Like this, it was easy to imagine Marcus’ weight on top of him, pinning him face-first into the pillows as he wrecked Lucian frombehind.
Lucian couldn’t blame his heat any longer—what he felt was inside of him, rooted in his soul in a way he couldn’t hope to weed out. He wanted Marcus. He wanted him more than he’d wanted any other alpha before. It didn’t matter if being with Marcus meant risking his job—if Marcus wanted him to, he’d drop to his knees in front of the bar and do whatever heasked.
There would be other jobs. But a man like that? Lucian bit back on his teeth and rode the dildo. There would never be another man likeMarcus.
An accidental slip of his fingers activated the inflating knot at the base of the dildo, and Lucian suddenly found himself full. With a guttural cry, he lurched forward and came, the knot driving the cum from his body. Spent, he slumped onto the bed. Clarity came all at once, ridding him of his destructivethoughts.
Marcus may have been different than any alpha Lucian had come across so far, but that was no reason to give him everything. Momentary lapses in judgment were fine, but Lucian needed to find the line between what was reasonable and what wasn’t. He wasn’t a whore anymore—hewasn’t—and he wasn’t going to let a man like Marcus Hayes turn him back into a subservient, spinelessservant.
A secret was fine. A secret was enticing, and fun, and everything that Lucian wanted from hisnewlife.
A secret wasn’t going to ruin him, though. He had a future to think of, and to trade it for a dicktoride?
No.
Confident in his choice, Lucian let the knot deflate and brought the dildo into the bathroom. He showered, cleaning it while he rinsed away memories of his sinful night. No more Knob Creek. No more phantom bite marks. When he was at home, he was his ownentity.
Marcus wasn’twelcomehere.
Steam swirled around Lucian’s ankles. The constant patter of water as it hit the porcelain helped drown out Lucian’s troubled thoughts. He turned off the stream only when he was sure he’d scrubbed Marcus from his skin and from his soul, but when he pulled back the shower curtain to see the light on his phone blinking, Lucian found himself right back where he’d started. Anticipation swelled in his chest, relighting the same guilty desire that he knew he shouldn’tencourage.
Marcus had sent him amessage.
Lucian wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped out onto the bathmat. He wiped his palms dry, but couldn’t bring himself to pick up his phone. The light blinked in a steady, rhythmic fashion, taunting him, and Lucian found himself apprehensive of what the message might contain. Back when he’d worked for Baylor, communication had always been predictable, but he wasn’t with The White Lotus anymore, and Marcus wasn’t like the men who treated him as nothing more than a hole to squeeze their dicks into. Even when Marcus had called him a toy and pulled his head back, tugging so tightly at his hair that his roots tingled, Lucian didn’t feel that what he did came across asobjective.
Notreally.
The difference was simple. The men who patronized The White Lotus treated Lucian as they did for their ownpleasure.
Marcus did what he did forLucian’s.
Lucian picked up the phone. It sat heavily in his hand, and he looked down at the blank screen, wondering if he should ignore the message completely. Temptation, Counselor Ellis once told him, could be circumvented byavoidance.
Tonight, though, Lucian couldn’t resist—he’d foster temptation with indulgenceinstead.
Lucian activated the screen and was ready to access the conversation when the name of the sender caught his eye. It wasn’t Marcus at all—it wasClarissa.
Hey, just wanted to make sure you got home okay. Didn’t see you on my way home like Iusuallydo.
Lucian scrubbed at his face. Marcus was under his skin and twisting his mind, and if he didn’t figure out what he wanted and needed soon, it was only going to getworse.
I’m back home now. Tried out a shortcut that got me home faster. Thanks forcheckingin.
Message delivered, Lucian returned to his bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. There was a lot to decide before next Friday’s encounter. Lucian wouldn’t show up to work without knowing exactly how he wanted toproceed.
He had his freedom—now it was just a matter of deciding what to dowithit.
* * *
Ineedsomething from youtonight.
The text came at noon the next Friday from the man Lucian had spent the week trying to figure out. In the end, he’d decided that he needed more time before he could draw any conclusions or set up any boundaries. The truth was, he was still too new to Marcus’ affection to know how it would continue to affect him. Should he be too distracted to function during his shift with Marcus in attendance at the club, he’d reevaluate fromthere.
But Lucian had a feeling that this text was about to change thatstrategy.
He pursed his lips andreplied.
Whatisit?
