
His mother wascalling.
Tension rocketed through his body, tightening his muscles and cramping his stomach. Sickness rose up inside of him, overwhelming the peace he’d been wrapped up in seconds ago. Not even Sterling’s presence was enough to soothe his risingdread.
“Mm?” Sterling shifted, then abandoned Adrian’s side. The mattress readjusted as Sterling sat up and swung his legs over the edge. All the while, Adrian observed him through eyes open just a slit. He made no move to find his phone. He didn’t want to speak to his mother—not now. “Is that yourphone?”
“Yes.” There was no sense inlying.
“A call, I’m guessing?” Sterling was on his feet in the next second, and he padded across the room, nude and shameless. If Adrian hadn’t been crippled by his anxiety, he would have taken the chance to marvel over the firm, muscular curves of Sterling’s tight ass or the shapeliness of his fair thighs, but all he could do now was remain on the bed while he tried to talk himself down from his fear. “I’llgetit.”
Adrian wanted to tell him to leave it, but Sterling was out the door before he could muster the courage to do so. By the time Sterling made it back to the room, the call had gone to voicemail, and Adrian’s apprehension had grown to the point that he thought he was going tobesick.
“It says it’s from your mom.” Sterling returned to the bed. He pressed the phone into Adrian’s palm. “She left amessage.”
“Thanks.” Adrian didn’t meetSterling’seyes.
“Are you going to listen to it?” From the corner of his eye, Adrian saw Sterling frown. “It’s after ten on a Friday night. I don’t think that your mother would be calling unless it was somethingimportant.”
Adrian wasn’t sure what to think. Most times his mother was so high that she had trouble figuring out how a phone worked. If she was calling, she was either in her violent, semi-lucid stage, or she was sober and something really waswrong.
Adrian wasn’t sure which wasworse.
“If you’re worried about it, I can listen for you.” Sterling yawned. “Your secrets are safewithme.”
That felt like a safe option. If his mother was high and rambling, Sterling wouldn’t know who the hell Gabriel was, anyway. With a nod, Adrian brought up the voicemail and passed the phone to Sterling. Sterling tapped on the message, then brought the phone to his ear andlistened.
