“No.” Marcus glanced across the room. As he was half-hard and still naked, the kitchen didn’t feel like the best place to continue a conversation. He headed for his bedroom. “I don’t think so, at least. I’ve been making small advances with him, but it’s… it’sdifferent.”
“Goon.”
“I don’t want to break him,” Marcus admitted. He sank into bed, placing his water on the bedside table. “It’s been a little more than a month now and I still don’t know where westand.”
“Have you tried anything with him?” Crawford asked. “When I met Owen, I made it very clear from the start what I was after, and even though he wasn’t familiar with the lifestyle, he respondedpositively.”
“I…” Marcus sank back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. His erection didn’t wane. “No, not really. I introduced the concept of total power exchange to him, and we had a private play scene where he proved receptive to the idea, but it’scomplicated.”
“It sounds like it’s pretty straightforward. Why is itcomplicated?”
“Because we’re not allowed to be together.” Marcus winced. He was used to bending the rules, but for Lucian, he’d snapped them right in half. Now he was afraid the splintered, jagged edges were going to hurt them. “He’s one of Clarissa’s bartenders. We’re sneaking around behindherback.”
“Does Sterling know?” Crawford asked, mildlyconcerned.
“Sterling doesn’t know.” Marcus rubbed his hand across his face. “No one knows. When I saw him, I knew I wanted him—I just didn’t know that I’d want himthismuch.”
The severity of what he’d said settled between them, forbidding room for anything else. Marcus ran his hand along his jaw, letting his stubble abradehispalm.
“I don’t know what to do. I thought that we’d play for a while, then go our separate ways, but Iwanthim.”
“Then what’s stopping you?” Crawford asked. “If you want him more than you want admission into The Shepherd, then the choice is clear,isn’tit?”
“No.” Marcus closed his eyes and held back a sigh. “If we go public about it, he could lose his job. The rules work both ways—the staff isn’t supposed to play with us as much as we’re not supposed to playwiththem.”
“You make more than enough money to support him. If he’s interested in total power exchange, you’d be supporting himanyway.”
What Crawford said made sense, and while Marcus adored the thought of keeping Lucian in his condo 24/7 as his toy, he wanted more for Lucian, too. He wanted to see Lucian vibrant, and happy, and so full of life that he glowed with it. Marcus could only provide so much happiness to Lucian if he kept Lucian locked up in hiscondo.
If he wanted to give Lucian true happiness, he needed to let him make the choice onhisown.
“I’ll take your silence as a no,” Crawford said. “You could always terminate your membership at The Shepherd. Then it wouldn’t be anissue.”
“But it’s the only place he’ll see me. He won’t even get inmycar.”
“If that’s the case, are you sure he’s as committed as you are? I’m taking it he’s an omega, if he’s working for Clarissa. You know how some omegas are. They either say yes too easily, or they’re too afraid tosayno.”
“He’s not like that.” Marcus spoke with a stern tone that surprised even himself. “I’m sorry, Crawford. I know you’re trying to help. It’s just… it’s complicated, likeIsaid.”
“Then it’s a good thing it’s in your hands,” Crawford said. “If there’s anyone from The Shepherd who can handle a complex situation with tact and grace, it’s you. Treat this like you would a criminal defense case. You’ll reason it outintime.”
“Except court cases follow rules.” Marcus grinned. “Once you divest yourself from the emotion behind whatever’s happening, the underlying threads all become clear. All you need to know how to do is manipulate those threads into the tapestry you want. It’s not the same with relationships. The heart doesn’t follow anyrules.”
“But The Shepherd does,” Crawford reminded him. “All you need to do is divest yourself from your emotion, just like you said. Figure out what threads you’re working with, then figure out how to weave them as you wish. I know you can do it, Marcus. You’re a good attorney, but you’re a damn good man, too. I havefaith.”
There was a shrill noise from Crawford’s end of the call. Marcus blinked his eyes open. “What’sthat?”
“The children,” Crawford said. “I’ve got to go. Keep me informed as to the progress you make, and I’ll keep you informed of the wedding date so you can elect to bring your plus one. I look forward tomeetinghim.”
“Nopromises.”
“Never.”
The goodbyes were short. It sounded as though Crawford had his hands full, and Marcus didn’t want to keep him. Their conversation had gone on for long enough, considering what was going on in Crawford’s life. They weren’t the same men they’d been just a few years prior, and while Marcus had once regretted that fact, he understood what Crawford was going through more clearly now than ever. Crawford hadn’t chosen to fall for an omega who’d reshaped his opinion of the world—it had happened to him by chance. Marcus had never been a gambling man, but refuting his own roll of this dice? He didn’t need experience to know that was a terrible idea. Lucian was either everything Marcus never knew he needed, or hewasn’t.
With any luck, it wouldn’t be long before Marcus knew if he’d struck the jackpot, or if the riches he thought he saw were all shine and nosubstance.
18
